Marriage Made On-Line

This Blog Is History (My Last Post)....

2005-01-22T23:03:00.000-06:00

If by mid day on Sunday the 23rd of January you haven't received an e-mail from me giving you a link to my new blog, you might want to e-mail me for the link. My e-mail can be found in my my profile. This blog will no longer be updated. If you care to continue to be updated on the "life of Chuck", shoot me an e-mail.

This has been a wonderful, almost eight month, experience. I hate to see it end, but I look forward to what the future has to bring. Y'all come and continue to hang out with me, the wife and the kids.

I hate to say it, but this is the last post from Chuck of "Marriage Made On-line", you will have to tune in to the new site to follow the adventures!

Cue "The Jefferson's theme song"......"Well, we're moving on up, to the east side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky....."

Chuck out.....

The End Of My Blog.....?

2005-01-21T22:12:00.000-06:00

Well the working with the boss and the review went fairly well, but now I have a problem. I would like to get some feed back from you guys. Remember back in November when I went to San Diego? The week that some of my blogger friends took over posting for me? Okay, good...well it seems that one of those nights I got a little drunk and happened to mention to my boss about my blog. I blame this entirely on Chris because it was his hilarious first post he made, as a guest blogger, that caused my intoxicated tongue to want to wag. I just thought it was so damn funny I just had to share. So who do I share it with? My freaking boss. He has internet access on his phone so he pulled it up right there, during the after dinner/drunkfest time, and looked it over. Well, evidently he came back and looked later as well as told his wife about it too. He also shared it with another employee from New Orleans. So all this time there has been at least three people possibly reading this that I would rather not be here reading. Damn vodka tonics! So last night, over even more drinks, he tells me that he had read a few post. He "claims" that he never came back after that first few visits, but I don't know what to think. Hell, he could be reading right now for all I know. It is not that I say anything too detailed on here about my job or my company. I don't give out any corporate secrets. I just feel kind of weird thinking that he could be reading.

So hear is where I would ask for your feedback. Do you think I should put this blog to rest and start up another? If I were to do that how would I let all you, my regular readers, know the new address? I guess I could send out a massive email, but I am sure there are a few of you who read whose email address I don't have. Or should I just say screw it, and keep this one up and running. I mean, in reality there isn't much here that I have written about that he doesn't already know. When we get together, and the work is done, we usually hit the bar pretty hard. Then we tend to talk about things most bosses and their employee's don't usually talk about. Plus, it's not like I am blogging during work hours! Let me know what you think.

In other news Susan and I watched The Omen tonight. Believe it or not I have never seen that movie. She had seen it, but it had been like back in 1980. It was a pretty decent flick.

Also I had to delete all the pictures I had posted on here. As some of you may have noticed it was taking forever for my blog to load. I figured it may have been due to the pics.

I hope you all have a nice weekend!!

I Loves Me Some Bush...

2005-01-19T23:07:00.000-06:00

Especially the one on the far left. Isn't Jenna hot?

I have been busy, busy, busy. So, sorry not much to report. Tomorrow and Friday I will be very busy with work. My boss is coming into town to work with me and do my review. Hope that goes over well!

I have been hard at work during the day and kicking back and watching TV with the family at night. We all have enjoyed the first two episodes of the new season of American Idol. My daughter loves to sing, and is quite talented, so the show is something that we enjoy watching as a family. Tonight me and Susan have been watching "I love the 90's part deux" on VH1. That trip down memory lane sure is a trip!

I am looking forward to taking a moment away from work tomorrow to watch the second (thank God) inauguration of President Bush. Unfortunately I had to decline my invitations to the parties since I have to work. Oh well...maybe I can attend the balls for the next inaugural when President Condoleeza Rice takes office. :)

Talk to y'all again, hopefully, on Friday evening....

Lunch With Snagley....

2005-01-18T14:42:00.001-06:00

Had lunch with fellow blogger Bo Snagley. The man has no table manners. Used his fingers to eat with and his sleeve as a napkin. It was sad. And the belching was atrocious! Most of the restaurant was staring. Sad to see that some people just have no home training.

Remembering Friends and College Days....

2005-01-17T22:29:00.000-06:00

I have been thinking about my college days tonight and thought I would scan and post a picture. The picture below was taken on the night of me and my, (later to become) ex wife's first date. FA, although she wasn't such a FA back then, had invited me to her sorority fall formal. Me and the guy in the pic were both in the same fraternity, although at the time he was an initiated brother and I was a pledge. I am not sure of his name now...I guess it has been too long.

I have sat here going through my old photo album from those days. I bet I have over 100 pictures. Hmmmm, I wonder if I should scan and post any others?

2005-01-17T22:03:00.000-06:00

Me and a friend during the college days, those are napkins on our heads, in case you were wondering, and yes...we were posing in an elevator...

"YAWN"...Not much to read here....

2005-01-16T15:03:00.000-06:00

Well, this has been an interesting although boring weekend. We haven't done too much except watch football.

Friday night my daughter had two friends over to spend the night. I fixed hot dogs and chips and they had a great time doing whatever it is that 11 and 12 year old girls do. Later in the evening they watched Signs and I listened from my bedroom as they periodically screamed at the spooky parts. Meanwhile I was engrossed with the afore mentioned Battlestar Galactica two episode series premier. I was impressed, it was pretty good. Later that night I stayed up pretty late fighting with, uh I mean talking with Susan. The girls stayed up late to, till three am.

Saturday, once the girls had all been picked up, I took my daughter to another friends for another sleep over then came home and began a day pretty much taken up by football. My son, by the way, is with his Mother this weekend. Last night I went and picked up some carry out, hot wings from this place, and we watched more of the games. Susan went to bed around 10:30 and I followed along about an hour and a half later.

Today we slept late, or as Ed says had a "lie in". Once we awoke and I had showered we drove to Wal Mart and bought some groceries, then came home to begin another day of football. Thanks to Susan's advice I have correctly picked three of the four games, so far played, this weekend on ESSF's Fantasy Football Picks. My wife knows football. I have never met a woman who knows more about football than her. She knows the weights, heights and college teams of most of the pro players out there. She has this little game where she will ask me, "Where did that guy go to school?" Since I hardly know any of the answers I always guess something stupid like, "Uh....that would be Skankyville Community College." Sometimes I wonder if she really knows all this crap she claims to. Oh well, knowing how inferior women are to men I guess I can't begrudge her this one feeling of superiority.

Okay, that last sentence was a joke....

Susan is now down for her nap and I sit here with a diet coke, a marboro light and my lap top. I have some chicken breasts marinating in low carb teriyaki sauce and a salad ready to be mixed together. All I have to do is fire up my grill later and dinner will be about ready. It is time for the Colts to take on the Pats. Hope Peyton keeps it together and secures Indy a trip to the next round. I really don't know why I like him so much, my wife would leave my ass in a heartbeat if he would have her.

This story is pretty sad, and it's too bad it comes from my neck of the woods...

Thats about it for now, anything else you want to know?

SciFi vs. Sex and My Son The Cat....

2005-01-13T22:00:00.000-06:00

Glad to see there are a few of you out there looking forward to the Battlestar Galactica series. Ed, I am pissed that you Brits have already been privy to the series before us over here! For some reason that just don't seem right.

Today was pretty boring. Went on a couple sales calls with a customer and took him to lunch. Came home and worked hard. I talked to my boss today. I have been awarded two customer trips this year. One is for a cruise in the Caribbean and the other is a winter trip to a nice resort in the Canadian Rockies. Usually we are only allowed to go on one a year. Since I have never had the opportunity to go on customer trips before, as my counterparts have, I suggested that we (me and Susan) get to take both this year. He informed me that that was a decent argument and it would be a good possibility that we could take them both. But if it comes down to having to choose one, we will go with the cruise. Never been on one of those before, but I have seen snow and skied a few times. Plus I don't like Canada all that much, no offense to any Canadians who may be reading....

Tonight, as I was making dinner, my four year old son was crawling around the kitchen floor acting like a cat. At the back door we keep a bag of cat food for Susan's cat. Her cat has to be given food in her bowl on the sidewalk out back because she won't come in the garage and eat with the other (T's) cat. L kept saying, in a high pitched cat's voice, that he wanted some of the cat food. Well I told him to stick his hand in the bag and get him a piece. With me and Susan looking on he did just that. He took a little kernel and stuck it in his mouth and chewed it up. After he had swallowed he said, "Mmmm, that was good!", then asked (in the cat voice) for some water. Susan suggested he have a bowl full with some milk but he wasn't down for that. Guess it wasn't that good after all. Is it bad that we find joy in watching our child eat cat food? Lord, I hope this doesn't make me a bad parent. It can't hurt him, right?

It has now been five days since I have had marital relations with my wife. I was offered the opportunity last night on "hump day", but I declined. Susan's "aunt flo" came to visit, and seeing as it was the first day of the visit I didn't feel inclined (or have the stomach) to accept the invitation. Hopefully by Friday night things will settle down enough to take a trip to pleasure town! If it coincides with the Battlestar Galactica premier tomorrow night I may have to skip.............the sex. LOL Go check out the three trailers here, they are all good but the second and third are the bomb!

A recent commenter on my blog, Bo Snagley, has started a blog. Y'all go say hey, and encourage him to post something other than about how my floors/carpets aren't clean.

By The Lords Of Kobal...

2005-01-12T22:01:00.000-06:00

To many of you this will probably not mean a thing. But I feel like I should talk a little about something that I am VERY excited about. Before I do, take a walk back in time....

It is the late Seventies and Star Wars was a smash hit in the theaters. Network television decides to get in on the success and rides the Star Wars coat tails with a series called Battlestar Galactia. It was on for a only a few years, but it made its mark.

Then fast forward 25 years and there is a mini series on the SciFi network which goes by the same name. There are some differences, but it still is recognizable with the original. Yeah, maybe Starbuck is now a woman, the special effects are much better and Lorne Green's character has been replaced by Edward James Olmas , but there is the same threat to human kind. Maybe the Cylons are more high tech and there is a little more sex than the original, but you know the Galactia when you see it gliding through space. This was a great remake!

The mini series originally aired back in December of 2003 (I watched it the first time then), but was re-aired tonight on SciFi. This is all leading up to a new series beginning this Friday night on the same network. The first episode will air this Friday night (Jan. 14) at 9pm EST. Go check out the website here. Be sure to turn up your speaker volume. Friends, this is a good show...People Magazine even gave it 3.5 stars! It just really takes me back....I loved the original and can't wait for the new series!

2005-01-11T23:42:00.000-06:00

And my son on Halloween...Yes, I just picked the film up from CVS today...little late, but luckily I have the new scanner.

2005-01-11T23:40:00.000-06:00

My daughter on Halloween...

Chuck, The Grandfather.....

2005-01-11T17:45:00.000-06:00

Today was a pretty uneventful day, other than the dream I woke up from this morning.

First the day....

I worked and nothing exciting happened.

The dream...

I had the most vivid dream that my 11 year old daughter was pregnant. I remember thinking (in the dream) how in the world I would explain this to family, friends and her teachers. In my dream I recall discussing with Susan how an abortion would be out of the question so we would have to find adoptive parents for the baby once it was born. Then I remember she and I having discussions about how it may be possible for us to adopt and raise the child. What a FREAKY dream!

When I awoke around 6:10 am I looked over at Susan, in the process of getting ready for work, and asked her if T was pregnant. Please realize that I was still mostly asleep and my mind was pretty cloudy. She said something along the lines of, "What? Are you smoking crack?" I rolled back over and realized, still 1/2 asleep, that my daughter hadn't even gotten her period yet, so being pregnant would be out of the question. I went back to a dreamless sleep and woke up again around 7:45am.

Damn, this has shaken me all day. I sure hope it wasn't an omen of things to come! I mentioned a few post back that I have been having some pretty weird and vivid dreams lately. I wonder what may be waiting for me tonight when I go to sleep....Freddy Kruger? I sure hope not!

Busy Day and Rae...(hey, that rhymes)...

2005-01-10T20:43:00.000-06:00

This has been a busy day. Had to travel out of town to meet with a customer in NW Alabama. I have been gone from 9am till around 6 pm. Got pulled over on the way home. I was ticketed for doing 73 in a 55 zone. Great way to spend $167! This is the first speeding ticket I have had in 11 years, and only the 4th that I have ever had. Damn...

Got a friend who has started her own blog. Go check out Rae's place, and send her some love. She is new at this, but promises to be a faithful blogger.

Off to put the kids to bed....more tomorrow evening, I promise...

Another Stupid Quiz....

2005-01-09T14:59:00.000-06:00

Chris challenged me to do it, so here goes...

3 names you go by:

Chuck, Dad, Hey You!

3 screen names you have:

suechu116 (on Yahoo IM) is the only one

3 things you like about yourself:

Compassionate, loving, punctual

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself:

Weight, hair, addictive personality

3 parts of your heritage:

English, Cherokee, Corellian

3 things that scare you:

Being alone, losing my kids, Ted Kennedy

3 of your everyday essentials:

Tobacco, vodka, toilet paper

3 things you're wearing right now:

White T-shirt, boxer shorts, athletic socks

3 of your favorite bands/artists (subject to change at any time):

Starland Vocal Band, The Partridge Family, Atlantic Star

3 of your favorite songs at present:

Afternoon Delight, I think I love you, Always

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:

Lose 50 lbs and keep it off, Swinging, nude sun bathing

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given):

Honesty, hot sex, worship

2 truths and a lie:(no particular order to keep ya guessing)

Urinated with (country star) Alan Jackson, My tesicles didn't drop till I was 14, I have never (unfortunately) had sex with a woman of another race

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:

nice hair, hot/juicy booty, ample bosom

3 things you just can't do without:

Love, my children, friends

3 of your favorite hobbies:

Reading, blogging, sex

3 things you want to do really badly right now:

Travel out of the country, get new bedroom furniture, have wild sex with my wife

3 careers you're considering (let's say I would consider):

College professor, archeologist, hand model

3 places you want to go on vacation:

The UK, Germany, Northern California

3 kids names (either boy or girl):

Tad, Han, Oprah

3 things you want to do before you die:

See Europe, have fun with my grandchildren, say "see ya" as my ex wife moves far away with a new husband

3 people who have to take this quiz now:

Ed, Dobbs, Chas

Lazy Saturday....

2005-01-08T14:44:00.000-06:00

Standing on the scale this morning I found that I have lost 13 lbs since I started this diet back on Monday. Not bad for five days of dieting. Didn't expect to have lost any due to the happy hour trip I took with an old college buddy last night. M and I met at a wing place, had a couple beers, ate some wings and caught up. We hadn't seen each other in about a year, so it was nice to see what all had been going on.

I sure am glad the weekend is here! This had been a busy week trying to catch up after so much time off work. We haven't done much today but sit around. I cleaned and organized my office. Susan has been on my ass for a while now to get things cleared up in my office. I literally had piles of paperwork and other stuff all over my desk and even on the floor. Today I sat down and weeded through the whole mess and filed what I needed and trashed the rest. Since then I have been installing my new HP 5 in 1 printer and wiping the inch of dust from all my office furniture. Susan is now down for her usual Saturday nap and I will be alone for at least three hours. Hmmm, wonder what I could do to pass the time? Reckon I will have to put on my "blog whore" hat and go surf all your sites. Might even leave a comment or two while I am at it!

Watched King Arthur on DVD last night. This is really a good movie. Doesn't have all the far flung crap associated with most of the Arthurian Legends. The movie takes the stance, which many historians do, that Arthur was actually the son of a British woman and a Roman father and was the leader of a group of knights serving the Roman government on the British Island. Very good movie, lots of action and battle gore...I highly recommend it!

Congratulations to Robert Dobbs and family on the birth of his second daughter. Go check out her picture on his blog. She is a cutie!

Edit: 11:38 pm...Susan and I went out tonight shopping at the mall, then went to O'Charley's for dinner. I had a nice steak with broccoli and a Caesar salad...along with a couple of draft beers. We came home and Susan suddenly became quite the horny one. We retired into the bedroom and she went wild slobbing the knob. This turned into some awesome missionary position sex where, after 15 minutes or so of hard pounding, she came and I followed, 30 seconds later, by pulling out and shooting a big load on her stomach. Just in case y'all were wanting to know....

Hump Day Report...

2005-01-05T22:26:00.000-06:00

What a day! I am two days into my new diet and I am down seven and a half pounds! I was pretty surprised when I stepped on the scale this morning. Had to re-step on it a couple times to be sure it was right! Later today, when I took my daughter to the dentist, I had to actually take the belt up a notch. All I have eaten today was....breakfast, 4 pieces of sausage. Lunch, a hand full of pepperoni and a hunk of cheese. Supper, two steaks with some of the low carb A1 sauce. Evening snack, another hunk of cheese. And the cool thing is that I have felt full all day!!

The new mattress was....okay. Susan said she slept like a rock. I, on the other hand, woke up every couple hours. When I got out of bed this morning the small of my back was hurting. Susan said it was because I always sleep on my stomach. I think it might be because this fancy new mattress has the firmness of granite!

Tonight we watched Shaun of the Dead. That was a damn good movie! I love British comedy and have been a avid watcher of Britcoms on PBS for years. My favorites are "Keeping Up Appearances", "Are You Being Served" and "Fawlty Towers". Any of the Python shows or movies are sure to keep me laughing my ass off too. So, Ed...is Keeping Up Appearances still on in the UK? God, Hyacinth Bucket cracks me up!

On a more serious note, tomorrow we are going to meet with my attorney. The ex has freeloaded for long enough, and not done her share to help out with the kids, so we are going to look into getting total custoday and stopping with the alimony. It has been two years, and she hasn't tried to do anything to find a job or make herself better. We are sick of paying her money to sit on her ass and get her hair and nails done, along with the tanning bed, while we struggle to make ends meet as a family of four. Her Mom has been paying her rent and utilities for the past few months. If the ex doesn't want to do something to better her situation, then her Mom can pull her weight 100%. Susan and I are tired of doing it! Cross your fingers for us!

A New Mattress and Brad Pitt's Backside...

2005-01-04T17:57:00.000-06:00

Boy I tell you, I have practically been off now for the better part of two weeks and it has sucked getting back into the swing of things. But I did, and I worked hard today! Had a lot of stuff to catch up on, emails to answer/send and calls to return. It's been a crazy day, but now I am ready for a breather, at least until tomorrow!

I am waiting for our new mattress to be delivered tonight. I asked Susan earlier if she thought we could "take it for a test drive this evening" and she said with a roll of her eyes and a sigh, "Oh, I guess so." Wow! It is so wonderful to have a wife that is so enthused. Sure does make a fellow feel special....NOT!

I took a little break today and watched Troy. Damn, what kind of idiot would friggin start a war over a piece of ass? Hell, he was a prince...he could have had any woman in the damn country! And what about that "gift horse"? What is it they say? "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" or something like that? Yeah, I can see why. The movie was okay. The action was great. Could have done without seeing Brad Pitt's naked ass so much though. Great, now I am going to get all kinds of hits from people Googling pics of that persons ass. So far today I have gotten hits from folks looking for everything from "cum facials" and "kids over my knee", to "wives with big dicked men"! Well those that came for the first and the third have come to the right place! :)

Oh, by the way....today is day two of my "very low carb diet" and this morning when I weighed I was 2 and a half pounds lighter than yesterday morning!! Whooo Hoooo!!!

Oh well, there wasn't much worth posting about....sorry for wasting your time. I think I will go have a cocktail!

Edit: 8:50pm....well the mattress had it's test run. Susan actually initiated the activity, and got into it pretty good. I was shocked, and thankful. A $1800 mattress is much better than a $400 mattress anyday. Sure worked good for sex, can't wait to see how it feels to sleep on it!

A New Year, Dragons and Resolutions....

2005-01-02T13:23:00.000-06:00

Well, 2005 is here and I hope the first couple days aren't representative of what the rest of the year will bring. It's been a pretty blah time around here....

The kids have spent the past few days with their Mother...

Friday, during the day, Susan and I went to Haverty's and bought a new, very expensive mattress. For almost two years we have been sleeping on a cheap $400 king size mattress I got right after my divorce. Cheap mattresses don't do well for bad backs, let me tell you. Friday night Susan and I ate chicken wings (the hotter the better) and drank red headed sluts (my favorite shot). We watched movies then went to bed soon after the new year arrived. Yesterday we didn't do much of anything but watch football and eat. The Cotton Bowl was awesome! The Tennessee Volunteers spanked some Texas A&M booty! I wonder if I have any Aggie fans who read my blog. I know there are a number of you from Texas. Well if any of you do pull for Texas A&M I just have this to say...."Ha, Ha...we kicked your ass!"

Today has been pretty much of the same....extreme boredom. I had hoped for a little lovin from the wife, but she was her usual unenthusiastic self. In other words I got a half assed blow job for about 3 minutes till I finally told her to forget it and got up and left the bedroom. Oh, but she sure came like a champ last night, but as usual can't put much into reciprocating. And she wonders why I sometimes look at porn? Thank God that I can masturbate...

In the past two weeks I have been off from work quite a few days, what with the holidays and taking the remainder of my vacation time. During this time I have got into the habit of taking naps. Now I am not a usual nap taker. I hardly ever do, even when I don't get my usual seven or eight hours at night. For some reason I have been taking quite a few lately, maybe it is just out of boredom....who knows...but the weird thing is that I have been having some wild dreams. My most vivid dream lately was one where it fell upon me to rid the neighborhood of an infestation of dragons. These weren't the usual huge fire breathing variety, but instead they were the size of a raptor, were white with little wings on their backs, and they talked. I remember, in my dream, having to go out into the woods and hunt them down with a bow and arrow. I also remember seeing the half eaten corpses of my neighbors who weren't as lucky at the hunt as I was. The thing that most stands out to me in the dream was not the terror I felt at being pursued by these monsters, but the lack of concern Susan had for my well being as I left the house, for what could have been the last time, to go confront the queen of the dragons. I remember wanting to kiss her and be held by her, and all she cared about was what was on t.v., rather than if I would end up the next dinner of the neighborhood herd of dragons. Man, everything about this dream seemed so true to life...I wonder if there really are dragons in the neighborhood....

I have noticed that a few of you have been listing some resolutions for this new year. Well, I pretty much have two big ones. The first being that I plan on losing weight. In the past six to eight months I have let myself really go. I have probably gained a good fifty pounds. Tomorrow, January 3rd, 2005 I will begin an intense, regimented low carb diet. I have had a lot of success with this diet in the past. The first time, in the summer of 2000, I lost about 96 pounds. From October 2001 till Feb. of 2003 I had gained about 60 of it back, but started the diet again that Feb. when my first wife left me. I quickly lost the 60 lbs, and snagged myself another wife in the process. Now I am back up to within 20 lbs of my all time high weight and I am sick of it. I am tired of the closet of clothes that don't fit. I am tired of the comments from my wife, and I am tired of feeling like such a slob. If I still had a digital camera I would post a before pic here and then another in four or five months so you could see the dedication I have to losing this weight.

My other resolution is to exercise. I used to be pretty into cardio and weight training and I intend to be that way again. Starting tomorrow I will begin walking the neighborhood (watch out for the dragons!) and doing sit ups and push ups. Hopefully soon I will be able to again join a gym or invest in some home equipment. My friends, there will be a new and improved Chuck around here pretty soon. Maybe it will help the other aspects of my life if I look and feel better.

Well, I reckon that's about it for now. I hope you all have had a nice first couple days of the new year! I'll be talking to you soon....

2004-12-30T10:33:00.000-06:00

I have noticed in the past few days I have received a ton of traffic from people looking for the recipe for red velvet cheesecake. If you are interested in it, drop me an email and I will send it to you.

chuck116@gmail.com

Christmas Trash...

2004-12-29T17:02:00.000-06:00

People's trash say a lot about them, don't you think? This morning, as I sat here preparing to work, I looked out my office window and noticed all the recyclable discarded Christmas rubbish sitting out in front of the houses. Empty toy boxes, bags of used wrapping paper, and even old broken toys who now have a replacement. Had I wanted to walk over and dig a little deeper I could have possibly seen a little into what type of gifts the man/woman/kids of the house received. Of course I didn't do this...I am not one to go digging through trash, but still it made me think.

Thursdays are usually our trash and recyclable pick up days. When I drive through the neighborhood I can learn a lot by looking into those recycle bins. I can tell what kind of beer my neighbors like. Whether they are Coke or Pepsi people and how many pizza's they had delivered during the week.

I am not one for putting out my cardboard for all to see. When I choose to actually recycle I tend to break down all the boxes and put them into a larger box. No need for my neighbors to see the four or five cases of beer I go through in a week. Susan doesn't need to see that either. She may determine we can't afford that much towards my beer budget! Along the same note I personally hauled my Christmas trash to the dump the other day. I didn't want to junk up the front of my house with tons of boxes and I surely didn't want the neighbors to see the box that my life size friend came in.

Okay...that was a joke...

Ironically, when I opened the local paper late this morning, there was an article about just this same thing. Carla Crowder, a talented staff writer for The Birmingham News had this article on the front page. She weaves her tell of "picking up trash" well and mixes in a little 80's music along the way. It is a good read, go check it out.

By the way....I have 5 invitations to Gmail if anyone wants one. First come first served!

A Wonderful Christmas, Clogged Kitchen Sink, Post Christmas Facial and Penile Birthdays....

2004-12-27T21:20:00.000-06:00

Christmas has come and gone and it was pretty dang good here at casa Chuck. The kids were up by 6am. I let them come downstairs at 6:30, and the presents were all opened by 7am! Both T and L were very pleased with their gifts, and there sure was a lot of them. My ex picked up the kids around noon and took them to see The Incredibles again while Susan and I took a nap. FA had them home by 4:30 and my parents, sister and their boxer, Annie arrived around 5ish. My Mom and I finished up all the dinner prep I had already began, and we all sat down for a huge ass Christmas dinner around 7pm. Ahhh, it was divine....turkey, ham, my "special" dressing, lima beans, mashed taters, gravy, green bean casserole and broccoli casserole, and of course rolls. For desert we had applesauce cake, fudge and Susan's red velvet cheesecake (which was pretty good, by the way). That evening we all gathered in the livingroom and played a board game, then turned on music and watched L dance for us. That was a site to see. I swear my boy is destined to be on Broadway someday. I just hope he chooses women to date. Afterwards my parents, Susan and I watched The Hot Chick on HBO or Showtime or one of those channels, while my sister took the kids upstairs to watch the new Harry Potter movie on DVD.

Sunday morning, once the neighbors had awoken, my Dad and I broke out the chain saw he had brought with him. We cut out a huge limb resting on my fence from a tree that bit the dust back during Hurricane Ivan. Glad to finally have that taken care of. They loaded up and headed back to Tennessee by 1pm. It was nice having them here for a visit, however short it may have been. They haven't been down since I have done all the interior changes (painting and stucco in the kitchen) and they were very impressed. The ex came and again picked up the kids for the day and Susan and I ended up in the bedroom, in bed, watching some lame ass movie on The Lifetime Network.

After laying there for a few minutes I found that there was a considerable growing in my boxers. I pulled the covers back, waved it around a little and asked Susan if she, "wanted some of this?" She took one look at my huge lil buddy and politely declined. God, why don't things happen to me like the do with Ed? Hell, our wives have the same name! Anyway, I laid there for a little while longer, stroking it even more, and again asked if she wanted some. She said, and this is where it gets weird, "no....but you can cum on my face if you want." I had to ask her over again a few times till I really believed that she meant it. So with the confidence that she was "down w'dat" I got up on my knees, in front of her face, and continued jacking it. A few minutes later I felt the moment was here and asked again if she was sure. She said yes and I let loose the first volley. It struck right at her right nostril and continued across her cheek into her hair and onto the pillow. The other bursts landed on her cheek, in her mouth and on her upper lip. What a classic porn scene, other than the fact she had a terrible grimace on her face the whole time. You don't see the whole "grimace thing" very often in porno facials. Once I was done she tried to once ask for a towel, but I politely thanked her and proceeded to walk out of the room, leaving her laying there with cum all over her face and in her mouth! Of course I was joking....I turned around and headed into the bathroom to get a towel, but it was a funny moment (to me) while it lasted! Once she was all cleaned up we took a nap then got up and ate some Christmas dinner leftovers. The kids came home and we all gathered in the livingroom to watch the Harry Potter DVD. What a memorable day after Christmas.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Our kitchen sink got majorly stopped up. The sad/funny thing about this is that the exact same thing happened last year on Christmas day. So one year and a day later we found ourselves having to call a plumber to come out and fix things. After the $185 check was written we now again have running water in the kitchen sinks and unclogged pipes. Ironically it was the exact same guy fixing it today who came out last year. Once he was finished and was heading out I told him, "Thanks...see you next year!" LOL

Today, Monday, we were both off and didn't do too much. I hauled a SUV load of boxes and bags of wrapping paper to the dump, went grocery shopping, rented "I, Robot", and we again took a nap while watching a Lifetime movie. This time we had regular sex....Tonight we made a macaroni/cheese/ham casserole and watched the movie with the kids. Susan is now in bed, the kids are upstairs playing new PS2 games and I sit here reminiscing with you all.

One "kid related funny thing" did happen this evening. Susan had put L in the tub and after a few minutes I went in to check on him. He was sitting there in the water with his knees up and his arms wrapped under his legs playing with his Tee-Tee (yeah, that's what he calls it...). When he saw me standing there he said, "Dad I am singing Happy Birthday to my Tee-Tee." He then proceeded to sing the song while squeezing his "thing". Not exactly knowing what to say I just stood there with a grin and said, "cool", then went into the kitchen to tell Susan about what had just happened. All she said was, "Well at least he is finding ways to have fun with himself." Man what a moment that was. Who knew that your penis had a different birthday that the rest of your body?

Hope you all had a very merry Christmas! Back to work tomorrow......

....And All Through The House....

2004-12-24T11:49:00.000-06:00

Thought I would continue with Chris' post title from today. After all, reading his post has increased my own Christmas spirit by a good 83.56%. Thanks buddy!

Things are beginning to look a lot like Christmas here in my home. I just went and picked up my kids from the ex's and brought them home. They are running around all excited about what lay ahead. Having been gone for a week, they couldn't help but notice all the new gifts under the tree. There sure is a butt load of Holiday cheer going on here! Susan is in the kitchen making, what she claims will be a new tradition, a red velvet cheesecake. She found the recipe in the latest issue of Southern Living Magazine. She's been at it for a while now and I think I have only heard her cuss maybe twice!

Well, I am going to post this and start helping with the house cleaning. SusieG and her husband are coming by this evening, and my parents are coming tomorrow afternoon. There is much to do.

I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. As I have mentioned before, so many of you have become very good friends, and practically like family. I hope you and your families have an awesome holiday!

I'll post again sometime on Sunday!

Merry Christmas, and oh by the way...You Are A Fat Ass...

2004-12-22T19:03:00.000-06:00

A little background before I begin....Susan has this ex boss, D, I mentioned him here. I have expressed anger before because of the way he treated her. What kind of husband wouldn't be a little pissed off if his wife was mistreated by a manager? I have even gone as far as to say how I would love to kick his ass. I was sure to say that I wouldn't dream of doing so until she quit the job and I was to see him out in public somewhere. I would never go to the work place and be anything but distantly cordial if I were to see him. Much like the way I was the last time I saw him in person. It was after all the shit had began with him, and I saw him at an anniversary celebration for the morning DJ team. I was very nice to him, said hello and shook his hand. Never once did I frown or say anything negative to the man, even though I knew, at that point, the way he was treating my wife professionally. He ended up pushing her out of his realm of management into another area within the same company. If I were to meet him today I would be nothing but nice to the man. Although I would want to behave differently, I would be polite in respect for my wife. And she knows that.....Which leads me to today's activities....

Today both Susan and I were off work, and we are off till next Tuesday for Christmas. We slept in, then woke up but lay in bed watching "Little House On The Prairie" on the HallMark channel. We watched two episodes then left to go pick up my new company car at the Ford dealership. I am the proud driver of a brand new 2005 Ford Taurus. It is nice to have a brand new car that I don't have to pay a cent for. We left there and drove to her office building. There is a co worker there that is divorced with two kids and a dead beat ex husband. She had no money for Christmas presents. Susan had decided to give her $50 to contribute to the donations that other caring coworkers had given. When we got there and parked Susan turned to me and said, "Why don't you just sit here and wait for me. You don't want to come up do you? Just wait here, I will be right back." I sat there flabbergasted, assuming as we drove there that I would go upstairs with her. When she hurried out of the car with out allowing me to go with her I was just floored. I sat there for 20 minutes, looking over the new features of my new car till she came back. When she got back in the car she told me about the nice time she had had up there, how laid back everyone was and then proceeded to tell me that she wanted to go for a late lunch at a new restaurant. She said that her best bud, SusieG, was going to meet us there. I was a little pissed off. It kind of burned my ass that she didn't want me to go upstairs with her and I asked her why. I knew the real reason, but I wanted to hear her explanation. She claimed that she was worried that I would confront this old manager, D, and cause a scene. I immediately didn't buy that. She knows, better than anyone, that I would never cause a scene in front of people....especially at her place of work. I may hate the guy for what he did to her, but I would never dream of doing anything stupid. And she knows this. Suddenly I was taken back, in my mind I remembered this morning, when she told me how fat I am getting. Then it donged on me...she didn't want to be associated with me in public, around people she works with, because I have gained some weight. When she asked what my problem was, and I had told her, she tried to claim it was because she was afraid I would confront D. God, how much more lame of an excuse could she dream up? It would have been better had she lied and said that the elevator was out, and she didn't want my fat ass to have to walk up the seven flights of stairs. But no, she chose a lame ass lie, but she didn't realize that I wouldn't fall for it.

We went to the restaurant. Began to drink some good draft beer and then her best friend SusieG showed up. They talked about work and we ordered some food. We ate and drank and had a pretty good time. Towards the end of the night two of Susan's work friends showed up. One was a seller, like her, and the other was a VERY popular DJ on the Top 40 Station. They both came up to the table. Nick Nice, the DJ, had to introduce himself to me and the other person, the seller, I had to introduce myself to her. This just blew me away....Is Susan this embarrassed of me? Hell, I can somewhat understand that she didn't want me going up into her work place, but to dis me infront of these two people at the table? Damn, what is up with that? Then I learn later tonight....once we got home (5pm) and Susan had gone to bed, that she didn't want me to go to her company Christmas Party because she feared I would "beat up her old boss." What kind of lame ass shit is that? I am the most laid back, civil person you would ever think to meet. It took all I had to spank my son a while back for lying....much less some guy that really means nothing to me.

It just really sucks to be an object of shame to my wife. I know I need to lose some weight and I will do so at the first of the year. Maybe it would show her if I chose to begin my weight loss regiment now, and not cook all the food she is wanting for Christmas dinner. I reckon she would change her tune if she found that she would have to do all the work to make the dinner herself.

It sucks to have your wife be ashamed of you. I am sorry I have gained a few extra pounds, but I am still the same person. I just want to be appreciated and wanted.

You may be thinking that this is just a bitch fest because I am hoping she will read this and then make up for it. Well, first of all...this isn't a bitch fest, this is the truth the way I see it. Secondly, she hasn't read my blog since October. I doubt she will begin now.

I guess I will go and begin drinking again. Night...

Five More Shopping Days.....

2004-12-20T18:50:00.000-06:00

I went today and finished up my Christmas shopping. Even though we have bought so much for the kids, I couldn't resist getting this. That thing is the shiznit! I have had fun playing with it for the past hour. Can't wait for the kids to see it on Christmas morning! I also bought T an electric scooter. She had asked for one, but we told her no because it isn't all that conducive for exercise. So she is totally not expecting it and will be way surprised! We have bought the kids too much, but there is just something about this time of the year. I soften up and give in. I just remember all that my Mom and Dad would do for me at Christmas. They would go all out. I make sure the kids don't just get random stuff during the year. I want them to appreciate the gifts they get on Birthdays and at Christmas. So I tend to go overboard on those occasions. Oh man, I am so excited! Can't wait for them to see their presents!

Susan picked herself out, and bought, some new clothes during our mall trip over the weekend. They are wrapped up and under the tree. Won't be too much of a surprise, but they are things that she wanted. Today I found something she wants and had mentioned, but didn't plan on buying. It will be a surprise, so I shan't mention it here (in case she is reading), but I know she will like it!! I am not expecting much in the way of gifts this year. Susan isn't one for buying things for special occasions. She feels like the things we buy during the course of the year are gifts enough. She also feels like buying for the kids is more important. I agree, but still I would like to open at least one thing on Christmas morning. Guess I am a freak for feeling this way....oh, well maybe someday I will grow up.

As I have said a couple times on here before, this blogworld keeps getting smaller and smaller and more real everyday. I have met another friend thanks to bloging and have spent some time talking to her and getting to know her. Y'all go say hey to Michelle sometime when you get a chance. She is an awesome woman, always good for a laugh and full of good advice for dorks like me.

I also got to have a nice visit with my old buddy Jim today. Those of you who have read from the beginning may remember him. Well, he surprised me today by stopping by and we had a nice time catching up. He is off this week, so hopefully he and I will be able to catch up more at a happy hour somewhere soon.

The kids are having a nice time with FA's family down in Florida. I sure do miss them though. Talked with the ex (FA) tonight and she was shopping, with her Mother's money, to buy the kids some Christmas gifts. She wanted my advice on what to buy them. I am so thankful for those two kids! I sure do love them. Can't wait for them to be home on Thursday night.

I am off now to make a breakfast casserole for Susan's company Christmas breakfast tomorrow morning. It's pretty good and I am willing to share the recipe. Sparkey, hope that dressing turned out okay for you guys!

Hectic Day and Work Induced Horniness....

2004-12-18T11:32:00.000-06:00

Wow, what a day yesterday was. As I had mentioned before, I have a lot of things I have been stupidly sitting on that needed to get done before year end. Seeing as I am only working Monday and Tuesday of next week I decided to devote yesterday to a whirlwind attempt to knock out most of my projects. I worked from about 7:30 am till 9pm last night to get it all done. Stopping only a couple times to eat, use the bathroom, run to the liquor store and to have sex. More on that later....

So, has everyone finished their holiday shopping? I would say we are about 95% done. All that is left is getting a few things for family and stocking stuffers for the kids. We intend to go out this evening and wrap all the remaining gifts up. Susan went out early this morning, and $150 later, we have most of the stuff we will need to make our holiday feast. She will be given a certificate from work for a honey baked ham from that honey baked ham place, and all we will have left to get will be a turkey. I love making big holiday meals. I make some killer sausage dressing (in the south it is dressing, not stuffing) and if anyone is interested I will be happy to share the recipe.

So far today we have worked hard to clean out the garage. Every since the yard sale a few weeks back our garage has been a hell hole. We drug out a crap load of junk we didn't want, nor felt like selling and I hauled it all to the dump. Susan swept and organized the garage while I was gone. Tomorrow is supposed to be a cold day, temp in the teens with a chance of snow, so I just got back from running to Blockbuster to rent a few movies. Thought it would be nice to huddle up under some blankets tomorrow and watch movies all day. My ex wife took the kids down to Florida for a few days for a pre-Christmas visit to her family. I talked to T this morning and they were on their way to Disney's Animal Kingdom. I am sure they will have a blast, but I will miss them. They will be home next Thursday night in time for Christmas.

I don't think I have ever mentioned on here before, but Susan has an ex boss at work that she hates with a passion. He was responsible for pushing her from one job, that she loved, onto another job that she has had a hard time adjusting too. This guy is a real jerk. He has been accused of sexual harassment before and has a lot of negative crap in his file. Susan had to write up a multi page description of the injustice he handed out to her back during the job switch up that he initiated. Well, it seems that she found out yesterday that his firing is looking like a definite. The inner office gossip suggests that he has pissed off his last person and made his last big mistake and will be pushed out the door very soon. Little did I know, but Susan drove home last night feeling happier (and hornier) than she has in a while. When she walked in I was sitting here busy at my desk still (6:30pm) working like a frantic dog. She called me into the laundry room where she was getting changed from her dress clothes. When I walked in she practically attacked me; kissing, holding and fondling me like a mad woman. I got her out of her bra and we kissed our way to the bedroom where we both stripped down and climbed into bed. I was rock hard and she was soaking wet. The arousal conditions were perfect, as I slid between her legs, to allow my cock to slide home without any guidance of any kind. Isn't that great when things just work out that way? The two parts just connect with no hands being necessary to aid in the insertion. It didn't take long, maybe two minutes, and she was moaning in orgasm. A few more minutes later I pulled out and warmed her stomach and chest with a good 1/4 cup of cum. Well maybe not exactly that much, but it felt like it! Sometime quickies are okay, especially when they are fueled with such passion. Damn, wish more of the people she doesn't like at work would get the axe!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

Memories of Spring Break....

2004-12-16T07:13:00.000-06:00

If it is cold where you are, as it is here, maybe this little game will mentally take you back to the beach...or at least entertain you for a little while....

warning: Playing can be addictive!

Mid Week Report...

2004-12-15T18:12:00.000-06:00

Well there isn't too awful much to report, but I figured I should write something. So let's see....

This has been a very busy week, work wise. I have been trying to get a lot of junk done to finish out the year. Thursday and Friday will be equally busy, then I will screw off next week! Ha! Actually, I am only working Monday and Tuesday next week...so it should be pretty stress free, I hope!

Today I had a nice meeting with a customer and then took them to lunch afterwards. There is a new restaurant in town, R.J. Gators, and it's pretty good. I had me some gator tail for the first time in about six years. It was pretty good, and of course it tastes like chicken! The rest of the day has been busy, busy so I haven't been able to keep up with many of my favorite blog reads! I promise to get to your sites and check them out soon!

Thanks for all the great comments about the "father and daughter" moment from Monday. I truly love being a Dad, it's the greatest thing in the world. So many of you said some great things, and I regret that I haven't been able to thank you all personally. Again...it's been a hellish week! But, thanks for your kind words/thoughts/memories/experiences, etc.

I have made yet another new friend. Damn, didn't I mention a few days ago how awesome this blogger community is? Well, I was sent some interesting offline messages from someone who was concerned about the security of my site. It seemed I was, unbeknownst to me, sharing some secret info here on my blog. Well, being the computer igmo that I am I wasn't aware that with a simple right click you could have become privy to my full name. She helped me fix my problem and now I feel safer. Thanks to my new friend Martine from The Netherlands! And the world becomes even smaller....

Yep, I know you might be thinking, "Today is Hump Day...wonder if ole Chuckie is gonna get him some tonight?" Well, I got me a quickie last night. Susan has tonsillitis, so I am doubting the little monster will get it's work out tonight. Well, unless I take things into my own hands!

Let me get through this busy week and I will be back with y'all. Have a good one!

My Sweet Daughter, The Good EX Husband (again) and a Scott Peterson Foot Fetish...

2004-12-13T17:38:00.000-06:00

I love being a Dad. Just about twenty minutes ago I was driving home after picking up my daughter from her math tutoring. I was doing as usual, singing along to a song on a CD ('Just Another Day In Paradise', by Phil Vassar) and when it was over I turned the CD down and said to T, "Just think, someday you will be all grown up and you will think back to all the times your old Dad used to sing to you in the car." She smiled and I turned the stereo back up just in time for 'Sweet Home Alabama'. I had to sing along to this one, what Alabamian in his or her right mind wouldn't, and half way through....right around the part about how "Birmingham loves the Governor"...I looked over and noticed she had her head down and her hair was blocking me from seeing her face. I turned the song down, and asked what was wrong? She looked up, then looked away out the window and said, "Nothing." When she had looked up I noticed that her eyes were filled with tears. I pressed, "What is it honey?" She kept saying that it was nothing. I asked her if someone had been mean to her today? Had a teacher got on to her? Was she sad about a grade? She answered no to all of these. Finally she looked at me and said, "I just don't want to grow up too fast and leave you." God, that touched my heart. Of course me, the big Pus, started tearing up too and I said, "Hey you have quite a few years before you have to worry about that. When you move away from me it will be to go to college, and trust me...you will want to be away from me then!" I also told her, "But even when you are grown up you will always have a "home" with Dad and Susan to come home to." That seemed to make her feel better and then we were home. She really is a sweet girl.

Today I was, yet a again, the Good Ex Husband. On the way back from a customer meeting I stopped off at the ex's apartment, at her request, and helped her hang a few heavy mirrors and to put the kid's bunk beds together. This is the third place she has lived in in the past twenty months, she was kicked out of the other two due to not paying rent. So, for the third time I went and helped her do the things she couldn't do herself. She told me some disturbing things about her affair with the married therapist/pastor guy, but maybe that will be junk for another post.

Today when I got home I went online and checked out some of the ways folks are finding my site. Thanks to Chris's suggestion I have installed a new site meter on my blog. It was interesting to find that someone came to my blog by googling "Scott Peterson Foot Fetish". Damn, scary to think of what they were hoping to find!

Have a good Monday evening!

Now This Is Freaky....

2004-12-13T11:51:00.000-06:00

My daughter found this little ditty on one of her favorite websites. Click here and check it out. It took me a couple tries to figure out the trick, but it was fun while the illusion lasted.

My Friend Cissy's Blog.....

2004-12-12T23:48:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine, someone I actually know in person, has started her own blog. She is totally new to this, but became interested after reading mine, as well as a lot of you on my links. She reads many of you daily, so you all need to go check her out, and let her know you stopped by.

Go say hey to Cissy....the net needs more Alabama bloggers!

Saturday Shopping With The Family. A facial and "3"....

2004-12-11T22:27:00.000-06:00

Today started out with just me, Susan and my daughter T, but changed due to my ex (FA) deciding she can't keep L today/tonight due to an emotional emergency. It would seem some shit has hit the fan in the soap opera that is her life. The affair she is having with a married minister/psychologist has been discovered, and now she is being kicked out of the church. Maybe I will post more about this later, or maybe not.

Anyway, the three of us went and picked up L from FA's apartment and then the four of us headed to the mall. First of all, let me say that going to the mall with only 13 shopping days till Christmas isn't such a good idea. Especially this mall, as it is huge and services a big chunk of central Alabama, and especially at noon on a Saturday. The place was PACKED out! It took me 35 minutes just to find a parking place. It was terribly crazy, and being there was certainly not my thing. But we went anyway. Susan had been wanting to get T some new makeup, as well as get her ears re-pierced, plus we wanted to get each other a couple gifts for Christmas.

Susan got T set up at the Clinique counter at Proffits for her second facial in the past five months. As the make-up lady finished showing T how to administer her make-up she turned to Susan and said, "Next time you both you, and your daughter, should come see me and I will give you a facial as well." I leaned in and whispered into Susan's ear, "I will give you the only facial you need later, baby." She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the sales lady. We left the cosmetic area with $86 worth of make up and cleansers, which I still think is too much for an eleven year old, and continued to shop around the store. I got to pick me out a few Christmas gifts, and we left Proffits and went to the ear piercing place. They were packed out with only one girl working, so we soon realized that getting her ears re-pierced wasn't going to happen today. We worked our way out of the crowded mall and back to the car. Thirty minutes later we were able to exit the mall and get back on the main road. God how I hate traffic and crowds. We all went and had a late lunch at a nice restaurant, then came on home.

Once home, the kids went up stairs to watch t.v. and Susan and I retired to our bedroom to take a little nap. But before joining her in bed to nap, I began to feel a little tingle in the boxers. I walked over to her side of the bed and leaned over and began kissing her. After a few minutes of kissing she asked me what it was I was wanting. Did I want to "do it" now, or wait till later tonight? I responded by reaching into the slit in my boxers and pulling out my cock. I continued to stand there next to her, while she was propped up against the pillows on the bed, and I told her to lay down and put her head near the edge of the bed. Once she had done this, I placed my semi hard cock in her mouth, leaned over, and began fucking her face. Her mouth felt so good. Her hands on my balls felt good too. She did quite a number sucking on my growing "buddy". Although it had been my intention to just get a hard on and then get down to business between her legs, I became overwhelmed with the feeling of the oral attention. She was quite the trooper sucking me, and I leaned over and began to rub her pussy through her panties. As she got more into it, putting a lot of attention into her sucking, it occurred to me that maybe I should grab hold of this opportunity and finish the deed here, in her mouth...or on her face.

My declaration to her earlier about the "facial" came back to me, and that thought was all I needed. I pulled out of her mouth, took hold of my cock and began jacking it. She realized what was happening and said, "No...", but I didn't let that stop me. I asked, "Please...just this once." I continued to stroke it over her face, and she said, "Okay...". That was all I needed. My breathing became heavier and she, realizing the moment was at hand, opened her mouth and I let loose. I shot the first two bursts into her mouth, then continued with a shot to her left cheek (and the pillow), her upper lip, her nose, and her chin. Wow! It was awesome.....for me. For her, uh...not so awesome. As I shook the last drop of man juice out of my cock, and onto her chin, I couldn't help but notice she was still laying there with her mouth open and those first two shots of cum still on her tongue. Once I was done she said something that sounded like, "Grrrr thaaaa towwlllll!!!" I realized she was wanting me to get a towel, so I slipped into the bathroom and came back out to wipe off her face and allow her to spit. I must have took too long because she swallowed the load before I got back. I asked her how it felt/tasted and she informed me it was terrible! I can't say I can blame her. But she took it all, like a champ, and made me feel special...along the way. Thanks, baby....I sure do love you!

Tonight, after T and I went to buy a few groceries, Susan and I settled in to watch the ESPN original motion picture, "3: The Dale Earnhardt Story". Gosh damn...what a good movie! For those of you who live outside the US, or even outside the South, you may not realize the impact NASCAR plays in the lives of so many. I will be the first to say that I am not a really big fan. Hell I am not even a small fan. I have never been able to get into a sport where, guys race cars and do nothing but make constant left turns around a track. But I know there are butt loads of people who do get into it, and I know that there is a lot of boob flashing at the races, so I figure it must be a somewhat decent sport! Well this movie about the life of Dale Earnhardt is excellent! Again, for those of you who know nothing about NASCAR, the #3 was his car number, thus the title of the movie. Dale was killed in a crash during the last lap of the Daytona race in 2001. He is still considered a god in many parts of the United States. The movie is a great story, and even if you are not a NASCAR fan, I would recommend you watch or rent it (it will be released on DVD on 12/14).

Well that is about it for tonight...Hope you all are having a nice weekend!

SIX Months....

2004-12-09T22:27:00.000-06:00

I couldn't sleep tonight so I thought I would attempt to slap down a post for today. When I got here it occurred to me that I have been at this blog thing for almost six months now...half a year. Wow. I never thought that I would keep up with it this long. At first it was just an experiment, a way to talk about my unique new marriage, my kids, my life and my (ex) first marriage. I thought I would post a little, and then it would die out, but I never expected the unexpected. If someone would have told me back in July that I would have the kind of experience I have had I would have laughed in their face. I never imagined, in a thousand years, that I would make such good friends with people I have never met. This "blog world" is really an incredible community. I guess Greg, with his neighborhood post today, got me to thinking. The people in my ring of "blogdom contact" are really like folks next door, or the friend down the street. There are some of you I know pretty well, and others I am just beginning to get to know. I find happiness in being able to communicate with many of you, whether it be on the phone, via instant messenger or in e-mail. There are even a few of you that I am hoping to get to meet in person some day. The really cool thing is that this list grows daily, and the opportunity to make new friends is pretty much unlimited!

I started my counter back on September 23 and tonight I noticed I have exceeded 8,000 visits since that day. Thank you for visiting my little space on the net, and thank you for allowing me to get so wrapped up in your lives , thanks to your little space on the net. I appreciate, as well, your comments and input into the daily events of my life. I only hope I have been able to give back a little of what you have given me.

In the past few days I have begun to get to know so many more of you, and I am excited to think about the unknown folks out there that I have yet to stumble upon. This Blog World is pretty cool, don't you think?

2004-12-08T17:40:00.000-06:00

Anyone looking for a nice blouse for your lady? Want to find that perfect Christmas gift? Here is a nice link....be sure to click on the pics so you can get a good impression of the quality of the shirts for sale. Thanks Shumpdawg!

Happy Chanukah!

2004-12-08T17:12:00.000-06:00

To all my Jewish readers, I hope you have a swell celebration of light!

Well, I am glad to see all the positive response from me posting my virtual model. I know it's hard to believe that I am so mouth dropping hot, but it is true. Hey, when you got it you just have to flaunt it....okay, making myself sick now.

I promise not to post in German again, so as to not give the Good Wife anymore headaches. It was fun though. I did actually take German for two years in college. I had a great prof. who was actually gay. My buddy and I used to sit on the front row and by accident our genitals would sometimes peek from the leg of our shorts. He and I both made straight C's the whole time and hardly ever had to study. Hmmm, wonder why? Sucked in the winter months....then we would have to crack the text book!

Today I had to take both kids to the dentist. The check ups were good. No cavities! Can't say the same thing for my wife...she went last week and had EIGHT cavities. Damn, woman, why don't you brush your teeth sometime? Actually she does, her cavities are caused from sucking on Wint-O-Mints. She used to have an unholy addiction to those things and would go through a bag full a day sometimes.

You know, one of the best things I have found by blogging is the nice circle of friends I have gained in the process. You all know about many of them (they have been guest bloggers), but there have been a few more lately who's blogs I have discovered and who I sometimes chat with on Yahoo Messenger. RockyMt.Red is one. She has an interesting blog and is an interesting conversationalist. Murmurs is another. Whew! Wish I had known girls like her when I was 18 and in college. She writes some good stuff, some of which isn't work friendly! Then there is Jerry...she's a nurse who has an exciting life working in a big time E.R. Finally there is Shumpy. He has a very cool blog layout, although his German leaves much to be desired!

Hope everyone has a nice Hump Day....I am banking on some HD relief tonight myself.....five days is much too long to wait!

2004-12-06T17:46:00.000-06:00

Okay, I have given in and decided to do this "virtual model" thing. Yep, this is me....sexy huh? Add some hair on the chest and stomach and put a considerable bulge in the crotch and you have yours truely! Oh, yeah....the feet are much larger in real life too.

Gefühl Deprimiert am Montag....

2004-12-06T14:17:00.000-06:00

Ich habe Regen satt! Es hat jetzt seit zwei Tagen geregnet, und ich muss ein Sonnenlicht sehen. Es tut viel nicht, um Depression loszuwerden.

Dieses Wochenende war nicht ein für die Rekordbücher. Susan und ich gaben den grössten Teil des Samstags und des am Sonntag Argumentierens aus. Sie ist mit vielen Aspekten unserer Ehe nicht glücklich, und sie hat es in so vielen Wörtern bekannt sein lassen. Ich bin nicht sicher, was von unserer Ehe kommen wird, aber ich sicher hoffe, dass wir Dinge ausarbeiten können. Ich werde fortsetzen, der beste Mann zu sein, ich kann sein und hoffen, dass sie begreifen wird, wie viel wir gemeint werden, um zusammen zu sein. Ich will sie nie verlieren, aber das unveränderliche Meckern wird alt.

Oh so, werden wir sehen....
Hoffnung jeder hat einen besseren am Montag, dass ich bin.

2004-12-04T23:14:00.000-06:00

I have been sitting here for the past thirty minutes reading a very interesting blog. The Diary From Baghdad is written by a young married Iraqi woman who has some very powerful things to say about her county, the war, and day to day activity in Baghdad. If you have a chance, check her blog out.

Attention Chuck-Mart Shoppers....

2004-12-04T16:35:00.000-06:00

Well, I would count the yardsale as a success. Susan and I got out there at 6:30am yesterday and today and set out all our wares (our used crap) on the driveway in the cold. We made right at $315.00 for our efforts. Not much, but a nice addition to the income. A little extra cash will come in handy this time of the year. The highlight of the sale was when I sold a $400.00 Dooney and Burke purse for $3.00. Oh, well you live and learn. Guess it made somebody pretty happy.

This afternoon I have raked leaves and bagged up two bags full, and cut the grass for the last time this year. Tomorrow Susan and I are going to do a little Christmas shopping for each other. We have already bought the kids all their presents, and now its time to buy a little something for ourselves as well as our parents/sisters.

The SEC conference game begins in about ten minutes so I had better get myself in there to watch. Tennessee versus Auburn.....GO VOLS!!!

Edit (10:19pm): It was a courageous attempt at a comeback. The game was even tied for a bit, but it wasn't meant to be for my Tennessee Vols. They lost by 10. I could use some cheering up...ladies feel free to send pictures of your boobies!

Yard Sale Hell and Lying Kids....

2004-12-01T22:13:00.000-06:00

Well we are finally going to do it. For months now we have been collecting a huge pile of crap up in our guest bedroom. Stuff that we no longer want; clothes, toys, shoes, house hold crap, etc and Friday and Saturday we are going to set it all up outside and try to make a few extra bucks. We have actually been talking about having one for months now, but never could motivate ourselves to actually get it out there and do it. Monday Susan called and put the ad in the paper to run this Friday and Saturday, so I guess it has to happen now. Yep, I am sure I will be the one stuck out there the most haggling with the droves of people who like to attend these horrid events. Ya'll come on by. I'll make you a deal on a sweet pair of Dr. Martens.

In other news, my son lied to me for the first time tonight. He had taken a crayon and scribbled on his TV and on the stand holding his TV. My daughter, T, told me about it, and when I confronted him about it he blamed it on his sister. I had him follow me into the guest bedroom (yardsalejunkroom) and I sat down on the bed with him standing before me. I asked him again if he did it. He said no. I again asked if he didn't do it, then who did? This time he looked me in the eye and said, "T's kitty did it." Yep, he actually blamed it on a cat. A cat who hasn't set foot in the house in over a year. In the grand tradition of "this will hurt me more than you", I took him over my knee, pulled down his sweatpants and slapped that booty. After the second spank he grabbed himself and pleaded to be allowed to go pee. This is usually his excuse when he first sits down at the table and finds he doesn't like what is on his plate. I have begun to think that this bathroom break is actually him taking a little time out to psyche himself up for the task at hand. So, once he was done in the bathroom I brought him back into the guest room and again asked who wrote on the TV. He once again fell back on "the kitty did it" excuse. I said, "Are you sure? Now don't lie to me son." He responded with a somewhat convincing "yes sir", so I pulled him back over my knee and before I could get the britches half way down he confessed up. I let him go with the promise that he would never again lie to me, and that he wouldn't draw on anything, other than paper, again. Wow, what drama!

Now if only I can get the same obedience out of Susan. Maybe she would respond with a spanking every now and then. What do you think?

Kids Say Some Funny Crap.....

2004-11-29T22:07:00.000-06:00

Have any of you seen those three liter bottles of "St. Nick's Cranberry Soda" they sell at Wal-Mart? It's made by Shasta and has a big picture of Santa Claus of the front of it and the soda is as red as Santa's coat. Well Susan bought some for the kids the other day. My four year old son L has been enjoying it but he said the strangest thing this morning when he asked for some. He stood there looking at the big red bottle for a few moments staring at the Santa pic, pointed to it, turned to me and asked,

"Can I have some Santa blood, please?"

I had to make him repeat it a couple times, couldn't believe I had heard correctly. We both got a big laugh out of it. Where did he come up with that??

Back At Home.....

2004-11-28T15:37:00.000-06:00

The Thanksgiving trip was nice. We had a okay Turkey Day meal with many of my family from my Mother's side. Was great to see everyone and have Susan meet them, but much of the meal wasn't much to write home about. Not that the food wasn't any good, its just that my family is so large, and the food is served buffet style, so if you're not first in line you may miss out on some of the goodies. Susan and I concluded that salt must not have been used in 70% of the cooking. There was much blandness in many of the dishes. But like I said, it was good seeing family. My Grandmother is 84 now, and I hadn't seen her in a little over a year. She and I have always been close. Since my Mother was 17 when she gave birth to me, I spent a lot of my early years with her parents, my Granny and Grandaddy. Grandaddy died in '91 and I am glad that I was there to be with him as he took his last breath. It is sad to think that Granny won't be with us forever. Just hard to imagine when I look at that sweet little woman. I love her so much!

We had a great time spent with Susan's sister and her husband and kids. They have a beautiful home there in the same Georgia town where we were having my family gathering. The In-laws headed to S.C. to spend Thanksgiving with his family and let Susan and I crash at their house while they were away. Susan's sister suggested we try out their hot tub for sex, and we decided to give it a whirl (get it? Whirl, is in pool? Okay....). Never being one for "water sex", it didn't go too well, but we finished what we started later in a more drier environment.

Friday night the In-laws returned from their trip to South Carolina and we all had a awesome time talking, drinking and eating. Their three kids and our two also had fun watching movies and playing video games. This was really the first time we had all been together since being married, they married earlier this year, and it was great getting to know each other. I see many more fun family times in the future, if Susan and I stay married. Saturday morning we drove the three hour trip back to Birmingham, and spent most of the rest of the day watching the rain and doing laundry.

Oh yeah, Friday was my 36th birthday. Had it not been for my Mother and Aunt I doubt anyone would have recognized it. Sucks when so many who are close to you couldn't give a shit. Not that I was wanting gifts or a cake, I am well past that, it would just have been nice to be made to feel a little special. God, I feel OLD! Hey, at least my ex wife remembered, and wished me BD greetings on the phone Thursday night. Today is her birthday....happy BD FA!

Susan and I have tomorrow off, then it is back to the grind stone once again. I have a lot of things to get done, work wise, before everything pretty much shuts down for Christmas. If my posting isn't too frequent, just know that I am busy making the big bucks! LOL

Came across a few blogs lately that are good reading. Check them out sometime when you get a chance and tell 'em Chuck sent you! I also have them linked over there on the left side of the page, they are the bottom eight.

Later ya'll.....

"Over the river and through the woods...."

2004-11-23T18:08:00.000-06:00

Time to head to Grandma's for Thanksgiving. Mmmmm, can't wait to eat, although my wife informed me last night that I am getting fat so I guess I will have to take it easy on the turkey and dressing. Bummer.....but I could stand to lose a few pounds. Susan, the kids and I are leaving tomorrow morning and heading over to Georgia where we will be having Thanksgiving dinner with about thirty other family members all of whom have never met Susan. She is looking forward to it, yeah right! Susan's sister, her husband, step kids and son happen to also live in the same town where my family is having our reunion, so we will be spending time there with them some too. I am looking forward to getting away, just hate to have to get back on the road again. We're only staying till Saturday morning. Once we get home we both have Monday off, so we'll have a few days to rest and recuperate.

Well, I hope everyone had a nice weekend. We did, although it rained like a bitch pretty much the whole time. Susan and I got in some good lovin since we hadn't seen each other for a week. Friday night I pulled out and busted a major nut all over her stomach. Shot all the way up to her chin!! Whooo Hooo!! Reckon I had me a gallon stored up all week. You talk about serious nut gravy....too bad she didn't have some biscuits then she could have sopped it all up. (TMI??) Then Saturday night we again had us some real HOT knockin of the boots, although we weren't wearing boots. Spent most of Saturday watching football, although we did get out and do a little Christmas shopping. Stopped off at one of our favorite places for a couple Margarittas, got a buzz on, then went to Target and spent a lot more than we should have. Last time this happened we ended up buying a steam cleaner, which, by the way, I haven't seen in a while since I loaned it to a fellow blogger. About a year ago she and I went out to dinner and drank too much, we ended up at Lowes where we purchased a 9 1/2' artificial Christmas tree for $400. Bottom line, we shouldn't mix happy hour with shopping time. Oh yeah, the tree has been up now for a week. Looks mightly festive around my house.

I hate to report that my daughter's hamster died at some point on Friday. Marco, the hamster, was one of her birthday gifts back in August. She cried for a little while, but got over it since she had a friend here spending the night. I stuck old Marco in a ziplock bag and then Saturday morning we had us a little funeral. He was buried in his baggy out in one of the flower beds on the side yard. Can't wait to see Susan's face next spring when she digs it up while planting flowers!! My son L wasn't home this weekend, he spent it with his Mom, so he wasn't here for the funeral. Today he asked what had happened to T's hamster. I told him that he had died cause he was sick and that he was in heaven with the other pets who die. He thought about it for a moment then said, "When the moon comes out will T's hamster come out of the ground and be a zombie?" I couldn't help but laugh....damn cartoons! He then asked if the hamster was, "in the ground with his pillow and his blankie?" What a precious kid! God, I love him!

So that's about all that's been going on here lately. Has been raining now for three days, off and on. Starting to get a little depressed. Need some sunlight like I had in San Diego last week. Oh, and some strippers too. Uh, not that I did anything with the strippers mind you.

Ya'll have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!! And be safe if you have to travel.

Edit 10:45pm: Susan came home tonight and informed me she had purchased a $72.00 bottle of shampoo!! What? Is her hair made of spun gold or something?? When I questioned her she said she was unaware of the price and when they rung it up she "about shit in her pants" (her words) but was too embarrassed to tell them she didn't want it. She has since let me know that she plans on returning it next week. Good....hell I feel guilty if I buy a sausage biscuit at McDonalds in the morning with out asking her....I guess she doesn't feel the same way.

WOW! What Capable Hands I Have Left My Blog...

2004-11-19T17:57:00.000-06:00

... in this week! How about the past five days for some good ole blog entertainment. My friends have made great use of my little corner of cyber space in my absence and I almost dread having to get back to posting my boring drivel again. The bar has been raised here at Marriage Made On-Line and I doubt I can reach up that far.

I would like to thank Sparkey, Buddha Bubba, One Single Mom, Stuck For Now, and The Good Husband for creating such humorous, interesting and true works of art. OSM's mention of my impressive manhood, Sparkey's story of my adventures with strangers, Bubba's ode to my third favorite ejaculative receptacle and Stucks nice words about us Southerners all had me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Now as for GH's observations....it feels so liberating to have the truth be known. I owe him a debt too high to pay for revealing what I have for so long wanted to say!

Seriously though guys, thanks for your attention to my blog. I never imagined, when I put the call out, that I would have received such a quality response. I am not the only one who has noticed this either. Since Sunday I have had right at around 1010 visitors to my blog! That is pretty good when you consider I usually only get around 50 to 75 hits a day!

Now, back to my week....

My Trip To California/Mexico

San Diego is a beautiful place, although I think I would get tired of all the sun and warm weather year round. We stayed in a beautiful resort out on the island and had an interesting and informative National Sales Meeting. I even was awarded for my sales performance at the Awards Dinner Tuesday night. I have the highest percentage over quota (over 117%) than anyone else in the field sales force. Got to walk up on stage, receive a nice plaque and check, all to the thunderous applause of my colleagues. Kind of makes a feller feel kind of good.

The highlight would have to have been Wednesday. After 1:00pm it was activity day. You could choose deep sea fishing, sailing, spa treatment or "day on your own". I chose to tag along with about eight other guys for a trip to Tijuana. I had never been out of the country before and desperately wanted to be able to say that I have been somewhere outside the U.S. before I die. But my bubble was busted the next day when my friend from Oklahoma said, "Chuck you are not an international traveler when you can actually walk to the foreign country your visiting."

Well, lets just say I am glad I went cause I have NO desire to visit that place again as long as I live. If I ever go to Mexico again it will be to some fancy resort in Cozumel or some place similar. I have had my fill of the touristy border towns and I have only been to one of them. I thought New Orleans was a hive of debauchery until I went to TJ.

With that being said, let me fill you in on all the fun I had! We were there for about 10 hours and we probably spent 9 of those hours in strip clubs. These strip clubs are unlike any I have ever been to in the U.S. First of all everything is negotiable. From the cost of the beer to the "services" offered by the young ladies. As you walked in and find a seat you are greeted by a sexy, half naked young lady who would say, in broken english, "Lapdance, two songs for $10, three songs for $15. Blow job for $20, sex for $50." The whole time they would be stroking your crotch or putting your hands on their boobs. I was DISGUSTED, let me tell you! Had it not been for my perverted friends I would have left straight away. So, anyway....more than a $100 dollars later I was ready to call it a night. Me and the guys, there were only four of us left by this time, grabbed a cab back to the border and proceeded to walk to the customs place and back into America. About 100 yards from the good old U S of A one of my co-workers, G, decided he couldn't wait to relieve his bladder and seeing that we were in a dark alley way he decided to do so next to a trash can. We were about 20 yards in front of him by the time we realized he wasn't with us and we turned to see him talking to four people who looked to be in uniform. Sure enough it was the dreaded Mexican Police. As we walked back towards him I noticed him being grabbed and him trying to pull away. The next thing we knew they had him on the ground trying to get his hands twisted around to his back. One of them kept asking me, in broken english, "Senior pleeze say to friend to calm it." I told G to take it easy, and that we would stay with him. They got him to his feet, hands tightly cuffed, and his jeans proceeded to fall down to his ankles. I guess all the scruffing loosened his belt. What really pissed me off was when the female "cop" began to laugh at him as he was standing there in his tighty whities. He asked for them to pull up his pants and all they managed to do was pull them up in front, partially, and walked him off with his ass exposed. I asked, and was given permission to pull them up the rest of the way for him. Hey, what are friends for?

They walked him to this little glass enclosed "office" place while they proceeded to act as if they were making calls and awaiting a car to come pick him up. I asked what would happen next and the one who spoke passable english informed us that he would be taken before a judge and the fine would be around $200. Then he would have to be held for 36 hours since he had "resisted arrest." We were floored, not believing that this, what everyone had joked us would happen, was happening. After a few minutes the "officer" pulled aside the oldest one in our group B and had a conversation with him. Once they were done B came over to the other two of us and told us to walk with him across the street for a minute. Once there, he informed us that the officer said he would let G go if we gave him all the money we had. We were floored, but I guess in a way we expected it. We checked our fundage and found that between the three of us we had $80, keeping aside my last $30 for the cab ride back to the hotel. He walked back over to the cop and had a conversation. Three minutes later he returned and said the cop wanted more, but B had told him that was all we had. He didn't know what was going to happen. With that we heard G walking towards us yelling, "The fuckers took my fifty dollar bill from my wallet." We were like dude, shut up before they nab you again! After they had cuffed him earlier they had removed his wallet and at some point had taken the $50 bill but left the two singles he had. Nice folks, huh? Jeeze, they were the exact definition of "corrupt cops"! You hear the stories about the police south of the border but I never thought I would see it first hand. I tell you what, at $130 dollars that was the most expensive piss I have ever heard about! We laughed about it all the way in the cab back to the hotel. Man, what a night! Strippers, whores and crooked cops! Got to love Tijuana!

Yesterday, going through security at San Diego airport, I had to walk through this new security thingy. It is like the standard detectors in every airport but it had doors that closed in front of you and bursts of air shoot up from the floor over your body. Once it was done, the doors didn't open and I heard the attendant holler for a supervisor. I was ushered out and over to the ex-ray belt and told to point out my property, but not touch any of it. Once this was done I was taken over to the side and told, by a small hispanic man, that he was going to be touching all over my body, including my "sensitive areas", but he would use the back of his hand when he did so. I stood there and enjoyed being felt up (not) and once he was done I said, "What? I don't get a kiss?" He didn't appreciate the comment. After my property was searched and nothing was found I asked the supervisor what the deal was. He told me that I had tested positive for a substance used in making bombs by suicide bombers. I shook my head and said, "Well I have been depressed lately, but not that depressed." He gave me a polite smile and thanked me for my time.

I flew out around 1:30 and landed safely in Birmingham at 9:07 last night. Glad to be home. Looking forward to relaxing this weekend and eating anything but Mexican food! Hope you all have a good weekend too....

Sorry for the long post.

Chuck online...

2004-11-19T08:38:00.000-06:00

Well, today is Friday and Chuck's going to be coming back soon. Look at what has happened while he's been gone. All of his readers have found out about his dishrag, the self-sucking, his first French kiss and now about his fetish with dogs; poor guy. If it wasn't so much fun being invited to be a guest blogger here, I'd almost feel sorry for him. However, he did send me a lot of links to midget porn, so I can't really feel sorry for the guy.

In any case, yesterday Sparkey took this blog to a very well written new low, and I feel that the challenge is mine to figure out a way to cross that line. Unfortunately, I'm working hard today and I don't have Sparkey's ability for the well written erotica. Instead, I'll have to come up with something else. I guess the best thing for me to do is to document a few of Chuck's other online interests. I mean, you don't really think that writing a blog is the only outlet for this man's considerable talents do you?

I bet you never knew that Chuck has written a number of 'how to' web sites about some of his more interesting hobbies. Take for example this 'how to' web site that Chuck wrote after spending a summer working at a marine life institute on Florida's coast. Note the delicate sensitivity that Chuck shares for the post-coital experience:

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you.

What a man!

In addition to his interests in mammals, both those who walk into his yard while Sue is shopping with her mother and those who swim up to him, Chuck is also known for his culinary skills in the kitchen. On occasion, when the mood strikes him or if he's cooking up a meal for his boss, Chuck will find a recipe from his favorite cooking community online. Note that a number of the dishes on the site have been reviewed by Chuck; although mostly he seems to just say 'Yummy!'

While the hypnotism has helped with his activities of a solo oral type, it hasn't stopped him from using what doesn't make it into the dishrag for some of his favorite meals. For the past few days Chuck has been saving his stuff for a Thanksgiving meal that no one is sure to forget. He always makes his side dish of Cumberry Sauce and for desert the family always enjoys Chuck's Candy Cum Pecans.

Initially Sue and the kids were not fond of Chuck's 'secret ingredient' that he would furiously add to every dish. Thank goodness for Chuck's mother stepping in. Apparently Chuck's habit was something that his mother encouraged and when Sue complained to her new mother-in-law about the constant taste of her man in their meals, dear old Mom bought her a suppy of this stuff. Now Chuck's bounty makes a pleasing addition to almost any meal. He uses it like seasoning now and on occasion, he will even add his favorite flavor to dishes served in restaurants.

Chuck's other food and beverage related online interest, maybe interest isn't the right word here; better to say that the majority of what Chuck purchases on the web comes from this German beverage site. Every month Chuck buys cases of this stuff to assure that he never runs out. It is not just the drink that Chuck enjoys; there's the bottle too. After drinking his morning load Chuck likes to lie back on the bed and enjoy the tubular packaging in a way that was only recently illegal in his home state of Alabama. As German is not a language that Chuck speaks, he just refers to the drink as his morning pick-me-up-and-bend-me-over-and-make-me-moan.

A few years back Chuck and I met each other, as I detailed in my Monday post. Our meetings, at the chronic masturbators anonymous group in LA, the one that met in the Mormon Tabernacle and not the one that meets at the Neverland Ranch (although Chuck went to that one too), would occasionally include some of the activity that we were trying to prevent. Sometimes some one would share a technique with others and demonstrations were not uncommon. Chuck was particularly interested in the equipment I was bringing to the club; with most of his attention being focused on my foreskin. You understand, Chuck's father was circumcised as an infant and he insisted that Chuck go under the knife too (actually, Chuck's mother did it at home when he was 12).

The good news is, now years later Chuck is working on restoring this missing part of his person. If you were to check his browser history you would find frequent visits to sites that teach men how to regain their lost love glove.

So there is a pretty decent history of Chuck's online interests. Most of the sites I linked to are found daily in his browser history. I do hope that once again you don't think any less of Chuck for his interests. Remember, not everyone is just like you and the best way to enjoy your life is to appreciate the differences between people.

Yours as a guest blogger,

The Good Husband

The Silent Stranger

2004-11-17T21:34:00.000-06:00

Here's a little short story brought to you by another of Chuck's guest bloggers, little miss Sparkey herself. Hope you enjoy, and I know it's long - bear with me.

The Silent Stranger

Chuck was visiting with Susan and her family in Tennessee over the Labor Day weekend. Staying with family is taxing, of course - limited privacy, familiarizing yourself with unfamiliar people and their ever more unfamiliar habits; but, on Sunday, he found himself with a solitary afternoon. Home-away-from-home alone, Susan and her mother out shopping, the father wrapped up in a church Deacon’s meeting liable to last into the night.

At his own home in Alabama, Chuck is alone much of the day working, and has become accustomed to hours-long stretches of quiet in which to reflect. Naturally, he decided to stay in and reclaim some of the privacy and solitude lost.

He sat on the front porch with a glass of coke and vodka; the air was warm, the lush scenery stunning and peaceful in its own right. Something about the color green, the scent of the pines, soothes the soul and calms the mind; everyone wonders why rural occupants are so accustomed to spending hours on their porch, in their graceful yet crudely fashioned rocking chairs and porch swings. They imagine it so quaint; in truth, they lack the knowledge, the understanding of the restful nature of such simple activity; the thrill of the occasional cool breeze, the still sounds of nature unbroken except for the occasional passing car. The automobile occupants always look up with a smile and a wave, friendly because we are all related, we all share commonalities. We all understand the simple nature and the simple pleasures, the joy of time away without thought. City people go to the Carribean for these pleasures; they go skiing in Colorado; they invest time and effort into meditation and other trendy borrowed practices; they don’t know that millions every day capture the same sensations gazing across their front lawns, rocking slowly and sipping a cool drink.

Time passes. How much, he doesn’t know, he’s not wearing his watch, and in any case, time is irrelevant. He begins to drift off slightly, lulled by the rhythmic sounds of the chirping birds and the wind through the tall grass. A breeze catches in the sweat formed at the base of his neck, chilling him fleetingly, snapping him back to full consciousness. He looks up, around, and then he sees her.

She’s walking slowly down the street, head tilted slightly downward, pausing occasionally to look out across the fields, the silhouette of the mountain shadowing the horizon. She’s beautiful; her glossy brown hair catches the brilliant afternoon sunlight, throwing off a hundred points of reflective light like a diamond. As she approaches from the distance, Chuck watchers her closely, entranced. Her innocence, her depth of spirit and lust for life is apparent in her slow gait, in her occasional pauses for reflection. Suddenly he finds her directly in front of him, still along the side of the crude, pitted, oil-topped road; how did she get there so quickly? Had he been watching, intently, so long? The stirring in his pants is insistent, he drops his hand and adjusts carefully, his own touch sending chills up his spine.

As if on cue, she glances over. Her large, brown eyes glisten in the light. She looks almost as if she has been crying, but there is no other evidence of tears. She begins to walk slowly toward him, needing no command, no call. Chuck is not surprised; her demeanor suggests such action in the face of vulnerability, such fearlessness on her part; she is enamored of the world, of existence, why shouldn’t all of mankind be enamored of her as well? She approaches with the quiet confidence of a goddess.

Sitting on the chair no longer seems appropriate. Chuck stands, placing his drink aside where it won’t be spilled, and climbs down to sit on the edge of the porch to be there, accessible, when she finishes her slow crossing of the front lawn to meet him.

Her arrival is silent. Chuck strokes her hair, smooth and light, looking deeply into her eyes. She seems shy, she is unassuming, he knows all he needs to know of her in a glance. There is no need for coyness. No need for the dance, the slow trot around the truth, the flirting intricately orchestrated to establish interest and spare hurt feelings. The armor of tradition is discarded and not missed.

Chuck thinks of Sue. Where is she? What am I doing? And then casts the guilt rimmed thoughts aside; she is not here. She is away. She will not know; this will not alter my love for her, this will not interfere. This enchantment is greater than his resistance; he is powerless, swept away in the swelling tide of his surrender to the love of all who share this life, this long and winding road. He has forgiven himself already for transgressions not yet committed.

She is there; the young stranger, she is real. She is there, silent, speaking volumes with her expressive eyes, emitting only the low sound of her steady breath. She sits on the ground and buries her head into him, sliding along his thighs. His throbbing, unprovoked erection strains at the zipper of his shorts; it can no longer be ignored.

He leans forward, into her; she smells of freshly washed hair and the waning summer road. He strokes her slowly, gently; small shudders at the thrill announce her pleasure. No words need be spoken, the body can communicate on its own, is programmed to do so. Animalistic expression takes the fore.

Unzipping his summer shorts, she tilts her head playfully to the side, almost expectantly. Her curiosity is palatable, his expectation thick. He springs free, an erect testament to the lure of all that is female, receptive and nurturing. Fleeting glances of him are captured and reflected in her eyes before she looks demurely away, and looks again.

She has been here before; oral exploration is not a new vocation, but one undertaken with much enthusiasm and long practiced in her short life. She sniffs lightly, taking in his musky scent, exploring his soul with her capable olfactory sense. She knows he is a good man, that much is apparent to any casual observer; now she senses his desire.

One long lick, suspended in time. Her tongue begins its journey at the base of him, where his scent is thick and calming, continuing upward out of the depth and onto his shaft. She pauses and looks up for encouragement, acknowledgment.

‘Good girl...’ Chuck almost purrs with excitement, with the newness and the boldness of this exploration. He strokes her hair, the side of her face, lifts her chin in his palm, and smiles. Gently, he lowers her head, until, again, she is nestled between his thighs. She knows now what he wants and proceeds to oblige him with wild abandon. Licking rapidly, shortly, hitting without fail the sweet spot along the upper underside of his penis; she could lick him anywhere and induce ecstacy, such is the degree of his arousal. Her tongue is rough, she is carefree, Chuck is moaning lightly.

She continues on, tireless and eager to please, but never takes him fully into her mouth; he can not command her. She remains silent, the only sound emitting from her being the earthy sound of her breath, announcing her vibrancy. Her heart is silently thrumming, racing. She is above command, innocent yet worldly, he must take whatever she gives willingly, without asking. That will be enough, he thinks, but his cock is crying to be surrounded by moist, pliable flesh. He wants to be enveloped by her, to feel her warmth. His approaching orgasm insists, he can feel it like a freight rolling through his body, tantalizingly approaching the point of no return before subsiding, unbidden, teasing him. He needs desperately to be inside her.

No one will know. No one will see; he is exploring her compact, agile frame alongside a near deserted country road. The nearest neighbors are a half mile south. No line of sight connects him with any outpost of humanity, no prying eyes are to be found, cars can be heard in their approach long before they enter his range of vision. He is safe.

Getting up from the porch, he discards his shorts onto the lawn without a thought. His mind is clear and focused, his purpose and desire known and destined to be fulfilled. He drops down onto his knees behind her, she shifts from her sitting position onto all fours in the grass, as if it were the most natural course of action to take. She glances briefly back at him before he enters her, forcefully and all at once, eliciting her first sound; a gentle whimper.

New ground, pliable, fertile, yet unseeded; her flesh is tight and hot around him. He pounds into her, complete, breathtaking strokes pushing him quickly over the edge along with her unfailing receptiveness and docility, her occasional glance over her shoulder, catching him with her deep, dark eyes. He cums with his face buried against her neck, his orgasm climbs through his body in waves, increasing in intensity until he forgets himself and the world, the seeming loss of sentience as one physical feeling eclipses all. For an instant. She takes his throbbing, kicking cock, takes his hot semen spilling in near rivers inside of her.

Falling onto the grass, he looks up at the clear sky. The gentle breeze blows across his bare lower half, carrying away the glistening sweat. She curls up beside him, his brown haired beauty, and begins to drift off. They lay there some time before Chuck is jostled back into complete awareness by the sound of an approaching vehicle.

He rises slowly, puts on his shorts. Looks down at his new playmate, lying still in the grass, looking up at him but not meeting his eyes. He bends, stroking her, and it is in this moment that the car arrives.

His wife, and mother in law, back from their shopping expedition, replete with plenty of spoils.

‘Hey Chuck, come help us get this stuff in the house.’ Susan calls, no hint of concern or suspicion in her voice. Chuck glances down at his girl once again, still lying in the cool grass, and moves to help his wife.

The mother in law notices, though, and walks over to where Chuck was so intimately entwined only moments before. The mother in law is annoyed; she knows the one in the grass, and calls casually over to Chuck.

‘What is the neighbor’s dog doing here? I wish they’d tie her up, always lolling about and digging in my flowers.’ She gently kicks at Chuck’s brown haired beauty with the tip of her shoe, nudging her up and sending her on her way. ‘Get! Go home!

Okay, folks, there you have it...a lazy Sunday afternoon passed by Chuck in blissful solitude. Come see me over at my place anytime, I promise I'm rarely so cruel. Thanks for reading!

Important Moments in the Life of Chuck...

2004-11-17T11:59:00.000-06:00

Well, here I am again, the Good Husband, guest blogging more than I am on my own blog. Of course, things there are depressing. At least here I can get away from my bleak existence and have some fun. Chuck's treatment seems to be moving along well. Miss Teria left me a voice mail yesterday telling me that he is responding to the hypnotism very well and by next Monday he will be once again cured of his desire to double over and get busy in front of Sue and the neighbors. Miss Teria also told me that she was sending me an email with a few events from Chuck's past that she feels are important as to why he would do such inappropriate things without concern for the norms of social interactions.

Well, I am no psychologist or philosopher so reading the details of Chuck's past didn't really make a lot of sense to me. I did think though, that with Chuck out of town and me having the guest pass to his blog, I should post these tales of Chuck's youth in the hopes that they will prompt someone to shed light on his condition.

The day before Chuck's thirteenth birthday was the first time he showed his wee pecker to a woman outside his immediate family. It was, in fact, the first time that any woman had seen Chuck's winkie since the hair started to grow down there because, like all little boys going through puberty, once the hair started showing up he kept things pretty private. The day it happened Chuck was running an errand for his mother. She needed some sugar from the grocery store and couldn't drive there with all the preparation she was doing for his birthday party the next day. So, she asked Chuck to go to the store on his bike.

The store was about a mile from the house and was a quick ride for young Chuck. He rode out the neighborhood and down the street, cutting through a strip mall's parking lot on the way. In that strip mall was a kid's clothing store and when Chuck rode by the lady who worked there was dressing mannequins in the window. The mannequins were all about Chuck's height and he found his attention fixed watching the lady, a fit and attractive college aged blonde in a yellow summer dress, pressing her hands into the crotch of the boy mannequins while zipping up its jeans.

Chuck rode by slowly, watching her at work, feeling a stirring in his own jeans, but remembering his task and eventually making it to the grocery store. After the sugar, and a can of pepsi, was bought Chuck started his ride home. Once again he passed the clothing store and now the lady was bent at the waist tying the shoes of the boy mannequin. Due to her pose, and the light material of her dress, Chuck could make out the little blue flower print of her panties and this excited him. He stopped his bike and stared, watching her tie the shoelaces and staring at her panties until she turned around and caught him looking. Chuck blushed but the lady just smiled and waved at him, showing no difference to his gaze. Emboldened, Chuck walked into the store and over to the front window where he proceeded to drop his jeans and underwear and pointed at his hard on and said "Hey babe, how about a blow job?"
By the summer of Chuck's fourteenth year he had kissed a few girls. Mostly quick kisses that really were nothing more that tentative pecks. He would listen to the older boys at his school and their sexual conquests and dream about the day when he would make out with a girl properly. He wanted to get past first base and on around to third at the least, but the girls he knew wanted nothing to do with Chuck. They had heard stories about his weird activities; exposing his wang for example.

That summer Chuck's mother was excited because her oldest brother was coming with his family to visit from their home outside Murren Switzerland where he worked as a technician in an allergy clinic run by a flamboyant Count. Chuck's Uncle had married a French woman he'd met some seventeen years prior and soon after they married the couple gave birth to twin daughters. Since then Chuck's uncle had come back to the states a few times, but no one had met his aunt or cousins in person until then. The twins were a few months older than Chuck and were both stunningly beautiful. Their bodies had the curves of womanhood with the perfection of youth and when the two were together men would stare unabashedly at them.

The day they arrived Chuck's mother told him that although he had never met the girls or his Aunt, he was to treat them like family, just like all his other aunts and uncles and cousins leaving in the trailer park nearby. They had different customs and accents, but they were still family and Chuck needed to make them feel as welcome in their home as he could. As the rental car pulled up in their driveway Chuck's family went outside to greet their European relatives.

Chuck watched as his mother and father hugged and kissed his uncle and aunt. Then his parents moved to the twins and greeted them with hugs and kisses. His cousins were the most attractive girls he'd seen. Both of them were wearing tight shirts with their nipples protruding against the fabric at the peak of four perfectly perky breasts. Chuck's uncle picked him up in a great bear hug and told him that he looked just like he did as a teen. Then Chuck's aunt came over and pinched his cheeks telling him how adorable he was. She leaned forward and Chuck knew what he had to do. As his aunt placed her lips on his for a hello kiss Chuck shot his tongue into her mouth for a proper French style kiss.

For the rest of the visit Chuck was kept away from his Aunt and the twins.

What Chuck Doesn't Post...

2004-11-16T15:54:00.000-06:00

Hi again, I'm back to post guest-style for Chuck, who as you know is currently holed up in a trailer on the border of Mexico with a hypnotist to once again overcome his addiction to auto-fellatio. The poor guy; I just don't know how much more his back can take from this type of abuse. Not to mention that the dogs in Chuck's neighborhood have nothing to feel superior to man about.

While Chuck is gone, and has given a few of us access to the posting capabilities of his blog, I have been looking through his extensive archive of unpublished posts and I thought I'd share some of them with you. Some of this stuff Chuck probably never thought would see the light of day, but you know... How can I resist?

Back in June of this year Chuck had an abortive post that I thought really deserved to see the light of day. The post was written on June 13th of 2004 and dealt with the birthday of everyone's favorite child star twins. Now, I'm not going to share the entire post, because some of it is pretty dirty ('Personally, I think that Ashley Olsen would be more likely to have a group sex with me and the Nelson Twins than Mary Kate, but that is fine. As long as one of them would let me and those hot Nelson boys, with their long locks of platinum blonde hair and cute asses, have our way with them.') and would not serve to benefit Chuck's already sketchy blog personality. Even with his fantasies about those Nelson boys, Chuck really shows his sweeter side with the following excerpt:

I have been having dreams about Mary Kate as a midget again. I know she is short, but imagine how hot she would be if she was about three foot six. I would love have her ride a Shetland pony (or my Golden Retriever) around the bedroom of some swank hotel while wearing nothing but that little studded leather collar that I bought for her. Oh man, I'm going to have to get my dishrag.

Then there was the post from September of this year that Chuck titled "The N'Sync Member's Testicles I'd Most like to Wax." Now personally, having met Chuck back in the days of the whack-off Anonymous club, I always assumed that he'd be into Joey Fatone Jr. After reading the post I was a little shocked to read that, as Chuck wrote;

There is something about Lance Bass's eyes that just make me question is I should not have given into my urges as a youth and dated men. His eyes... His lips... The way he thrusts his hips while dancing… My goodness, I just imagine myself being the recipient of those thrusts and it makes me... Sue, have you seen my dishrag?

Not all of Chuck's posts are about sexual proclivities with the rich and famous. Sometimes Chuck's fancy lands on the most ordinary of targets; take for example this draft post from three weeks ago where Chuck explores some of his stranger physical attractions.

The other day I was waiting in line at the local McDonalds when I saw this lady wiggle herself out of the front seat of her Dodge Neon. She was fairly petite from the waist up with a nice rack and a not too un-cute face; but my god, everything from the waist down was enormous. Her huge butt, which stuck out so far that you could put an entire Christmas nativity scene on it and not even get close to the small of her back, and massive thighs and cankles that runneth over her keds really got my attention with a immediate 'sproing!'

It was like she was part of a mix and match book and someone had taken the skinny lady's top and the fat lady's bottom and stuck them together. I've never felt a lust like I did to see this woman disrobe. I wanted to watch how she pulled those lime green warm up bottoms off and over her back side, and to find out just how she managed to lay down comfortably with such proportions. By the time I got to the speaker window I was considering getting a second order of fries for Sue, but then I wondered if I would be able to share a bed with someone of such bulk. I ended up not getting the extra fries, and thankfully I had my dishrag in the car so the thoughts of lust were out of my head before I returned to my beautiful, and normally proportioned wife.

The final draft post that I caught in Chuck's blog was this one from November 3rd where he writes a dark secret that I just had to share with you all:

I couldn't do it. I couldn't vote for George W. Bush. Yesterday while at the polling place I tried hard to keep believing that Bush was appointed by God, but no longer would my conscience let me. I know he is a bad President and I know he is a liar. Damn that Fox News for telling me otherwise. I really think I might have voted for him except that I really don't like bush.

If I'm going to be spending a lot of my tome between the legs of a woman, I want that area to be trimmed at the least, and hairless is preferred. Voting for Bush is voting for hair in my nose and down my throat. I couldn't do it, so I didn't. Instead I wrote in the name of Haywood Jablome. I need to wrap things up now as my dishrag is done in the dryer and there's nothing quite like a warm dishrag.

So, that's what Chuck hasn't been sharing. Really, I don't know why he would hide these things from us in blog land.

Your guest blogger, and compulsive liar,
The Good Husband

Hello Out There…

2004-11-16T13:09:00.000-06:00

***knocking on the microphone…testing, one, two, three.. seems to be working..***
Wow I’m completely surrounded by Texans here, now I know how Davy Crocket felt at the Alamo… I know not exactly correct, but it fit too well not to use it.. Well now that I’ve annoyed my friends from Texas, how about a peace offering… The other day I posted a little bit of personal wisdom (yes I know that doesn’t happen very often), that fits well with this theme. The comment was on a reflection in the differences in lifestyles, culture, and mentality between Texas and the New England area. Having grown up in Rhode Island and then moving down south for a number of years, I was absolutely awe struck by the differences in the people. Down in the southern states the lifestyle is much more relaxed, much friendlier, and much more personal. I remember the distinction becoming evident the first time I went into a quickie mart type of store. The cashier was a middle-aged woman who actually said Hi when I approached the counter. Not only did she say hi but she was trying strike up a conversation with me. I felt so uncomfortable with the situation; why, because there was another person behind me and the only thing that kept running through my mind was how pissed this guy behind me must be getting having to wait while this woman wants to talk to me. Well, not only was the guy not pissed, but he actually joined in on the conversation. It’s been my observation that Southerners are much friendlier to strangers and much more open than northerners are. Northerners tend to put a larger emphasis on family and less on developing and maintaining close nit friendships. To an extent I still find myself like that. Southerners on the other hand place a much larger emphasis on friendship. So to all the new friends I have developed over the last couple of months…I just want to say thank you, no matter where in the world you are from…

Now I think I will go over to a Taco Bell and see what all the fuss is that Chuck keeps talking about..

Your guest blogger, StuckForNow

Ode to Chuck's Dirty Dishrag

2004-11-15T23:51:00.000-06:00

I was inspired so much by Good Husband, I thought I would write a poem.

Ode to Chuck's Dirty Dishrag
(by Buddha Bubba, edited by Sparkey)

Oh, have you heard about Chuck's Dishrag?
His dirty, dirty dishrag?
He talks about it around the clock,
And why he uses it for his cock?

Have you heard about this dishrag?
The dingy, desecrated
Dishrag for Chuck's dick?
And how it does make me sick?

The idea seems quite gross to me,
To shoot into a piece of fabric you keep.
When was it last cleaned, today or yesterday?
I'm not sure, it's hard to say!

He uses the same one,
Over and over again.
Like a child with his favorite blanket.
But with this, he uses to yank it!

It is his friend in time of need,
And his lover in time of lust.
He spews his load into this piece of cloth.
Shoot on his stomach? He is no sloth!

Yet, he does not take care of his friend.
For it is always lying around, sitting around.
Crusting and flaking in a corner unseen
Smelling a bit like garlic and chlorine

Its putrid loneliness reaches out:
"Save me, save me from Chuck's touch!"
Will Sue find it while he's writing his blog?
Perhaps it'll just be eaten, by a stray dog?

I'm sure the thing could stand on it's own!
Not just in stiffness, but actually cum to life!
To walk around and scream:
"Hey, I'm Chuck's rag full of cream!"

It would walk outside, and look at the stars,
And think about its own existence.
Filled with sorrow and grief,
Realizing tonight, he would feel Chuck's beef!

During this time, Chuck was inside,
Searching for his favorite love toy.
He looked everywhere for it, even his closet,
So later tonight he could make a deposit.

Yet, this disturbed, depressed, dishrag
Was traumatized by Chuck's masturbation
And wishing for death and eternal peace,
Threw himself in traffic so his life would cease.

He got on the curb, and made himself ready.
Had his last thought, took his last step.
The car's tire tore him to shreds!
Yes, oh yes, Chuck's dishrag is dead.

When Chuck heard the sound of the dying rag,
He ran outside with all he had!
He saw the shredded remains and choked,
"Good Lord Almighty, my hanky has broke!"

With his friend in his hands,
He gives him a last kiss goodnight.
And holds the rag to his face,
For one final, sad embrace.

Tears pour down Chuck's cheeks
He knew what to do before he buried him
So one last time, he got to his feet,
Shoved the rag down his pants and went * skeet, skeet, skeet *

Yes boys and girls, skeet, skeet. Skeet, skeet, indeed. And come by my place for more borderline schizophrenia.

The sinister truth...

2004-11-15T13:20:00.000-06:00

Attention readers of Chuck's blog:

Chuck is gone for a few days. I suppose I should tell you the truth behind his 'business' trip. Obviously most readers of this blog have fallen for Chuck's cover, or should I say his mild-mannered secret identity. Truth be told, Chuck is not all he claims to be. Sure he is married, and yes he met his wife online, but that is where the reality stops in terms of this blog.

Before I get into what is going on with Chuck's life this week (business trip my ass) I should let you know about Chuck's background and how I first met Chuck in the early 1990's in the San Fernando Valley. Back then I was a college student looking to pick up some extra bucks over the summer. With a high IQ and a practice of abstaining from booze and drugs I found that it was easy to pick up a few extra c-notes a month by lending my seed to a sperm bank just outside of LA off the 405.

During those days donating sperm didn't have the social cache that it has now. Sperm donors, or Jack Oftens as we were known, usually kept a low profile and didn't mention our second source of income. There were two reasons for this. First off, if every guy knew that the average sperm donor in the US makes $5000 a year for three deposits a week, then the supply of donors would cause the price to drop. Second, who wants to admit that you jack off for money?

Which brings us back to Chuck; Chuck at this time was also out in LA and struggling to make it as a Grip in the movie industry. Chuck wasn't a sperm donor, but he did use his tool to make money. Chuck, at that time, was working for a singing telegram service as a decidedly inappropriate 'police officer' who would punctuate the end of his telegram by laying on his back and fellating himself in front of the message recipients and anyone else who happened to be nearby.

At first Chuck would just lick the knob a few times and that would be that, but eventually word got out about his flexibility and requests for more onasitic oral attention were made; with offers of money to improve his technique. Soon Chuck would find himself being summoned to Tupperware parties to do his little dance, make a little self-love and go down tonight. Women, in crowds around naked men, turn into crazed fiends. They would hold his ankles and not let him remove his tool from his mouth. They would stroke him while he did it and even finger his pucker in the hopes of bringing him off; and sometimes they succeeded.

That is about when I met Chuck. In the LA area there are self-help groups for nearly every type of peccadillo. Due to my donation routine, I was in the habit of chocking the chicken every other afternoon at two. This habit was interfering with my work as a tour guide at Disneyland and I knew I needed help. Chuck, on the other hand, was addicted to the money he was making self-fellating himself, but was disgusted with the extent that he let his talent take him. So, every other Tuesday we would both head over to the self-sex anonymous group that met in the local Mormon tabernacle.

You would have been able to recognize Chuck at this time by his noticeable stoop. He spent so much time with his knees near his ears that he stood a good three inches shorter than his old height. Chuck wanted help. He knew that he would soon be so addicted to self-satisfaction that he would stop leaving the house. He told us, on that first fateful meeting, that his ideal life would be to live as a side show freak, constantly working on his John Thomas for the delight of crowds. We all knew he needed help.

The rest of us in the group, who were really all just chronic masturbators, knew that were we able to fellate our own fountains we would be in his situation too. Our hearts went out to Chuck and we knew we had to straighten him out, both figuratively and literally. Our course of action was simple. We had to figure out a way to make Chuck never want to take himself in his mouth again; but how?

As we were in LA, the answer was pretty easy to figure out; hypnosis. We had to have Chuck hypnotized to make him never want to blow his own top again. Feelers were sent out up and down the west coast and near San Diego there was a woman who had success in hypnotizing men's wives to love the taste of semen. We called her and asked if she could do the exact opposite for Chuck. She agreed, but in addition to payment, she wanted to watch Chuck fellate himself one last time.

Our group, knowing that we were truly helping Chuck, readily agreed. We drove him down to a little trailer near the border and met this mysterious woman. Once inside we put Chuck on the bed and removed his pants. Then we pulled the burlap bag off of Chuck's head and as soon as he saw his own member he rolled into position and proceeded to bury his nose in his balls. Within a few minutes you could hear him grunting as he took his own load.

The hypnotist stopped her video camera and told us all to leave the room. She worked with Chuck for two days and when she was done, he didn't want to even see his own semen, much less anyone else's. Never again did he think to place his wang in his mouth, which only days before referred to as his 'cock holster,' and those of us in the support group felt very happy that we had done the right thing.

So that is what happened in the past, but why is he gone now?

Last week I got a frantic call from Sue, Chuck's wonderful wife. She found Chuck in the front seat of his car, locked in the garage, using the roof of the car to assist in returning his body to the flexibility of old. Sue rushed in, thinking he might be stuck, and noticed the tell tale signs of a recent deposit on the corner of Chuck's mouth. Panicked, Sue called me and I put her in touch with that hypnotist in the trailer on the border.

So, that is where Chuck is this week. We're getting him straightened out. Next week, I am going to see another hypnotist for making up such detailed lies about my friends.

Your guest blogger, The Good Husband.

Sunday in the Rain...

2004-11-14T14:57:00.000-06:00

I know Chuck isn't officially out of town yet - but I figured I might ought to get a jump on the posting thing. Anybody who's read my blog knows it's kind of hit-and-miss at times; I sure don't want to let Chuck down - his are some big shoes to fill - and I DO MEAN BIG. hahaha...

We've been enjoying our second round of winter weather here in the Texas Panhandle - got some snow yesterday (not the 6+ inches predicted), and it came down so big and hard you could actually HEAR the snowflakes hitting the ground - I kid you not!! It was so thick and fast, I felt like I was living in a snow globe and it actually made me dizzy to try and look too far out on the horizon in it. Today, most of the precip has been in the form of rain, which mainly serves to make me want to lie in bed all day - UGH!!

People always seem surprised to hear we have snow out here - like they think we're in the desert southwest, kind of like Arizona or something (by the way, it does occasionally snow in the desert, too). I always get a grin out of that - I'm not sure why. Probably because growing up, I had cousins who lived in Greenwich, CT. They really thought we lived in the wild, wild West. I vividly remember their first visit out here - when they were probably 8 or 10 years old; they wanted to know where we parked our horses. ROFLMAO - yup - they were DEAD SERIOUS, bless them. Ironic that I drove a Mustang, I guess.

Sounds like maybe ol' Chuck's had his tail in the wringer lately. I've been doing a lot of blog reading and it seems like several folks in this cyber-group are having some problems on the old home front. For that I am sorry. Stuff like this usually travels in packs somehow or other - maybe it's just that when we know someone else is having trouble, it makes us more sensitive to our own? Who knows. Of course, since I am single (and I'm sure some of you would agree there's probably a good reason for that), I don't have to worry about having trouble with a significant other person - and it does afford me the luxury of stepping back and looking at things objectively - if maybe even a little enviously as well. Sometimes I think it would be nice to care about someone enough to be in a relationship with them (and vice versa) wherein fighting was part of the package. Maybe I just miss really good make-up sex? who knows??

On the other hand, my sister and I had a big knock-down drag-out today - so maybe it's just relative to the relationships we DO have. I'm still sitting here sulking and going over in my mind about how I AM always right and she IS always wrong (which she accused me of today - hey, I can't help it if it's the truth!). But then as Dr. Phil says, would you rather be right or happy?? hmmmmm - I'm gonna have to think about that one for a while. Right now, I'm ok with being right.

Of course, I'd be the first one to tell others having trouble to make the first step to reconcile because it's worth it - so I guess I should learn to take my own advice and quit being such a prideful witch. At the very least, if you apologize first - lay it all on the line - put your heart right out there - and it STILL doesn't work out, at least you don't always have to wonder "what if" you had, right? And eventually your heart will mend, and you'll know you tried. Plus, you'll always have the satisfaction of knowing you WERE right, and that the other party was just too damn stubborn/selfish/stupid (insert any word of your choice here) to come around. I'm just saying.... osm

A New Day.....

2004-11-13T00:27:00.000-06:00

Things have been a bit better today. We talked and we both apologized. Then, later in the day, another pile of shit hit the fan. This time it was my fault completely.

We have been receiving bills from my doctor for the past couple months now for office visits I had made. I had thought, as in years past, that the co-payment was all that was owed as long as Blue Cross/Blue Shield approved the treatment. Susan told me probably 5 or 6 times to call and find out what the deal was, but I had neglected to do so. Well today we got a letter in the mail saying we owed $205. and that this was their last notice. Susan happened to have taken the day off today, and when the mail came in I was getting ready to head out for a meeting with one of my customers. She opened and read the letter then exploded when I seemed to appear, once again, to be disinterested. In reality I was running late and needed to shower/shave/dress for the meeting. I didn't appreciate the tone of voice she had taken with me, so I instantly reacted saying something along the lines of, "Bitch get the fuck out of here..." Not sure exactly what I said, but it may or may not have been similar to the above. Anyway, I left and while I was gone she called BC/BS and found out that our insurance had changed and we now had to meet a $300 per person deductible before we could go back to the $10 co-pay arrangement of before.

Since then we have both apologized. I told her I was sorry for being so lazy and not taking care of things before it all came to a head. She apologized for yelling and saying the things she did. Hey folks, we're working on making things better and getting through our disagreements in a civil way. Right? By the way, she did read my post from last night along with the comments. So far all she has said is that it seems most of you are on her side. I was hoping she would go for Roberts suggestion of "Have you tried giving her hard anal sex and pulling her by her hair at the same time, whilst slapping her ass ?" Unfortunately she found no arousal or humor in that. Damn, maybe next time....

In other news, how about that Peterson verdict? I have a feeling old Scott is going to be someone's bitch in the near future. Hope he is ready to be biting a few pillows in San Quentin.

Also, what about that Arafat funeral. Anyone else watch that early this morning? Those people are animals. Damn, what is up with all the automatic weaponry being shot up into the air? I head on the radio tonight that there was 90 some people wounded from falling bullets. Jeeze!

My sister, LaTesha (not her real name), and her boyfriend have come to visit this weekend. LaTesha is 23, blond and beautiful (she takes after me) and a senior at the University of Tennessee. It is nice to have them here for a couple days. Tonight we ate the spaghetti Susan had made and watched Shrek 2. Once the kids, and Susan, went to bed Tesha, her boyfriend Lex (not his real name) and I watched the new version of Dawn of the Dead. Very good movie! Go out and rent it ASAP if you haven't already seen it. Tomorrow she and Lex are taking the kids to see that new Pixar movie and Susan and I are going to go Christmas shopping. I am sure fun will be had by all.

Okay, well the countdown to be a GUEST BLOGGER on my site next week is nearing it's last phase. I already have the lovely married couple, that Trailer Park Queen from West Texas and everyone's fav the Good Husband signed up. Wow, I just realized "All my guest bloggers live in Texas". Isn't that a country song? Anyway, there is still room for a few more. Don't be shy, you can have a guest staring role here on my site and talk about anything you want. Just let me know.

Have a good weekend. I will check back in once more before I head out to San Diego....

Do you ever have those days....

2004-11-11T23:25:00.000-06:00

Where you feel like the world is against you? Ever get the feeling like you are the last thing your spouse wants to look at, talk to, or have anything to do with? Well, this evening has been one of those days for me. If someone were to stick a gun to my head and demand that I answer truthfully (or face death) whether I honestly believe my wife truly loves me.....I wouldn't be sure how to answer. I would want to say, "yes". Surely, as she often points out, she wouldn't have married me and taken on the terrible burden that is me and my kids if she didn't love me. But then again I would also want to say, "no", because someone who really says they love someone wouldn't treat that person in such a shitty way as I am being treated, then chastised when I complain about this treatment. God, how it sucks.

Let me give you some back ground that came to a head today. About three months ago I received in the mail an invitation to subscribe to Playboy magazine for $12 for a year. Wow, that was quite a deal and my wife encouraged me to subscribe. I did and when the first issue arrived, and once I was able to take it away from her, I found that I had been given an invitation for a free one month membership to the Playboy website. I figured what the hell and joined up. I had to give a credit card in order to join, but was assured that if I cancelled before the trial membership was up I wouldn't be charged the monthly fee of $29.94. Well after about 20 minutes looking over the site I found that it was pretty softcore. Not much to see but some boobies. Boobs are great and all, hell I couldn't live without them, but sometimes you want to see a little more. Especially when there are sites like this (NOT WORK FRIENDLY) out there. So, I never went back to the site since that first time. But I remembered that I needed to cancel. Every time I sat down on the toilet in our bathroom and picked up the November issue of Playboy I thought to myself, "Remember you have to cancel that membership before you get billed." Well, back on Monday I did just that. I cancelled and received the confirmation email. Well guess what? I guess I didn't read it too well. It was a 21 day trial membership and not 30 days. My debit card was billed the $29.94 fee and my wife jumped my ass big time for it. All day today I have been walking on eggshells because I forgot to cancel in time and I cost the family $30 for "porn". Yeah, well I got news for you....I have seen my share of porn and this is not it! There is just so many times I can apologize for my "life ending mistake". Again, let me say it for ALL to read, I AM SO SORRY! Maybe I should go out and blow some homeless guys, surely if I blow enough of them I can make up the $30 in the dimes they would pay me with. Okay, now I am sickened even more. Bad mental image.........okay, over it now....

I just don't understand why I have to be constantly treated like a piece of shit just because I am guilty of having two kids and an ex wife. Uh, hello....you kinda knew this coming into this marriage. Also, I am tired of hearing the fucking fallacy of how you can't ever have anything for yourself because your money has to go to buy food for my kids. Or how you can't have a baby of your own because you will be stuck having to pay for braces and cars and college for my children. Hey, you even love me for who I am (and by the way I am the same guy you wanted to marry) or you get the hell out. Cut your loses and get on with your life, since it was so wonderful before you were cursed by meeting me.

I really can't understand why I have to be treated like this most everyday. I hardly ever complain anymore. When I do I am accused of being too "sensitive" or "dramatic". Well guess what babe, this is fucking life. Those who aren't sensitive or dramatic about saving their marriage end up divorced. Is that what you want? Many of the times I hear the words "I love you" spoken it is just because I have verbally reacted to some negative thing you have said. Seems like the only time you ever want to say it is when you feel guilty for treating me like the thing you flushed earlier this morning. I am tired of that. I deserve more. I would love to be able to say "I love you" and not worry that tomorrow you are going to take me as being weak for having said it and jump me in some degrading way.

Well, guess the Fuck what? I DO love you. Even after all we have been through, and even after being made to feel like the biggest dung heap by you, I still love you. I want things to be good with us. Damn I hope they can....someday. I am tired of the veiled threat that I am constantly faced with. This threat of, "if things don't improve I can leave - anytime", is getting old. Either you decide to love me and treat me as I deserve to be treated and accept my love for you, or you leave.

*ball is served into your court by Chuck*

WANTED: Guest Bloggers....

2004-11-10T17:32:00.000-06:00

Since I will be out of town all next week and unable to access my blog I thought I would offer a few of you, my steady readers, an opportunity to grace my site with your wit and wisdom. Already my good blog buddy Sparkey has agreed to entertain you in my absence. She has actually posted a brief post right below this one. If that isn't enough to get your juices flowing you should also know that the darling of the World of Blogdom, The Good Husband, has agreed to opine here as well. If you are interested let me know. You can post anything you like, no subject is off limits, except deep dark secretes I may have shared via Yahoo Messenger! Come on, I am sure there are a few more of you itching to make your mark here on my site.

In case you were wondering, I offered Susan an opportunity to take over the blog, but she declined.

Brought to you

2004-11-10T15:23:00.000-06:00

exclusively by the redheaded slut.

The Rest Of The Weekend....

2004-11-08T20:45:00.000-06:00

Well, lets see...I last left you late on Friday night (or early on Saturday morning) and I apologize for taking until now to catch you up on my weekend of bachelorhood. First I must explain, yesterday I spent most of the morning getting the house cleaned up before Susan returned around 1pm. Today I worked with a guy who flew in from Indy to make some customer calls with me. This has been the first chance I have had to sit down at the laptop for more than a couple minutes.

So, what happened on Saturday? Well, I called an escort service around 8pm and they sent out a tall redhead with a nice rack. She went by the name of Sparkey. Damn was she HOT........okay, I jest.......sorry Bubba!

The truth is me and the kids hung out all day. In the late afternoon my daughter T went to spend the night with her friend down the street and me and L went over to the neighbors for an exclusive outdoor showing of Shrek 2. It was awesome. They had hung a sheet on the fence and projected the movie from a laptop through one of those projector things. There were probably 25 people there, including a butt load of kids. There was popcorn, candy and hot chocolate. My ex, FA, called and asked if there was anyway she could not pick up L for the night. She claimed she was tired from a long day, but I figured otherwise (more on this later).

After the movie L and I returned to the house and I settled him into my bed while I checked out a few new blogs I have recently discovered. Ya'll really should check out Foxy and Chickpea. Damn these two hot and sexy women write about some steamy stuff. Be warned, much of their stuff isn't work friendly, but it sure is stimulating! I ended up getting in bed around 10 pm next to a snoring four year old with the intention of watching a movie on HBO, Cinemax or Showtime. Instead, the next thing I knew, I found myself waking up with sunlight streaming through the window and L trying to put my glasses on my face saying, "DAD, will you fix me some breakfast???" It was 7am. I rolled over and told him it was much too early, and he needed to go back to bed. About 45 minutes later I was forced to get up and heat him up some "Pixar 'Incredibles' Pop Tarts", then I went back and slept till 9. When I finally drug my ass out of bed he had the nerve to ask whether I was going to make some bacon and eggs. Uh, no....pop tarts will have to do.

I guess the reason my weekend turned out to be so lame was due in part to this crappy cold I have had all week. I have been coughing and sniffling and I reckon I was just a little too run down to try and have much fun. By the time Susan returned yesterday the house was half way clean, and everything was in order for her arrival. She put away her clothes and crawled into bed for a three hour nap. While she slept I vacuumed and washed her car, and then did the same with my company car. We ended up dining on the roast/potatoes/carrots and green bean casserole I had made and then got in bed to watch Desperate Housewives. Oh, yeah....after dinner and before TV we had us some "I sure missed you" sex. It was nice; her on top, then doggie (she came), then finished up missionary (I came). It was nice, not for the sex, but because we got to kiss some for a change. I sure do like to kiss, just don't get to do enough of it.

Today I have been out of the office (house) since around 9 this morning. I was working with the guy who flew in from Indianapolis. It was a productive day, and I learned quite a bit. Tonight I made a nice teriyaki chicken dish with rice and broccoli. It was pretty good if I might say so myself! Now, here I sit, catching you up on my boring and non-blog worthy life. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't post anything unless something exciting happens, but if I were to do that I might not be posting till around Christmas. So ya'll will just have to put up with my dull posts until something exciting happens in my life.

One final thing before I post....I am very concerned about someone who I consider to be one of my good blog friends. I have never spoken to this person voice to voice, but I have chatted with him on several occasions. I hope to be able to meet him in person sometime early next year. He is going through an extremely difficult time and he and his family need to be in all our thoughts and prayers. I have spent a lot of time recently thinking and worrying about G.H. and I hope you all will send some good wishes his way. I think he would really appreciate all the positive thoughts you could send him.

That's all for tonight. I hope you are all having a good week. I'll get back to you when I can.

Bachelor Life - Night 2....

2004-11-06T00:09:00.000-06:00

This is my second night here alone without my lovely wife. Only one more to go. The last time she went out of town alone to visit her Mother she decided to reconnect with some old "chat friends" on Yahoo Messenger. I sure hope she isn't trying to get her hook up on now, miles away, as I sit here typing this! Well, in her defense the incident I have described happened back in February, and things were a little on the shaky side back then. Surely she wouldn't consider doing something like that now....right?

Well, taking Sparkey's advice (see my comments from yesterday), I tried to contact my local Midget Stripper's Union today, but unfortunately they were all booked through Chanukah. So here I was, stuck with this rented donkey. Not much fun by yourself with a horny donkey, but alas I tried.

If anyone wants pics send me a private email.

Anyway......

I worked my ass off today when I wasn't busy reading and commenting on blogs. Around 6 pm tonight I took the kids out for Mexican. We stuffed ourselves then came home and watched Van Helsing. I was a little hesitant about letting my 11 and 4 year old watch a movie about Vampires and Werewolves, but since it was presented in an Indiana Jones(ish) format they took to it just fine. After the movie, and after watching the DVD special features, we chased each other around the living room with my daughter's plastic vampire fangs in our mouths growling and hissing like a regular coven of the undead. Great fun was had by all, but for some reason they have both refused to sleep alone upstairs in their rooms and are now sleeping in the bed in my room. One of them will be finding their butt on the floor when they wake up in the morning. My bed isn't big enough for two sets or arms and legs pushing into my back tonight as I try to sleep. But don't worry, I already have a pallet set up in the floor of my bedroom. Most likely L, the youngest, will sleep comfortably on the floor. After all four year olds can sleep anywhere.

Well, I reckon I will post this and head on to bed. Big day of football tomorrow. It will be kind of sad watching the games without Susan here with me. I am sure she is having a nice time alone with her Mother. Or maybe not. She might be wishing, right about now, that she had stayed home with her hot and sexy husband. I am sure she is laying in bed now dreaming about me and how she misses my B.C. Nah, it is good for her to go home and spend sometime with mom alone for a change.

Tomorrow night the kids will be with their Mother and I will be here alone, ready to do some serious partying. The invitation to come on over is still on the table. Ya'll better get on the road and head this way!

When The Cat Is Away....

2004-11-04T23:48:00.000-06:00

I am doing the bachelor thing this weekend. Susan left this afternoon to go home for a visit with her Mother in Tennessee. Tonight me and the kids ordered pizza and watched Around The World In 80 Days. After I got the kids in bed I retired to our bedroom and watched Van Helsing. It was actually a pretty good action packed movie. Now I am sitting here thinking of being bad. Any suggestions for some "wife is gone" fun for me this weekend? Should I host a party, hire some strippers, or start my own meth lab? I think I should go for the party idea with maybe a couple strippers. Anyone want to come? If you leave now I am sure most of you could be here by sun down tomorrow. Ya'll come on down! I'll have the front porch light on for you.

Friends In HIGH Places....

2004-11-01T20:02:00.000-06:00

Last Thursday afternoon, once I had finished my work at corporate, I headed down from the northern burbs to my friends place in the city. Jim, my Chicago friend and not the Alabama friend you have all read about here in the past, lives on the 16th floor of a nice condo building near Wrigley Field. He is a single, 40ish attorney, with a beautiful home and wonderful tastes. I suppose I should recount how he and I met before I tell you about what a nice host he was to me in Chi-town.

This past Mother's Day weekend Susan and I were staying at the San Destin Hilton Resort in Destin, Florida for a customer trip I had won. While laying by the pool we noticed an older woman looking uncomfortable laying on her pool chair in the sun. I walked over and asked her if she would like me to better position her umbrella so the sun wouldn't be beating down on her so badly. She asked me to please do so, as she was getting a little hot from the sun.

A little while later I notice a well tanned man come out and sit in the chair beside the woman. They talked for a minute and he got up and walked over to where Susan and I were baking. I shaded my eyes, looking up at him as he stuck out his hand and said, "Anyone who helps my Mama is a friend of mine." Well come to find out his name was Jim, an attorney from Chicago on vacation with his Mother, and the rest is history! He, Susan and I ended up dining together several times and it we have kept in touch ever since.

Thursday night while I was waiting to go out "on the town" Jim surprised me by arranging a masseur to come up to his condo and give us both massages. I guess we needed to get relaxed before a night on the town. It was awesome. The guy brought his own massage table and knew right where to make the stress go away. Later that evening we partied it up with his friends and had an all around high time, getting back in around 6am Friday morning. A few hours later I was at O'Hare awaiting my flight back to Birmingham. It was such a great time and so nice to get to spend some time with Jim at his home and in his neighborhood. I hope I can take Susan there sometime in the future. It really was an awesome mini vacation, thanks Jim!

I arrived home around 4pm on Friday and went to meet Susan for dinner at a nice Italian place. I arrived before she did and got a good table on the deck. We had drinks and plenty of food. Thanks to our $50 gift certificate, we were even able to bring home some homemade pizza for lunch on Saturday. When we got back home Friday night I was exhausted, having not slept in over 38 hours, so I zonked out and fell asleep, glad to be back home after five days.

Saturday we woke up and I headed off to Wal-Mart to buy groceries for the week. I returned home and Susan and I were able to make love again for the first time in seven days. I won't lie and say it was awesome....but I got to bust a well needed nut. Susan returned to bed to take her Saturday nap and the kids and I craved the pumpkin in order to get ready for the nights activities. Of course the Tennessee game was watched, and celebrated! Go Vols!! They handily beat The University Of South Carolina.

Here in the Bible Belt they decided to Trick or Treat on Saturday night instead of Sunday. So we were in a rush to get the costumes ready, candy prepared and the jack o'lantern lit for the evenings fun. My daughter went as a Vampiress and my son was Spiderman. Much fun and tooth decay was had by all.

Sunday I woke up sick as a dog. Terrible head cold, cough and sore throat. Maybe I let myself get a little run down with all the fun I have had lately. Went to bed early last night and woke up to work hard all day, even though I felt like shit. Mentioned earlier tonight to Susan that I was feeling the need to get a little bedtime action. She informed me that she wasn't going to get too close to me since she didn't want to get sick. I assured her that she couldn't catch anything if she only gave me a BJ. LOL She didn't fall for it, oh well....

I did get to spend a nice 45 minutes or so giving her a back massage. It is nice, for a change, to be able to touch your wife without there being any sexual expectations. The times that we have sat together on the couch with her head in my lap and me rubbing her hair, neck and back have been few and far between. We moved onto the bed where I broke out some lotion and she stripped down to the waist and I rubbed all the stress knots out of her back. It felt good for her and equally nice for me. Damn it was awesome...I loved being able to give her this kind of pleasure. When I was finished I kissed her forehead (not wanting to make her sick) and told her to lay down and watch TV until she fell asleep. I told her I loved her then went to tuck the kids into bed and now here I sit.

Well I reckon this will catch you all up on the happenings since I last posted. It's been an exciting past few days, and tomorrow looks like an equally exciting day. I just hope a decision is made before the night is over. Ya'll be sure to get out and vote!

I Shouldn't Be Doing This....

2004-10-30T16:14:00.000-05:00

But here is a... link ...to a video taken of me and Susan in bed. It probably won't be on here long, she'd kill me if she knew I had posted this. Be sure to turn up the sound.

The Out Of Town Blogger....

2004-10-26T18:09:00.000-05:00

Well, here I sit in a hotel in the northern Chicago burbs. Vernon Hills, IL to be exact. It is rainy and chilly here, but I still have the a/c running in my room. My flight got in around 6pm yesterday evening and I spent all day today in a Professional Selling Skills class at my corporate HQ. I have two more days of this to look forward to but then on Thursday night I will be heading downtown Chi town in my rental car to party it up with a buddy who lives near Wrigley Field. Early Friday afternoon I return to Alabama just in time to meet Susan for happy hour somewhere!

We had a fun time in Knoxville this past weekend. Susan and I hit the strip on campus around 9am Saturday morning and went and bought ourselves some new orange Tennessee gear. Around 10 we got a table at a watering hole and began to partake of a little alcohol refreshment. Soon my sister and her boyfriend and a friend of Susan's from Birmingham and his friend showed up. We all sat there and ate and drank till around 2pm when we worked our way to Neyland Stadium about a mile away.

The University of Tennessee football stadium is a sight to see. I believe it is the second or third largest in the nation, seating over 106,000 people. Our seats were about 6 rows from the very top of the upper section...major nose bleed! Watching a game in person is a nice experience, but quite cramped. They give you about 20" of bleacher space and 20" isn't enough to accommodate my sexy ass. So, once half time came around we decided to leave and go find a bar to watch the rest of the game. We did, drank some more beer and was very happy when UT pulled out the win over Alabama. It wasn't a pretty win, but a win none the less.

Well, there you have it. All caught up with Chuck. I will post this and then get ready to go out with some of my classmates for beer and dinner. Hope you all are doing well.

Marriage Made On-line Is On Hiatus...

2004-10-21T22:21:00.000-05:00

Dear Blog Friends,

Tomorrow (10-22-04) Susan, the boy and I will be heading to Tennessee to get drunk and attend the Tennessee/Alabama game. The boy will be with my parents, and not drinking, in case you were getting worried. Although I am sure he will have his fill of apple juice. Susan and I will be present at Neyland Stadium with 109,000 other crazed fans watching the Crimson Tide fall to the Volunteers of Tennessee. Ya'll be sure to look for us on CBS at 3:30 EST Saturday....I will be the one wearing orange.

We will get home late on Sunday then I fly out on Monday for a week in Chicago. I will only have my work lap top there with me, so I am not sure if I will be brave enough to try to post during that time. My company seems to frown upon using the corporate property for any internet usage that may contain things that could be viewed as questionable, such as this blog. So, since I need my job I doubt I will try to risk things by posting. Once I get home it will be Halloween weekend, so I am sure we'll be busy with carving pumpkins, getting costumes ready and trick or treating. I should be back in full force sometime around Monday the first of November. The day before we re-elect W, THE PRESIDENT.

I hope to find sometime during this hiatus to reconnect with you all, either by reading your blogs and commenting, or by posting and commenting here on my blog. But if I don't I hope you will understand. If push comes to shove and I get the blogger itch I can always go use the business center in the hotel lobby!!

Take care, be good and if I don't talk to you before hand, have a Happy Halloween!

Sincerely,

Chuck

System Restore...

2004-10-20T22:05:00.005-05:00

I have some questions for you. But first....

It seems that Monday night, while I was out of town, my daughter took it upon herself to download a bunch of shit from cartoonnetwork.com or some similar place. For the past two days my computer has been bombarded with pop ups. I went to the un-install place on here and found a few things I didn't recognize and promptly began to un-install them. As I would click through the steps it would ask me such questions as, "Are you sure you don't want to make up to $1000 a week clicking on ads?" or "If you click 'next' you will miss out on a nice second income." Even my blog was affected. Some of you may have noticed today that certain words were suddenly highlighted and hyper linked. Like, for example, the word pharmacy in the post about my ex wife. If you were to hover your cursor over said word you would get a message about buying prescription drugs online. This was just one of many examples. But alas, un-installing didn't work completely. I was left to have to do a system restore. I restored my computer back to last Monday. So I, in a way, took a cyber trip back in time. This left me thinking, as I sometimes on occasion will do....What would it be like if you could "system restore" your body and mind? You know, you go back to a certain point in time (you choose the date, just like with the computer) but you still have memories of things from the future (like how you keep current saved e-mails or friends list info, downloads, etc when you system restore.)

So my questions to you, my friends, are......At what point would you return to in your past, and why? What would you do differently if you could go back?

On The Road Again....

2004-10-18T13:18:00.000-05:00

I am heading down to Mobile, Alabama for work this afternoon and won't be back till Wednesday. Just thought I would let you all know in case you wondered why I wasn't posting.....Like that would happen! Oh and I will also be gone all next week to Chicago, then next month I will enjoy a week in San Diego. Looking forward to that, as well as an upcoming trip in February to Houston. I am hoping while I am there the Good Husband, Sparkey and I can get together for a little fun!

Had a pretty relaxing weekend around here. Didn't do much but eat, sleep and watch TV. We went to a great new Thai restaurant Friday night. It was quite delicious, my first taste of Thai food. Came home for some fun drunk sex.

Saturday we laid on our asses all day watching football. In the evening I made a pot of chili to eat while we watched the Tennessee game. I took three Gas-X before I ate and they did nothing to help the inevitable stinky chorus that made itself known about an hour later. But it was good, and the game turned out positively so who cares about a little gas...well maybe Susan, guess that's why I didn't get any that night.

Yesterday I cut the grass while Susan slept most of the day. Grilled out hamburgers in the evening and watched TV till bed. Oh yeah, there was also some more good sex right before Desperate Housewives came on. This time I broke out a condom so I could B.D.N. on the inside for a change. Damn, I wish she would get back on the pill.

Talk to ya'll later...

The Good "EX" Husband....

2004-10-15T16:59:00.000-05:00

I have taken yesterday and today off from work so I thought I would take the younguns to see that new shark movie. I had my son with me, but had to go pick up my daughter at my ex (F.A.) new apartment. She had been staying with her some this week, since it's fall break at school, helping her Mom move into the new place.

The ex wife never ceases to amaze me. She has been hired as a pharmacy tech making $12.oo an hour with benefits and all the trimmings. She could have started this new job this past Monday, but instead she decides to wait and start on the 25th. If she actually starts this job it will be her first real legal employment in years. We have been divorced for about a year and a half and in that time she worked at a gym for about three weeks and at a restaurant for a day. During this time she has lived off money her Mother has given her, donations from her church, money given by the adoptive parents of her baby, and the alimony we shell out. This is also her third home in the year and a half. She has been kicked out of the two previous places because she doesn't pay rent after the first few months. Now, and check this out, she has somehow got this fancy new apartment and the rent is $815 a month! That is only $70 less than my mortgage and I have a 2800 sq. ft. two story house! How in the hell is she going to pay for this? Susan and I have bets on how long she will keep this pharmacy job. Back around the time my son was born F.A. worked in the pharmacy at the local hospital for about two weeks, until they fired her for stealing Tylenol. I just don't see it lasting, but I do wish it would. Hell, I wish she would get her priorities straight and have a career and do something with herself, like get married. At least that would save us $500 a month in alimony.

So, anyway, I picked up my daughter and the three of us went to see Shark Tales....very cute movie. Will Smith is great! After the movie we call F.A. to tell her we are on our way back to her apt. She says she is getting her nails done so it will be a while before she gets back. Okay, the woman doesn't have money to, oh say pay her bills/buy groceries/gas for her car/help Susan and I out with buying the kids clothes/etc. but she sure as hell can get her nails done every other week? Just no priorities. I hope my kids don't inherit this trait from her.

So while we waited for her to get back from her nail appointment I put the beds together in her new luxury apartment. Ain't I a good ex husband??

2004-10-15T09:36:00.000-05:00

Now this lady would be a fun neighbor to have!

100 Things About Me....

2004-10-13T22:13:00.000-05:00

Since I am sure you are all dying to know this crap I thought I would take the time to put together a list as so many others have done.

1. I was born in the Appalachian Mountains of S.W. Virginia.
2. My parents were 17 when I was born.
3. They were not married when I was conceived.
4. I was 6 month old at their high school graduation.
5. As a child I was fixated on Star Wars, The Waltons and Little House On The Prairie.
6. I played football in school playing both offense and defensive line positions.
7. My dad was a body guard for the Governor of Virginia but left in '77 and we moved to eastern N.C.
8. My best friend in 6th-9th grades was our preachers son. He was a wild child.
9. I first smoked pot with this friend.
10. I first masturbated when I was in the eight grade.
11. My Mother's sister and her daughter lived with us for a while when I was a kid. My Dad's younger brother also did. He is my favorite uncle and always has been.
12. I am 6'5" tall.
13. I have weighed as much as 332 pounds before.
14. I lost almost 100 pounds on the Atkins Diet.
15. I lost my virginity in 11th grade on the day the space shuttle blew up.
16. I was very involved in theater during HS and college.
17. I have toured with two Broadway touring companies.
18. I have a nice singing voice but do not sing much outside of the car.
19. I worked a summer as the Pirate Capt. at the Treasure Ship on Panama City Beach. I had tourists convinced I was an English student spending the summer in the US.
20. My family and I moved to Panama City when I was in the 9th grade.
21. Once, in 11th grade, I let a very unattractive girl jack me off in the woods near our neighborhood only because she promised to help me in math.
22. I once, in 10th grade, watched as a friend made a slightly retarded older girl give him a bj. I still feel bad about not stopping him from doing that.
23. I dated a petite girl in 11th grade named Becky. I called her Beckums and she called me Chuckums.
24. I met the girl I dated for three years while we were both in the Sound Of Music. I was Capt. Von Trapp and she was Sister Margereta.
25. I went to community college on a theater scholarship.
26. The summer I worked as a Pirate Capt I had sex with a tourist girl who told me she was 18, but I later found out was 15. I was almost 19 years old at the time.
27. I can still remember her red panties and how much older she seemed.
28. I have used Copenhagen snuff since I was 15 years old, although not as much now as I used to.
29. I transferred to a liberal arts university in Alabama after my two years were up at community college.
30. I knew not a soul when I got to university.
31. I went as a theater major, but changed my major when I learned I was the only straight guy in the dept.
32. I pledged and was a member of Delta Chi Fraternity.
33. Fraternity initiation left me with both scary and happy memories.
34. I later became Pledge Master and took my pledges to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.
35. I was involved in an interdenominational ministry in college called Campus Outreach.
36. I cheated on my 3 year girlfriend from back home with a sorority girl.
37. When I told my girlfriend about it over Thanksgiving break she threw a glass of water in my face.
38. The sorority girl became my wife (F.A.) two years later.
39. F.A. (the later ex wife) and I dated for two years.
40. I broke up with FA twice so I could date, and have sex with, two other girls.
41. Had I not been concerned with what people would have thought about me I would have walked away from her at the alter on the day we married.
42. The first two years of my first marriage were great, it went down hill after that.
43. I have two children, a girl 11 and a boy 4.
44. In 2000 my (then) wife told me I could have sex with other women as often as I want as long as I don't form an attraction and I don't bring home any disease.
45. I didn't make use of her offer for a while.
46. I have paid for sex.
47. I was with an escort on the night of Sept.10, 2001 at a hotel in a city where I was working.
48. I felt terrible the next day when the world suddenly changed, thinking about what it was I had done the night before.
49. I have always wanted to own a Corvette.
50. I would love to drive a Hummer.
51. I have very bad organizational skills.
52. I have discovered that I like working in the yard.
53. The house I live in now is the only house I have ever owned. I always rented before.
54. I would love to have a dog, but hate the house training thing.
55. I once used cocaine regularly for two months back in the early 90's. I have no desire to try it again.
56. I tend to keep my pubes trimmed and my balls shaved.
57. I enjoy cutting grass because it gives me time to think about things.
58. I am still a big Star Wars fan and have read all the Expanded Universe novels that have been written.
59. I am very romantic and would love more opportunity to be so.
60. I love to kiss, real deep sexy kissing but rarely get to do it.
61. In the past year I have discovered that I love to paint (walls) and I think I am pretty good at it.
62. I met my second, and last, wife in a Yahoo chat room.
63. I have never felt love like I feel for my wife.
64. Being married to my wife hasn't been easy for either of us. We have had quite a few hurdles to overcome.
65. Having a beer while watering flowers is something I love to do.
66. I worry how my divorce will affect my children as they grow up.
67. I love my children more than I can imagine.
68. I am so thankful that things worked out so I can be the primary custodial parent.
69. I love the way my wife can make me laugh just by saying something stupid.
70. I am most definitely a T&A man. I love boobies and booty.
71. I take anti depressant medication although I doubt deep down whether I need to be taking it.
72. I have never been out of the country, but I would love to travel to Europe.
73. I love my wife's breasts.
74. I still get a little scared watching The Exorcist.
75. My 4th Great Grandmother on my Dad's Father's side was the sister of Nancy Hanks, Abraham Lincoln's Mother.
76. I have been told that I have sexy hands.
77. I am proud that my wife is so driven in her career.
78. I want to exercise more frequently.
79. I have always had a deep feeling that I wouldn't live past the age of 53.
80. I will be 36 years old on November 26th.
81. Sometimes I worry that my ex wife will never do anything with her life but live off the aid of others.
82. I have had sex or some sort of sexual relations with more than 30 women. I am glad that I have got that out of my system and am over the need to explore.
83. I would be willing to have sex less frequently with my wife if only it could be more intimate and intense when we do.
84. Blue is my favorite color but for years I had to repress this favoritism because I worked for Coca-Cola and nothing blue (Pepsi colored) could be tolerated.
85. I am fortunate to now have the job that I have and love it. I also think the world of my boss.
86. Good friends are something that I covet and never want to do without.
87. Other than having met my wife through the Internet, I personally feel that it does more harm than good.
88. I have exposed myself, by request, on web cam.
89. The first time I had phone sex with my wife (we weren't married at the time) I faked it.
90. I had nightmares as a child that involved Herman Munster.
91. My Dad's first name is Herman. I am glad I wasn't made a Jr.
92. As a very young child I was forced to drink urine from a Mello Yello bottle by some teenagers.
93. I have only ever been in one fist fight and I won.
94. The first girl I ever kissed name was Kelly and it was in the 2nd grade.
95. My first paying job was as a disc jockey when I was in 7th grade.
96. I have worked as a bouncer and as a bartender.
97. When I was in kindergarten during nap time I would look forward to my teacher walking by my mat so I could look up her dress from my position on the floor.
98. I take pride in detailing my wife's car, usually once a week.
99. I could spend all day watching movies if allowed.
100. When my wife says she loves me right as I cum it secretly makes me happy.

Well I did it and I could go on, but most likely you have skipped over this post anyway. It was kind of fun. Some of these things I haven't thought about in years.

Ain't much been going on 'round here....

2004-10-11T17:45:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted with much substance lately. For this I am sorry. I guess if I were a good blogger I would dive back into stories of my past with which to entertain you. As it stands here lately I have been trying to keep my head above water with work and haven't had much time to devote to my site. I hope to change all that soon.

Now, let's see....what all has been going on with Chuck and Susan? Thursday I had Dish Network installed. Got the All Access NFL package which came with four months of all programming for free. So far I have been pretty satisfied with the service and all the on screen bells and whistles. I know some of you have told me that DN sucks, guess I will have to wait and see. This was another kid-free weekend, but we didn't do much. Friday night I made a big pot of spaghetti and meat balls, salad and bread. We ate and watched a couple movies. Saturday morning Susan got up and went grocery shopping while I slept in a little. Afterwards we dropped her car off to have the front break pads replaced and headed into the city for lunch and shopping. We chose a BBQ restaurant called Jim and Nicks for lunch, found a table near the bar so we could smoke and watch some of the Alabama game. Our BBQ Nachos arrived complete with a 12" hair mixed in with the cheese. Unfortunately that sometimes happens, and the manager was quick to comp the whole bill. So we ate, what would have been a $35 lunch (complete with a few beers) for free. I was sure to tip the waitress a good 30%, hell why not....wasn't like I had to pay for the food or beer! The lunch was very good, sans hair. Afterwards we shopped a little at the mall, then went to Best Buy and I got us a new tv for our bedroom. Not the 27" screen (she was wanting) but the 32" screen I was hoping for. Came home and set it up in the bedroom, and it looks HUGE. I am sure this is because it is positioned between the bathroom and closet door on a wall span of about 6'. With it sitting up on it's stand it pretty much takes up the whole wall.

The rest of Saturday was taken up with college football. That, of course, is the normal way to spend a Saturday from Sept. through Nov. We watched Bama win, LSU win (love when Florida loses), some of the USC game, some of the OU/Texas game and of course we watched the Tennessee Volunteers shock the football world by beating U of Georgia. My sister and Susan were the only people I know who thought UT was going to win. It was a wonderful game, and we ended the night with a natural high brought on by the football victory as well as nice, hard and forceful mutual orgasms.

Sunday it rained and neither of us were in the mood to do much. We laid in bed and watched Jersey Girl (decent movie) and somewhere in the middle of the film I found myself with a pulsing erection (Liv Tyler does that too me!) and asked Susan to take off her panties and let me enter her from behind. She, surprisingly agreed, and fifteen seconds later I was pounding away whilst Ben and Liv entertained us on the new 32" screen! Ah, nice memory. Once we were done she informed me that since I had gotten it then I wouldn't be getting any later that night. Okay, I was fine with that. I spent the next couple hours watching movies while Susan took a nap. The remake of The Lion In Winter with Patrick Stewart and Glenn Close was excellent. If you like historical drama then this is one to see. In the evening we watched The Bourne Identity since Susan had never seen it. Now we're ready for the sequel to come out on DVD! Around 8pm the kids returned from spending time with their Mother and we all prepared for bed. Susan and I watched Desperate Housewives again as well as Boston Legal. Susan fell asleep and I switched it over and watched porn on Cinemax. The simulated sex definitely looks better on a bigger screen!

Today I have been busy with work. Now I think I will crack open a couple beers and get some dinner ready for the kids.

Marriage Made In Cyberspace....

2004-10-09T00:27:00.000-05:00

Saw this article title in my local paper today and just thought I should share the link. The couple met on-line, (sound familiar?), and have now joined together as man and wife, but the way they did it is pretty cool....It's an interesting story, check it out here. For some reason the pictures won't show up in the link, but they are a cute couple just in case you were wondering. I love the comment from the groom's Father!

I'll get back with more later. I sure hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Just Another Hump Day....

2004-10-06T21:05:00.000-05:00

Hello all, I sure hope everyone is having a nice week. I haven't posted in a couple days so I thought I would jump back in and catch ya'll up on my ever so exciting life.

Yesterday was a typical day spent busy with work. In the early evening we went to watch my daughter's first choral concert at her school. The 6th, 7th and 8th grade choirs performed and everyone did wonderfully. I sure was proud of my girl! Afterwards we slipped into the Taco Bell drive thru and hurried home to watch the debate. It was quite a show. VP Cheney kicked ass! After the not so stellar performance of the President last week it was nice to see the VP "make Little Johnny Edwards his bitch". Quote is from Dick, not the VP but this Dick, but it was my thought as well. Dick also found a picture of Edwards after the debate that I hope he won't mind me sharing here. I am definitely looking forward to the Presidential Debate this Friday night.

Today I made a new friend. You all need to go check out the blog of One Single Mom. She is a self described Trailer Park Queen, and a mighty fine lady to boot. You gotta love those fine Texan women. Be sure to tell her I sent you!

The ex came and picked up the kids for the night and Susan and I decided to meet up in Hoover at a new restaurant. It was pretty good. (Liesl, if you and Kevin haven't checked it out yet you should). For appetizers we had a crab cake and fried lobster. For the main course I had the fillet mignon with crab on top (forget what it was called but it was very good) and Susan had some kind of stuffed grouper. Throw in a couple Black and Tans and it was an awesome meal ($100 later).

We came home with the house to ourselves and had a little porn style Hump Day activity. I won't bore you with the details but I assure you it was almost as good as being naked, taking digital pics, in a hot tub/pool with friends.

Tomorrow I am giving up Dish Network for Direct TV. The guy will be here between 8 and 10 tomorrow morning to install it. They had too good a deal to pass up, but I will miss the soft core porn on Cinemax.

Later ya'll....

Weekend Recap...

2004-10-04T18:55:00.000-05:00

Before I fill you all in on the exciting weekend around casa Chuck I want to thank those of you who have participated in my little questionnaire. So many of you haven't participated though...why is that? I have had over 250 hits just since I put up the post. I have noticed that a few of you have come from as far away as India, Egypt, Norway, Ireland...oh, and Texas. Come on, tell us about you'uns (as they say in East Tennessee). Here is the link in case you are unable to scroll down to the last post.

This weekend was quite relaxing thanks to the ex having both kids the whole time. Friday night Susan and I went out to a new (for us) restaurant serving Cajun cuisine. We each had the fried seafood platter with catfish, shrimp, oysters and crab claws. Damn, what a feast! Before we dined we drove out to a car dealership, 45 minutes away, to drop off some ticket to the Talladega race. The dealer is one of Susan's customers so hopefully her generosity will help her gain more sales dollars from him. After dinner we drove home, both too full to do much else.

Saturday morning we awoke at 8:00 so we could take Susan's car in to have it serviced. It needed an oil change, tire rotation and alignment. While it was being serviced we went to Best Buy to price new TV's. We are wanting to upgrade the 20" one we have in our bedroom to at least a 32". Susan doesn't think we need a screen this big but I have tried to explain to her the reasons why. You see, the Master Bedroom is pretty large, 20'x20', and once I have climbed into bed at night looking to watch some softcore porn on Cinemax it can be hard to see on that small of a screen. Especially after I have taken out my contacts. My glasses are slightly weaker than my contact prescription. So, I think a 32" TV is the minimum we should be considering. Don't you agree?

After we TV shopped we went to the grocery store to stock up on supplies needed for our afternoon/night of college football. We then went and picked up her car and headed home. While she took a nap I started cooking. I made BBQ pork ribs, hot German potato salad and baked beans. Susan later made another of her flowerless chocolate cakes. While all that was cooking, and after Susan woke up, we watched LSU get stomped, Bama fall (as usual), and our beloved Tennessee Volunteers decide to not even show up for the game against Auburn. Somewhere during all the football watching we managed to eat. As painful as it was to watch, we were able to stick with the UT/AU game till the end, but the disgusting football display wasn't bad enough to deter us from playing a "ball" game of our own later in bed! Yeah, we both managed to put the loss behind us and enjoyed some sloppy wet, mutually fulfilling, fun betwix the sheets.

Sunday morning we had decided to sleep in. I made it till around 9am, Susan managed to sleep till about 1pm. We pretty much didn't do much but lay around reading the paper, watching NFL games and of course having some more fun times in bed. This time I found myself laying there next to her, during one of her waking periods, as she scooted over closer to me and began to play with lil'Chuck under my boxers. We both had a few laughs as she, using her thumb and pointer finger, manipulated lil'Chuck's hole making him say various words and phrases. I know it sounds pretty dumb now, but at the time it was pretty damn funny. Guys imagine looking down and watching as your wife makes your pee hole seem to speak words right before your eyes. Kind of like a puppet show! Oh well, (I cant believe I have confessed that), we finished up by having some more porn quality sex, then she went back to sleep (surprise). In the evening the daughter returned home and Susan and I watched the new ABC shows "Desperate Housewives" and "Boston Legal". We enjoyed both, (really they were excellent!) then I watched the Brady Bunch Reunion Special on TV Land entitled Still Brady After All These Years as Susan drifted off to a snoring slumber. I have always been a Brady Bunch fan. Not being really old enough to enjoy the show when it was in it's first run I became a fan watching it on WTBS in the late 70's and early 80's. Being a latch key kid had it's advantages thanks to Ted Turner and his upstart network. Cruising through the TV Land website I found a section with classic TV show theme songs. Just in case you all would like to listen to a few of them....here is the link. Go listen to your favorites and take a trip back in time with me. Now I am listening to the Family Ties song....

Okay, I think I have rambled on and provided enough links for one day. Hope everyone has had a nice Monday!

Edit 11:30pm: I am curious to know who the AOL using reader from Troy, Alabama is who has been silently frequenting my sight lately. Let yourself be known, if not via comments then choose email. Maybe we could get together sometime for a beer! I am down that way once a month...we're practically neighbors.

So, tell me about you....

2004-10-02T22:15:00.000-05:00

This may seem stupid, but I would really like to know a little something about you who visit my blog. Since I added my counter and statistical info I have been able to see who is coming and from where, but there is just so much an IP address can give. Using an IP locator I can see, with a minimal amount of certainty, the city/state/country you're from. Discovering that I have visitors from all over the U.S. and around the world has made me wonder a little about your individual story. I read some of your blogs so I know a little about a few of you, but based on the statistical info there are so many more who visit my little corner of cyber space than the handful of bloggers out there that I keep up with.

So I am going to ask you to tell me a little about you. Feel free to remain as anonymous as you want, but I have put together a few questions you can answer in the comments section. Indulge me if you don't mind....

1. Your state/providence/country
2. Your sex
3. Marital status
4. Number of children
5. Education level
6. Favorite sport team
7. Political beliefs
8. Work field
9. Major hobbies
10. Favorite food
11. Age when you lost your virginity

That should do it, feel free to add anything else you would like, or omit any you don't like. Thanks in advance for taking the time!

Oh, by the way....tonight has not been a good night for Susan and I due to this. Sad, very sad....

I will start this off by being the first to comment.

200 Things....

2004-10-01T16:28:00.000-05:00

If it's something I have done, then it's in bold type.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said ˜I love you" and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten my own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Rode on a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it.
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Rode a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Rode on a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Rode a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via Blogger
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

Had Lunch With Jeff Burton....

2004-09-30T16:50:00.000-05:00

Well, not actually with him but in the same restaurant. Susan's company was having a promo thing at Outback and it was an "invitation only" affair. He was the guest of honor. They had all you could eat steak, ribs and chicken, plus Caesar salad and a blooming onion. No booze though....damn. I went for the free meat only since I could care less about Nascar. Could have had a chance to meet him and get an autograph but didn't do it.

Susan got mad at me this morning when I informed her that I had filled out and planned on mailing an application to be on the ABC show "Wife Swap". I think we would have a good chance of being candidates due to the circumstances of our marriage. She doesn't think it would be a good idea. The premise of the show, in a nut shell, is two women swap places for two weeks. They move into the other's home and interact with the other husband and kids. During the first week the swapped wife has to live by the rules of the wife she is replacing, doing everything the absent wife has to do around the house. Then the second week she gets to change the rules to how she would want it to be. The two families are different in many ways. Last night one was a millionaire Manhattan family and the other was middle class New Jersey. The Jersey wife had her own wood cutting business that the rich woman had to take over for the first week. I told Susan she might get lucky and get to live with some mega rich family. She said she would most likely get stuck on some pig farm in South Georgia. I was sure to add that the wife who moved in here would have it made during the first week seeing as Susan doesn't do much around here except sleep! She didn't think that was funny. I was joking anyway.....right?

In my slightly drunken state last night, after having filled out the application, I went ahead and put it in the mailbox. After our exchange this morning I took it out before the mail lady came. I am undecided about sending it. What do ya'll think? I know the chances of getting picked are slim to none, but still it's kind of exciting to think about. Heck, Chuck could be a TV star!! I wonder if it's true that the camera adds 15 pounds....

The ex, F.A., is M.I.A. Haven't heard from her since Tuesday. It is unusual if she doesn't call at least twice a day. Usually it is more like 4 or 5 times. I called her yesterday twice and left two messages on her cell phone. She didn't return either and hasn't called today. I know I should be concerned since she has attempted suicide twice in the past six months, but I just can't get up the desire to try and call her again. I know she has to be out of her house by today. With no where to move she will have to go live in a women's shelter. Most likely she is tied up with moving, but still, it's weird to not hear from her at least once. Maybe she is laid up with some guy and is falling in love at this very moment. That would be great. It would be nice to have her out of my hair and off my payroll (alimony). She needs to become some other man's problem.

Everyone going to be watching the debates tonight? We sure will! I am looking forward to all three of them. I think they will be very revealing and should help continue to increase the spread between the two. Also, what is the deal with Jimmy Carter? As one of the worst Presidents of the twentieth century, do people really care what the old man has to say? Jimmy it is time to just chill out in Plains, go back to teaching Sunday School or go hang out some more with your buddy down in Cuba.

Well that's it for now. Got to go pick up my daughter from the carnival at her school. The school managed to wrestle another $15 out of me for this little affair. Hope she is having fun.

Later ya'll......

It's Been A Busy Week....Up until now....

2004-09-29T17:40:00.000-05:00

I have worked more in the past three days than I have in the past two weeks! Yes, I know that's sad, but I have got a lot of good stuff done so far this week.

The Food Show turned out okay. Those of you who commented on my last post about how nice working those shows sounds, should realize that it isn't all food, food, food. It mostly involves standing for 8 to 10 hours waiting for a customer to come to your booth. When you have a booth at a food show, and your products aren't food, your not one of the more popular booths in the place! But....without my product (to-go type containers) there wouldn't be the ever popular carry out or doggie bags, now would there? So I try to encourage more visitors by having tons of candy, but that usually only attracts the children of the customers! Anyway, it was a good show, I ate way too much, but made a few good contacts. Yesterday I got my wife and her friend Susie G. into the show. They walked around the place and ate like pigs! Last night my boss and I went out for drinks and steaks. Today we made a few customer calls and I took him to the airport by 2.

I had been hearing about this Gmail thing now for a month or so and the other day The Good Wife had a post where she was wondering what was so special about it. I too had been wondering, and thanks to R.D. Turpin and his invitation I now have a Gmail address (chuck116@gmail.com). I read some of RD's blog and it seems he and I are sort of neighbors, he is in Atlanta. I only hope he doesn't regret wasting an invite on me once my UT VOLS come to Athens and kick some UGA butt! Thanks RD!

I feel so out of things "blog wise". I haven't had the chance to read all the many blogs I read daily since I have been out of the office for the past three days. Tomorrow, once I catch up on administrative work, I will have to put on my "blog whore" hat and go back and read all your posts that I have missed this week! I won't get the chance to catch up tonight....I have to watch Wife Swap. Have you all seen this new show? It's better than the one on Fox, I think. Then tomorrow night I will be watching the debates. Looking forward to seeing how many more points Dubbya can gain in the polls. It should be very interesting to watch.

Okay, that's all for now....have to make something for these kids to eat. Later ya'll.....

Long Ass Day...

2004-09-27T21:35:00.000-05:00

Haven't been home too long tonight, maybe about 30 minutes tops. Had a chance to check out my comments and respond to them and notice that I have had 335 hits on my site since Friday. I really appreciate all of you who check me out daily. I just hope I can write something that will make you want to keep coming back. Unfortunately tonight won't be one of those posts.

I left the house this morning at 6am and took the boy to preschool. After I settled him in to school I headed downtown to the Birmingham Jefferson Civic Center (BJCC) for a food show for one of my major customers. I had set up a booth, nicely decorated with my products featured as well as some candy (people love free candy). Susan helped me make everything look as good as it could look since I am a man and I (obviously) don't know how to decorate. I spent the whole day standing there, greeting customers, taking orders, and eating as much free food as I could eat.

If you have never been to a food show, you don't know what you're missing. Imagine walking into an arena type setting and laid out before you there are over 300 booths with everything from chicken strips, chicken wings, grilled chicken, cheese sticks, pasta (every kind you could imagine), seafood; lobster, catfish, scallops, shrimp (fired, grilled, etc.), oysters, prime rib, steak, fillet, hamburgers, ham, bacon, sausage, turkey, chicken, every type of potato ( chips, fires, waffles, seasoned/plain, baked and mashed). Then there is the soups...all types. Next you come to the breads....every kind you could imagine, from bisquits to seasoned bread sticks. You walk a little further and you get to the fruits and vegetables....I am sure you can imagine all that is availble in this area, there is even dips you can try for your fruits or veggies. After this you find the dessert section. OMG, there is everything under the sun. I won't even try to elaborate here...just imagine the cakes and pies and ice creams....But, don't forget the coffee and tea and water booths....you won't have to worry about being thirsty.

This is what I have been dealing with all day today, as well as tomorrow. Needless to say I am not hungry in the least. Having one of the few booths without food, you can imagine that I am not as popular as most of the others...It makes for a Looooong Day!!

After I left the show this afternoon I took T.J. (he flew in to help me) back to the airport and headed down to the Irish Deli to meet Susan and Susie G. for a couple drinks. We had a good time, then I followed Susan back towards home, but I stopped off to wash my car. My boss is coming in tomorrow to help me for the second day of the show so I wanted my company car to look as clean as possible. When I got home I parked it in the garage and vacuumed it out real well and sprayed some Frabreeze to get rid of any nasty smells.

Now it is 10pm and I am ready for bed. It will probably be Wednesday night before I can post again, so feel free to comment. I will find the time to read them and respond.

Later ya'll....

forgive the mispellings....spellcheck isn't working tonight and I am too tired to try and check back over everything!

Dang, I Almost Forgot....

2004-09-26T00:50:00.000-05:00

GO VOLS!! How about a nice little win last night! 3 and 0....Unfortunately the game wasn't televised, it was against Louisiana Tech after all, but my sister was watching it on pay-per-view in Knoxville. She called ever so often to fill me in while we were out to dinner.

The VOLS might have started out a bit slow, but a 42-17 win is nice, even if it isn't a conference game. This is their second win this season with the same score (1st game against UNLV). Next Saturday will be the second big conference game for the VOLS....after beating Florida last week, Auburn will be the next to fall.

Happy Birthday Susan!

2004-09-26T00:27:00.000-05:00

Today my beautiful wife turns 34.

All last week I have been planning on a surprise birthday gathering at The Tavern On The Summit. I called her best friend Susie G., her previous boss Steve, her sister who lives in Georgia, and a good buddy of hers from back home in Tennessee. Susie G. had also contacted a couple other of Susan's friends from work for me. Well unfortunately all but Susie G. were unable to show up...but she was still surprised and we had a nice time. It was fun, the three of us, drinking and eating way too much. My lovely wife was very pleased, telling me that she wasn't upset that no one else had showed since her two favorite people were there! We left the restaurant, thanked Susie G, told her goodbye and went to Wal*Mart to buy supplies for her BD dinner for later today.

When we got home she told me that she wanted to reward me for being such a thoughtful husband. I got to lay back in the bed while she spent sometime giving an oral thank you...(damn woman, watch the teeth!). After a few minutes I had her turn around and I entered her from behind. We weren't three minutes into it and she was coming. I let her finish her orgasm then pulled out and laid back down. I just wasn't too into it anymore. Maybe I had had one too many Black & Tans at the Tavern. I don't know, I just didn't feel like finishing the deed. I did get to get off during a "quickie" that morning so it wasn't like I had gone the day without getting to B.D.N.

For her birthday dinner later today Susan is wanting turkey, dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes, greenbean casserole and deviled eggs. Sounds like Thanksgiving, huh? Well my Mom had called earlier in the week and told us how she had made a turkey breast for dinner one night and we got to thinking how good that sounded, so.....that's what we're having for dinner tonight. I am actually looking forward to it. I had bought a 6 lb. Butterball breast earlier in the week and it is thawing nicely in the fridge as I type this. Buddy Jim has given me his recipe for dressing, so I will be sure to let you all know how it all turns out. Oh, I almost forgot....Susan made a flowerless chocolate cake for desert. Damn it's good. If you haven't had one before you need to try it. I would be happy to send the recipe link if you'd like it, just don't feel like looking it up now. Just let me know...

I will try to post something later today, but that will probably be it till late Wednesday or Thursday. I have a food show to attend on Monday and Tuesday and will be working with my boss on Wednesday, so my personal computer time will be at a minimum.

Happy Birthday Baby, I love you!!

The orange tonight is in honor of my wife, a Tennessee grad...

A Few New Additions To My Blog....

2004-09-24T16:50:00.000-05:00

I am not sure if you have noticed or not but yesterday, about 22 hours ago, I added a counter to my site. As of right now I have had 113 visits to my boring little corner of cyber space. If you deduct the 7 times I checked out my site today that still leaves 106 visits in less than 24 hours. Wow, I am feeling good. I had no idea there were that many people checking on, or reading, my site.

I also went ahead and added the "referring pages" info and the "number of readers on-line" info. As I type this there are four people reading....I know I am one of them, but still....wow!

So, here is the deal...I want to invite all of you to spiff up your blog with these features. Many of you may have already done so, but for those who haven't, scroll down to the very bottom of this page. You will see a large banner for Bravenet. Click on that and sign up (it's free) then you can add all these exciting features, and more, to your own site. If you are a blogger novice like me, I would be happy to help you out. Just let me know....

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away....

2004-09-23T16:14:00.000-05:00

There hasn't been much going on with me lately, but I thought I might as well post something anyway.

The past two days have pretty much been made up of working and watching Star Wars DVD's. Last night Susan and I were without the kids, and we ordered pizza and watched the Dr. Phil Prime Time Special.

In the past couple days I have noticed that several blogs I read have mentioned the new Star Wars DVD release and these bloggers have talked about what an influence SW has been in their lives. I thought I would do the same here....hey, I know, most of you could care less about SW...but like I said, there hasn't been much else going on lately.

I didn't see the movie when it first came out. I think it was probably late summer/early fall before I first saw it. My parents and I were living in an Eastern North Carolina town in late 1977. This town, Elizabeth City, only had one theater. It was a two screen place near the mall. I have a vague memory of my Mother telling me I was going to go see a movie on Saturday. "It's a space movie with monsters in it." I think she said. She dropped me off at the theater, you could do that with kids in those days and in that town, and a nine year old Chuck settled in for the show. I didn't really know what I was to expect, but I remember vividly the 20th Century Fox logo, the drums and trumpets, then the "A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away...." message on the screen. (Pause) Then the music and the name, "STAR WARS" popped up on the screen. I sat there spell bound during the whole thing. I don't really remember any particular thought I had other than knowing that this was unlike anything thing else I had experienced in my young life.

Over the next few weeks I would be dropped off at the theater, pay for the first showing and sit though it two or three times. I am sure my parents enjoyed this time alone on Saturdays, and now, looking back, I wonder why it took them four more years before my sister was conceived!

Another SW memory was the first time I got some of the action figures. It must have been soon after I had first seen it. We went to "Roses" a department store in the little mall we had in the town. I was only allowed to buy two of them, so I picked R2D2 and C3PO. A week or so later I had enough money saved and I bought Han Solo and Princess Leia. I remember getting in the car, showing my dad what I had bought, and him saying..."Why did you buy a doll? Didn't they have any other "boy" action figures?" I assured him that the Leia action figure wasn't like a Barbie, and it would be needed to complete the set. Over the next few years I collected them all, plus the ships and other play sets. With the release of the other movies I got more and more of the toys. I still have them now. I have been saving them for my kids.

Another SW memory....My Dad taking me to see The Empire Strikes Back. About half way through the movie he turns to me and tells me he is going out to the lobby to have a cigarette. He assures me that he would watch through the window in the door so he wouldn't miss anything, (like he really cared!). He gets up, takes three steps up the aisle and falls flat on his face. His leg had gone to sleep while sitting there and it didn't want to do what his brain was telling it. OMG, how embarrassing....he got up, told me he was okay, and I slumped down in my seat hoping no one would connect the two of us together!

My cousins (Jimmy's 2 older sisters) and I would have some good SW times when our families would get together. Anna, the oldest of the two, had all the large size action figures. You know, the 12" ones. I was always Han and Luke and she was Leia. We used the Barbie RV as the Millennium Falcon and we had some great adventures. Since Anna was Leia, we had to create a character for her younger sister, Kristen, to be. We took a Barbie doll, with overly frizzy hair, and named her Barbie Hairball....another female Rebel hero from some planet where having neat hair isn't mandatory!

I have always been more attracted to the fantasy element of SW, than the science fiction. I consider Lucas on par with two other of my favorite writers, Tolkien and Robert Jordan. If you like fantasy and you have never read Jordan, you need to do it.

These are just a few of my Star Wars memories. I won't bore you with anymore. Mr. Lucas' fantasy series has played a major role in my life. I look forward to getting my boy into it too.

P.S. Please don't be thinking I am some greasy haired SciFi geek, I am not. Just a guy here, like millions of others, who loves Star Wars.

Star Wars Episodes IV - VI Released On DVD Today!

2004-09-21T17:55:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I guess I never told ya'll I am a Star Wars geek....

Worked hard this morning till around 10:30, then showered and got ready since I had a dentist appointment at 11:00. All checked out well, then I went and picked up Buddy Jim at his house. Haven't seen him in a few weeks. He wanted to take me to one of the older restaurants in Birmingham so I could experience some good downhome cooking. We went to Lloyds Restaurant, in business since 1937, and had a feast. With his suggestion we ordered something not on the menu. It's called the "Sheriff Special" and was a huge plate filled with hamburger steak covered in onions and gravy, sliced BBQ, french fries, and onion rings. There was also salad (nothing fancy, just lettuce and three kinds of dressing) and bread. Came home and worked hard again till now. The lunch was very good and five hours later I am still full!!

After lunch we went over to Wal*Mart and I bought the new SW DVDs. I won't bore you with tales of how much Star Wars has meant to me in my life, but let me just say this....At the risk of sounding a bit geeky, I consider myself to be a SW expert. Go ahead and ask me any questions....I bet I will know the answers.

Now, back to the weekend. Even now I am a little sore in my legs, arms and back. I know what you're thinking, but it is not from wild freaky sex. It is from working my ass off in the yard. Although there was some wild and freaky sex, what would a weekend be without that? But I won't bore you with those details.

Anyway, Susan got it in her mind that we needed to get rid of the shrubs along the side of the house leading up to the front door. She dug up one of them on Friday afternoon while I was busy in the back yard, with a chain saw, getting rid of one of our Cyprus trees that had a bit of a fight with Ivan. On Saturday we took a trip to Lowes and bought three Encore Azaleas bushes. They are unique because they bloom five times a year. We spent the rest of the day digging up the old shrubs and planting the new ones. After they were planted I added some top soil and mulch. It all looks good, but damn...all that shovelling has left me a little worse for wear. It sucks getting older. I will be 36 in late November and I feel like I am 60!

Who Wants To Host A Kid's Birthday Party?

2004-09-20T21:52:00.000-05:00

Not me, nope, never again. I resolve from this day forward to have the boy's birthday party at a place where someone else does all the work. I don't care how much it may cost, I will never open my home to a shit load of 4-6 year old kids, and their parents, again. It was ever so stressfull for Susan and I.

First I have to give you a little back ground story. As you may have read, we live on a cul-de-sac, or the Sac, as I like to call it. On the Sac there are exactly eight boys all under the age of six. Two of these boys are bothers and their parents, D & L, and I haven't gotten along for about a year and a half now. It all started with the ex wife and a comment she made to the wife, L, right before she moved out of the house. Knowing that I was going to continue living here with the kids she resolved to ruin my rep with the Sac neighbors by going to the biggest mouth on the Sac and spreading a viscous lie about me. She told the neighbor lady, L, that I had always wanted to have a foursome with she and her husband and me and the ex. By foursome I am not referring to golf, okay? Well L told her husband D and D came over to have a few "words" with me. He acknowledged that they figured my ex, FA, was crazy and doubted what she had said was true, but he felt like my family and his shouldn't talk until this all blew over. I told him I understood, and confirmed that what she had said was crazy and a lie, and agreed to let it blow over. Well fast forward a year and a half later.....we still hadn't talked. Not only had we not spoken, but we never even waved to each other as we drove in and out of the Sac. Well during all this time I learned, from the more normal neighbors of the Sac, that both D and L and their kids were a little off and couldn't be trusted. Seems the oldest kid (6 years old) had threatened and or hurt some of the other kids on the street and it seems that D had gotten into it with Chris, two door to my right, and threatened to "kick his ass" just because Chris had accidentally trimmed the grass along the sidewalk on D's property. This was just one occasion of many for the other neighbors in their relations with D&L over the years. Since yesterday I have heard quite a few tales about the crazy shit that D&L have done 'round the Sac.

Well, so you can imagine my surprise when a week ago their oldest kid comes to the door one afternoon and informs me that my son, L, had invited him to the birthday party. Damn, L...can't you keep your mouth shut!! LOL So of course, when the invitations were made out and delivered, by my daughter, I had to include D&L's two brat kids. So, yesterday they all show up, the whole family. They proceed to come into my house, plop down on my couch and let their kids run wild around upstairs. It was so weird having these two sitting in my house. I had not been within 30 yards of them in well over a year and to be honest I couldn't even remember what they looked like close up. It got me instantly stressed, because I never figured the whole family would show up. I just thought they would send the brat 6 year old across the street and the rest would stay home. Well, soon after the rest of the parents and kids showed up. Within minutes I had a house full of screaming little boys, and their parents. D&L's brat kids were going around pushing or hitting the other kids and they did nothing to stop it. Their youngest kid dropped his cake three (3) times (3 different pieces) and the wife, L, kept asking me to give him another piece. Damn woman, make him eat the dropped cake...haven't you ever heard of the 3 second rule? I was literally sweating through my shirt from all the stress....serving hotdogs, chips, dip, cake and ice cream....then sitting through the present opening episode was just too much. Hell I didn't even get to take any decent pictures thanks to all the work I had to do. My son will never have another 4th birthday and, even though I was there, I missed most of it due to the stress.

The party began at 4:05 pm yesterday and was over at 4:55 pm. I rushed the hell out of this event. That fifty minutes included play time, hotdog eating, the cake/candles/BD song, and the present opening. I was ready for it to be over. I wanted a cigarette and a drink right away! Luckily my son didn't notice the stress the old man was under and had the time of his life. He got some awesome presents, had a great time and can proudly proclaim now that he is (holding up 4 fingers) four years old.

Next year it will be at Chuckie Cheese or this place. The place on the link is awesome...took the kids to one of the other Sac kid's BD party there on Saturday (D&L's kids weren't invited) and that is the joint to have a kid's party.

Oh, BTW, I downloaded the Haloscan comment thing and I have lost all the previous comments to all my old posts. I hate that, as I used to like to go back and read what you all had to say over and over again. Oh well, guess I will have to look forward to all the new comments in the future. Hopefully I can find it in me to post something worth a comment.

Edit: I will post tomorrow about all the other excitement from the past weekend. Let's just say, for now, that I am a bit sore today...

Slither Your Asses On Back To The Swamp!!

2004-09-18T22:52:00.000-05:00

I am VERY happy tonight! Why you ask? Well check out this link. Aside from the birth of a child or my (second) wedding day....this night has been one of the best. I will post more later....this is all for now....off to celebrate a little more. I sense a record setting inebriation happening tonight!

What A Stormy Day!!!

2004-09-16T21:45:00.000-05:00

Thank God that it is over and it wasn't as bad as it could have been....

Susan and I got up this morning around 7:30 and it was slightly raining and the winds were blowing a bit. Nothing too bad, but there was a feeling that things were going to get worse. I proceeded to make breakfast. I started frying the sausage, scrambled the eggs, pre heated the oven and put the biscuits on the cookie sheet. Once the sausage was done I poured the eggs into a skillet, began making the gravy and put the biscuits in the oven. Meanwhile Susan was sitting here at the computer reading my post about her phone etiquette, contemplating posting a response to it. I set the oven timer for 16 minutes and concentrated on the gravy, making sure it didn't get too thick, being sure to add the right amount of milk to mix with the flowered sausage bits in the skillet. After about twelve minutes I sprinkled some salt and pepper into the gravy and happened to notice that the wind had picked up outside and the rain had began to pour down in a slightly more horizontal direction. One minute later, the power goes out, then comes back on, then out again, then back on, then out for good.

Thus began a LONG day without power. But luckily the biscuits were pretty much done along with everything else, so we called the kids down and we had the last warm meal for a while. Afterwards she and I cleaned up the kitchen then I went to take a shower, using the last of the hot water from the hot water heater tank, and we settled in for a crappy hurricane day in Alabama.

My ex wife had given me 8 D batteries yesterday so we were able to have a radio connection to the outside world. We spent the day sitting together, with two wild kids, listening as the hurricane, then the tropical storm, worked it's way up the state of Alabama from the Gulf Coast. Around 2ish today it hit us with 50mph winds and major rain. I looked out my back door and noticed two of my trees beginning to uproot and lean over onto the neighbor's fence in the back of my yard. Meanwhile a leak began in the ceiling over the whirl pool tub in our bathroom, around the light, and there was a constant drip for several hours. They were saying on the radio that we could be without power for a few days so we decided to eat as much of the food as we could from the fridge. For lunch we all had bologna and cheese sandwiches, then for a snack we had some pudding cups. We spent the day laying around the living room, playing board games and listening to the radio. Around five this afternoon I decided we needed to make use of the two packs of hot dogs in the fridge, and since the wind and rain had died down a little I opened the garage door and fired up the grill. I cooked 16 hot dogs and we had them with doritos. I hate to say it but the four of us ate all 16 of the hot dogs, well I probably ate 8 of them, but we couldn't let them go to waste. After all we could be without power for days....As we were cleaning up from dinner, around 6ish, all of a sudden the power came back on!! Wow, you would have thought we had gone for days without electricity. Spending 10 plus hours, all in one room, with two wild kids, made it feel like days had passed.

So here I sit, bathed in the sweet artificial light of the fixture over my head, thankful that things didn't turn out as bad as they could have, and sorry for those on the coast who had it so much worse than we did here in the middle of the state. There were some deaths, as I am sure you have heard, in the panhandle. Alabama got off rather well, other than some destruction in Gulf Shores and Mobile. The deaths in Panama City were due to tornadoes. Let us keep all those folks down there in our thoughts as they dig themselves out of this mess that Ivan has left. Looks like tomorrow will be a "clean up the yard" day. There are plenty of branches and leaves all over the yard. Thank you for the comments to my post yesterday about the storm. Feels good to know that you folks were sending good wishes down here for us.

Later ya'll....

Ready For The Storm...

2004-09-15T21:28:00.000-05:00

If it goes like they are saying it will, we might be getting a pretty big hit from Ivan tomorrow. According to the latest projection we could be looking at 40 to 60 mph winds with gusts up to 75 mph. Six to twelve inches of rain, flooding and tornadic activity. They are also saying we could be without power for three days to a week. They have already cancelled school for the rest of the week. Susan's work, along with a lot of other companies in the city are closed. The biggest concern I have is whether they will be postponing the UT/UF game this Saturday! Damn, I would hate to have to wait till the weekend before the SEC championship to see some Gator ass kickin!

I thought I would be ahead of everyone else by going out at 6am this morning to stock up on necessities. Well, surprise....I was one of the last. I went to two Wal*Marts, five supermarkets, two drug stores and six conv. stores and couldn't find any D batteries, jug water or ice. Susan did close to the same up in Birmingham with no luck. I was fortunate to find two cases of beer, four bottles of liquor, three cans of tuna, six bags of Doritos and a 12 pack of condoms. Guess the party can still go on! :)

I'm not sure what the power or DSL situation will be for the next few days, but if I can I will keep you all posted. Keep us in your thought's!

2004-09-15T10:43:00.000-05:00

The Good Husband recently had a post on his blog that left me thinking. Event's of recent days have had me thinking even more, so I decided to talk a little about what I have been personally dealing with. First let me ask, is it possible to love someone without really liking them very much? If so then that is often the way I am made to feel by my wife.

The major issue that has me feeling this way is simply that I do not feel like I am ever worth the effort to talk to, in her book. I mean really talk and have interesting conversations. Share thoughts and feelings other than how we will pay this bill, or how the living room would look better if painted this color, etc. A typical work day includes her not wanting me to bother her when she is getting ready, during the day she only calls me if she needs something, or wants to remind me of something. When she is working from home, which she does a day or two a week, if I even set foot into our bedroom she gives me an evil look and asks why I have to bother her. When she gets home, if I bring up a conversation, she will get mad that I have interrupted the news or another program she might be watching. Then at night, if I try to bring something up, I am bothering her by keeping her awake. I am often asked, "Why do you have to be in my face all the time?"

But all that aside, one thing that usually bothers me most often is the phone etiquette she has with me. We both have call waiting on our cell phones as well as the phone at home. She hardly ever uses it when it is my number showing up on the screen. On the occasions that she might be talking to me and someone else beeps in, she has to go right away and take the call...because it's "business". Well, probably 75% of the time this has happened the "business" has been one of her friends calling who happen to be in the business. She argues that they exchange leads, but in reality most of the conversations consist of laughing and joking. Believe me, I know. Many times these calls are with other men. She says she would never do anything intimate with these men, even though their conversations are often about sexual things, but there is a different type of intimacy that I think about. The intimacy that she shares with them as friends that I don't get to partake in very often. Sure she married me, she lives with me, we have a good sex life, but there is more to "happily ever after" than that. I want to have the kind of intimacy with her that all these other people get to enjoy.

Example, last night I was out working late. I call her at home, the phone rings and rings and the machine never picks up...sign that call waiting is ignored. She calls me back 15 minutes later and says, "That was so and so (a man from work) and we were having a "high schoolish" conversation about a girl he is dating." Okay, so what is the problem with saying, "Hey so and so, give me a second and let me click over and tell my husband I will call him right back. Be back in a jiffy." (presses the flash button on the phone) "Hey Chuck everything okay?" Me, "Yeah just checking in." Her, "Okay...I am on the phone with so and so, let me get off and I will call you right back." Me, "Okay...call me back." (represses the flash button) "Hey, sorry about that....so back to this girl...." How hard would that be? I think about those poor people on the planes on 9/11 who called their significant others to say one last goodbye. Had that been me, most likely she wouldn't have clicked over.

Another example, last Friday she calls me while she was out and about pretty much to just tell me that she can't call because she doesn't think she has many daytime minutes left on her cell for the month. Fast forward to this Monday. I am here in my office working and she is in our bedroom working. I hear her cell ring and she proceeds to talk to another male for thirty minutes....on her cell. When she gets off I ask her where she got all those extra day minutes and she said, "Oh that was Joe (name changed) and it was just business. Yeah right, I never knew business could have you laughing and giggling to beat the band.

I know this sounds like a pity party on my part, but it's the way I feel. She sometimes points out to me that my problem is that I don't have any friends, and if I did I would understand. Her reasoning for this is that, as you know, I work from home and don't get to mingle with others hardly at all. But, she is right...I only really have one friend locally (Good Buddy Jim) but he usually works when I'm not working and vice versa. That doesn't leave much time to "hang out", although we do usually talk on the phone a few times a day. When I complain because she is wanting to go out and have a couple drinks with her friends after work, she tells me that it isn't her fault that I don't have my own friends to go out with. I'd just like to be invited out more often with her. I guess I just don't fit in since I am not "in the business". For months now, we have been, supposedly, going to get together with a friend and the friend's husband. That never seems to work out, even though I often ask her to invite them out. Reckon I embarrass her somehow. I guess she doesn't go out more often after work because she is afraid, when she tells me, I will want to tag along with them. I am tempted to quit this job and go find me one working in a cube somewhere. Maybe then I can learn what it is like to put "friends" ahead of the spouse.

I am not the huge idiot that I seem here. I have told her that I can understand not clicking over for two reasons. Number one, it's the boss or the boss's boss on the phone. Number two, it is a customer or client. Other than that, be it work friends, family or the President....I think a courtesy "call waiting click over" would be in order. But hey.....maybe I am wrong. Hell, it's just one man's opinion. Who am I to question someone who has friends?

Early Week Update...

2004-09-14T10:43:00.000-05:00

Looks like we have us a nice storm a-headin' our way. They are saying that we here in central Alabama will be feeling some major effects from Ivan. I like the suggestions of my fellow B'hamian Liesl, condoms and beer make for a nice Hurricane Party!

I have a new reader to my blog, my darling and beautiful wife Susie. Sometime over the weekend she decided to finally come back and read much of my ramblings. I suppose she kind of liked what she read, cause she has encouraged me to continue. I told her I would continue to be honest and speak from my heart, so she had better beware. She said she might like to have some administrative rights so she could post and share her "view". We all know her view would be unrealistic, but I guess she has a right to her opinions, however wrong they might be! :)

So let me update....We had a nice relaxing weekend without the younguns. They spent the time with jailbird F.A. Friday night we had Chinese carry-out and watched The Lady Killer's on DVD. Saturday night we went out to a snazzy new restaurant, and had some excellent oysters on the half shell. Sunday night we again ordered Chinese carry-out and ate while watching the new History Channel production about the war of 1812. We'll I watched it while she spent time reading more of Maddox's hilarious website.

What's that? You want to hear about the weekend sex? Oh, well let me try to remember....Oh, yeah Saturday we had us a mid day quickie. Good for me, ho-hum for her I guess. Saturday night we decided to go for a longer bout but alas it wasn't to happen. Not that we didn't give it our best. The mood was there but neither one of us could finish and we finally gave up trying. So I guess raw oysters aren't all they're made out to be! Sunday night, BINGO!! She made me come to the bedroom, once my 1812 show was over. Had me propped up on pillows at the head of the bed and gave me some hot oral attention. After a while of this she got up on her knees, turned around and had me go at her doggy style! I grabbed onto those hips and went to town. She encouraged me to "pound it hard!" Wasn't no sweet love making, but some serious fucking! I was holding onto her waist looking down at that sexy back and ass of her's when she announced the time was at hand. She came hard and then I pulled out and painted her back side with you know what. Mmmm, good old fashioned sweaty sex! Once we were done and cleaned up she asked me if I was going to go post about it on my blog. I asked if she cared and she said no. So guess what folks, maybe she gets off on this stuff. If she starts posting here I might have to change the name to "Our Marriage Made On-Line." Guess we'll see.

I would like to give a big shout out to my boy L who turns the big 4 today! We will be having him a B.D. party sometime between now and the weekend. Hope the hurricane doesn't blow us all away....

Later ya'll...

Feel Like Laughing?

2004-09-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

Susan came across a website that is DANG funny. Take a look at this page and be sure to click the second list of pictures at the bottom of the page. Then check this one out.

Didn't I tell you it was funny? The guy has a lot of other funny observations on his site. Think I will go check out a few more....

My Friend...

2004-09-11T23:19:00.000-05:00

I have a friend who is very sad tonight.

He has a good and faithful wife who does a lot for their family. Although things had been rocky in the past he knows now that she is there for him and does not have her eyes set on anyone else anymore to possibly replace him. He loves her with all his heart and believes that she loves him. He feels like she is his "true love", the one chosen for him to spend his life with. They have a decent sex life. It is frequent, although not always as intense as he would like it to be. He would love to have the opportunity to please her more often, without even having to be physically pleased himself. They both work hard, make good money, have nice things, a nice home and are on track to have it even better in the future.

So why is he sad?

He has told me that the major reason he is sad is that he just doesn't feel loved. Don't get him wrong, his wife does a lot in her day to day life to demonstrate love to him and their family. She has often gone out of her way to show the materialistic side of love. He knows that she loves him, it's just the feeling that he needs. I tell him that he is acting crazy. He needs to just accept the fact that all she does is enough to prove her love. Besides, I tell him, this is girly talk if ever I have heard it. "Are you a man or a woman?" I ask. Then he reminds me that there is much more, in his opinion, that can be done to prove love. He doesn't doubt that she loves him, why else would she have agreed to marry him. His argument here is best relayed to you, the reader, in his own words....

He sits next to me but doesn't really look at me, he is looking off...at something else, but he clears his throat and says, "I know that she loves me. I just am not made to physically feel like she does. We have sex pretty often, usually four times a week, but I am usually feeling, once it is finished, that I could have been with a stranger and felt more connection. Then there is all the other times..." He says, "Those times when I just want to hold her, to kiss her, to put my arms around her. Hell, I would like to be able to just hold her hand while walking in the mall without it feeling like it were a chore for her. " He turns to me and looks me in the eye as he continues. "There have been so many times where, at night in bed, I have reached out to her, tried to hold her, tried to put my arm around her, just to feel close to her...and she has pushed me away. Ninety eight percent of the time, in our marriage, this has been the case. Then there are the many, many times where I stop her in the kitchen, or on her way out to her car, or anywhere for that matter where I try to give her a kiss. She will recognize that I am wanting to kiss her and she will usually stop, make a drawn out sigh, and turn her face up to mine with her lips pooched out awaiting the kiss. This kiss she is expecting is not the kind of kiss I am wanting to give her. She makes me feel like having to kiss me is only slightly less worse than having to clean dog shit out of the carpet. All I am wanting to do is gave a kiss that says, 'have a good day', or 'sleep tight baby', or 'have fun out shopping and be careful'. Instead I am made to feel like I am trying to convert her to some religion she has no desire to be a part of. Her uninterested kisses makes me feel like shit." He stopped at this point and excused himself to the bathroom. While he was gone I could only think about how terrible that must feel, loving someone so much it hurts but not being made to feel the total/complete love in return. I feel bad for asking him the question that tried to put a label on how he really feels... "Are you a man or a woman?"

My friend returned a couple minutes later, sat back down, looked me again in the eye and said, "Chuck, I know she and I have had some rocky roads in the past, but now things are better. I just want her to respond to me. To love me. To want to be held, to hold, to cuddle, to really connect. If that makes me a "girly man" or a "drama queen" then go ahead and buy me the t-shirt. Make sure it says both of those...'I am a Girly Man and a Drama Queen Because I Love My Wife More Than Anything!' " I remind him that that might be too much to put on a t-shirt and we both get a good laugh from that. I get up and go into the kitchen to get us both a beer and as I return to the living room with beers in hand I am not sure whether the tears in his eyes are from laughing at the "joke" or from something else. He continues....

"Chuck I have told you so many times how much I love my wife. I would never, intentionally, do anything to cause a problem between us. I know I have been stupid in the past and said or did things that were fucked up, but that was way in the past. Why can't she just let me love her, and love me the same way in return?"

My response was to offer him another beer. I just don't know how to answer his question or respond to his statements. All I could say was to be "persistent, because surely someday she would come around and see what it is you need." He just laughed it off, downed the last of his beer, asked for another, and said...."Well, maybe this was a waste of time talking about all of this. Maybe I am a freak for wanting to really connect with my wife."

I didn't have an answer for him. Do any of you?

2004-09-11T01:08:00.000-05:00

Another picture before I go to bed. Found this today and just felt the need to share....

2004-09-11T01:01:00.000-05:00

Here is where we live. (click on the pic to make it large enough to actually see what it is I am talking about.) The red thumbnail marks our cul-de-sac. Our house is the 5th one on the right side of the cul-de-sac (your right as you drive onto the street). Taken from a satellite back in '97. All of the light gray area in the center is now full of houses. If you want to find your own home via satellite go back to my link on Aug. 30th.

And Thus The Work Week Ends....

2004-09-10T17:21:00.000-05:00

*warning....this post contains a slightly graphic sex scene*

What a week this has been, what with work, meetings, the return of the EX and her jail time....I am glad to see 5pm on Friday come. So here I sit, at my desk, cocktail in hand, ready for the weekend. FA has the kids tonight and tomorrow night, but she is bringing them home for a few hours tomorrow since she has orientation at her new job. Yes, it's true....she found herself a job. She will be a hostess at a well known chain restaurant here in the city making $10 an hour. Good for her, I hope she is able to keep this one. At least this job is legal, unlike her last one.

So, let me catch up.....Wednesday night I anticipated Susan being a little mad at me after my bailing out the ex and spending $30 of our money on it. But she wasn't. Around 9pm that night, after the kids were in bed, we were sitting in the livingroom watching something on tv and she says,

"Come on, it's Hump Day...let's go get it on!"

I look over at her and, and without much enthusiasm say,

"We can skip it tonight. I really don't feel like it. How about we wait till tomorrow night?"

Well, she was to have none of that. She got up from her chair came over to me on the couch, grabbed me by the hand and led me to our bedroom. She closed and locked the door, told me to strip down, proceeded to take off her night shirt and panties and pushed me down on the bed. Once I was laying there buckass naked she straddled me and began to kiss me like she has rarely done in the past. Real passionate kissing. The whole time her big tits are mashed into my chest and my hands are grabbing her ass and exploring the area between the cheeks. After a few minutes of this I begin to harden and lil'Chuck lifts upward lightly touching the luscious area between her spread ass and pussy. She feels it, sits up suddenly, reaches around and grabs it and says,

"Wow, you got this hard just from us kissing?"

"Yeah, we should do this more often." I say.

She gets off me and takes my cock and spends a good couple minutes licking it and my balls. She sucks it a little then repositions herself on top of me and slides it into her wetness. We go at it this way for a while, long enough for her to come once, then I push her off and get between her legs. I pump away, she comes again, and I finally pull out and blast her with a load of nut gravy. All over her stomach and tits.

Wow, what a surprise that was. If only she would initiate shit like that more often!!

Yesterday, nothing much happened. Worked all day. FA came by around 4 and picked up the kids. It was quite a reunion since they hadn't seen her in over three weeks. Susan got home and I went out for Taco Bell (sorry, nothing hot happened this time), came home and we watched the Colts and the Patriots play the first regular season game of the year. She went to sleep during the 3rd quarter and I watched it to the end. Damn, why did they have to miss that field goal attempt? I turn down the volume, change the channel to FoxNews, turn over and drift off to sleep.

Today, about the same, worked hard and am looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. Hope you all have the same!

Later ya'll...

I Spent The Day In Jail.....

2004-09-08T22:54:00.000-05:00

Well, not actually in jail but at the jail....let me explain.....

I was sitting here this morning cruising some blogs and working when around 11 am I get a call on my cell phone. I don't recognize the number, but I answer anyway thinking it might be a sales rep for one of my customers. Instead I am greeted with a woman crying herself silly and I sit here saying, "hello?" over and over again. Finally she dries up enough/stops crying for me to realize that this is a call from the ex wife, F.A., and she tells me she is calling from jail. Our conversation goes as follows....

F.A. "Please, I need you to come and bail me out. I have called everyone else and no one will help me."
Chuck "What's going on? Why are you in jail????"
F.A. "I was arrested last night because there was a warrant out on me for writing bad checks to (a grocery store)"
Chuck "How much is your bail?"
F.A. "It's 10%, $180.....I have $150 I just need thirty more. It has to be paid in cash."
(more sobbing/crying)
F.A. "I didn't want to bother you, I called everyone else I could think of, no one would help me. Please come and get me out of this place. (Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope....well, that is what I was thinking, sorry for the Star Wars reference....)"
Chuck "I'll be there in thirty minutes."
F.A. "Thank you."

I get in the car and head down towards the town she lives in. I call Susan and tell her all that has happened and she tells me to leave her there and let her rot in jail. I assure her that by us helping out F.A. I will be able to find out all the details, something that I wouldn't be able to do if I didn't go and help her. Susan is always wanting to know all the random things that are going on in F.A.'s life, and she gets mad when I am not willing (or caring) to ask. I just don't care anymore to know what all is going on with the ex. I have moved on, but for some reason Susan gets off on hearing all the explicit details of F.A.'s pathetic existence. Maybe it is because we have to pay her alimony every month and Susan feels she needs to get her moneys worth. Anyway............

I get there around noon and call the bail bond people, they tell me it will be 2pm before they can get there. I go to the police dept. and tell the woman at the window to let F.A. know it will be two o'clock before anything happens. I ask her if I can talk with my ex and she tells me "no, not without the bail bond person here." So I leave there and drive the two miles to my ex wife's house and go inside. She had told me where the key was hidden. During the three weeks she has been in N.J. I have gone to her house twice to bring her mail in.

I spend an hour in her house. Most of the time I just sit there and look at all the old pictures she has of all of us back in the day. Oh, I also take advantage of her bathroom. I stunk the place up real good!! I left there and headed back to the jail just in time for the bail bond person to show up. I sit there waiting and around 2:15 the woman behind the window tells me that the bail bond person had called and can't make it. She suggested that I call another.

I am given a list of bond companies, I ask who they would recommend, and she lets me know she can not suggest one. So I begin calling down the list. One the third call I get an answer and am told that Dawn will be there in 30 minutes. Thirty minutes later, at 2:45, Dawn shows up. We fill out all the paper work, she informs me of my responsibility as a co-signer to posting bail, and then F.A comes into the room. She looks like shit. She hardly even looks at me as she signs her name to the paperwork. Once it is all signed and done with they give her back her personal belongings (her purse) and she and I head out to the car.

Once we are in the car she tells me the whole story. She had been driving back home from the Atlanta airport last night and was within a block of her house when she drove through a stop sign. She looked up and saw the blue lights in her rear view and just happened to be infront of her house at the time. She pulled into her driveway and the cop told her to move out and park on the street. She told him that this was her house. He asked for her license and insurance. She asked if she could go inside and use the bathroom. He told her to stay in her car, it would only take a minute. A couple minutes later, after he had run her license through the computer, he tells her to step out of the car. He tells her that she is under arrest because there is a warrant out for her. She asks what for (as she is being put into handcuffs), and he tells her that she will find out when they get to the station. So around midnight last night my ex wife is booked into the city jail. She is finger printed, mug shot...all the regular shit. And the reason for all this is because she had written 6 bad checks to a grocery store.

So, I have her in the car and begin to tell her that she needs to take control of her life. I tell her that "for so long now so many people have been bailing her out. Your Mother, your church, the adoptive parents, me and Susan, and now I have literally 'bailed you out' and this will be the last time." I tell her that this really is the LAST time....do not ever call on me for help again.

She cries into my right shoulder and promises to straighten herself out. She grabs me around the arm/shoulder and places her other hand on my stomach. As she rubs my stomach I am convinced that if I were to take my right arm and put it around her neck she would easily go down for an oral "thank you" for all I had done. But I don't do that, of course. I push her away and remind her that she needs to straighten up her life. A few minutes later she gets out of my car telling me that she intends to get herself straight. She then begs me to allow her to see the kids again soon. I assure her that I will allow it as long as she begins to do things to make herself better.

I get home about 30 minutes later and a lot of good things happened at home tonight. Susan initiated some awesome sex....I will talk about all that the next time. I am tired now and need to get my ass in bed......

2004-09-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

I have been sick now for several days reading, watching and hearing about that terrorist attack in Russia. Just came across some pictures from inside the school. If you click further through the link you can find even more. What kind of deranged bastard shit heads would do this stuff to children? If I was the president of Russia, Chechnya would be in ruins tonight. If they want to collaborate with Al-Queda and cause the death of hundreds of children, then they all deserve to die!

Sorry to get on a soap box here tonight, just got disgusted when I looked at all six of the pictures from inside of the school and imagined the fear these kids must have felt. How they must have wanted their parents so badly and I am sure that many of the parents were outside wishing they could get in and rescue their kids. It truly is very sad. It is even more sad to think that this same kind of thing could happen here in the U.S. at any one of our schools. God, I hope we never see that day. I only hope we continue to be as tough as we have been for three plus years now against these heartless terrorists. We need to continue to have a strong leader as we have now, someone who will NEVER give in to these freaks.....

Rainy Tuesday....

2004-09-07T17:02:00.000-05:00

It's rainy and windy here today thanks to Frances passing close by to the east. I can't believe that there is yet another hurricane, Ivan, heading towards Florida. Damn, I feel sorry for those folks down there, but hey....If you choose to live in Florida you have to expect it to happen sometimes. I remember living in Panama City, Florida and having two hurricanes hit near by in one year. When I moved to Oklahoma City I knew there was a good chance there might be tornadoes. Mother Nature can be a bitch sometimes.

Well reading some of my favorite blogs I see that a lot of you folks had a nice Labor Day weekend. It was no exception here at "Casa de Chuck". Thanks to the unexpected check we received on Saturday me and the family had a little extra to play with. I have already told you about Saturday nights spending spree, well on Sunday we busied ourselves trying out the new steam cleaner on the carpets downstairs. It is amazing, and a little sickening, to see all the brown water that collects in the tank when a rooms carpet has been cleaned. Scary to think of all the unseen dirt in the carpet, but when you have kids I guess it's to be expected.

Sunday evening Susan, the kids and I went to our neighbor Renee's house for dinner. She had invited two other families on the street and we all had a nice time talking and eating her homemade BBQ. Each family brought something to contribute, we brought desert (key lime pie) and a pitcher of pina colada's. We came home in time to watch The University of Tennessee kick some UNLV booty (42-17)! Ya'll know, if you have been reading, that we are HUGE UT fans. Susan is a graduate, and I have been on the UT Bandwagon ever since I moved to Knoxville in '95. UT made history by being the first school in the SEC to start a true freshman as QB, we actually started two and they both looked awesome! It was a very good game and I can't wait till weekend after next when we host the sucky UF Gators in Knoxvegas.

Monday morning we all slept in a little, oh wait....I almost forgot....Sunday morning, before breakfast, Susan and I had some hot sex! It had been exactly a week since we had last knocked one out. I was laying there in bed with my usual "morning wood" and she reached over to give me a morning hug and couldn't help but notice the enlarged visitor to our bed. She reached down under the covers and slipped her hand inside my boxers and took hold of "lil'Chuck". We could hear the kids milling about upstairs so she said, "Come on...let's have a quickie. We'll do it better tonight. Just seems like we can't let this (she gives it a squeeze) go to waste." I was more than happy to oblige. We throw the covers back, I get up to lock the door, and as I am coming back to climb in bed we're both pulling down our undies. I position myself betwix her legs and she wraps her legs around my waist and I commence to pounding. Ten minutes later we are both satisfied and we get up to start the day. Then later that night, after the game and once the kids were in bed we go for the long session. We included all the foreplay; kissing, oral, etc. then get down to business but I just couldn't feel that urge. You know the one I am talking about.....the desire to B.D.N.....so instead I let her feel the waves of pleasure and we finished up, an hour later, with me being glad I got to get off during the morning session. Again I say, "Damn this Paxil!!" (anti depressant medicine)

So, back to Monday (I can't believe I almost left out the sex LOL).....okay, so we slept in then I got up and made Bacon/Egg/Cheese sandwiches for everyone. After breakfast we cleaned the kitchen up, got ourselves cleaned up and dressed and headed out to the mall. Recently my 11 year old daughter T has discovered the wonders of makeup and has developed a desire to shave (thanks to her friend's suggestion) her legs. Today it was Susan's goal to help T with her makeup needs so our first stop was the Clinique counter at Rich/Macy's. She got T a facial (it's hard for me to say that in reference to my daughter) and the lady taught T the proper application of muted tone makeup. Susan ended up spending $150 on make up/cleansers/etc for our 11 year old, then we took the girl to get her hair cut. Went to Regis and she got a shorter hairdo and got it styled to boot. We then took her to a store, (Delia's I think it was called), and she picked out a couple shirts. What is with all these slutty shirts that they are marketing to tween's and teenagers? It is pathetic with all the "suggestive messages" on the shirts. She (we) settled on one that has a picture of a pig in the center with the words, "You Boar Me" written across the top, and another with musical notes on it. We then left the mall and headed over to "The Superior Grill" an excellent Mexican restaurant, T's choice, and had a nice late lunch. Susan and I had a couple liters of frozen margaritias. They have the best marg's there. (right Jim?) After this we went to Target and bought a few things including the Spiderman invitations/plates/napkins/cups for L's birthday party next week. Yep, my boy will be 4 on the 14th. We got home around 5pm, Susan went down for a nap, the kids went out to play and I started painting L's bedroom. This took until around 9 and by that time we had had a lite supper and the kids were heading off to bed (L in the guestroom). I finished up (still have to paint the crown molding, base boards and doors), cleaned up my mess, talked to Jim on the phone and headed to bed.

I got in bed, gave Susan a kiss (she was asleep) and changed the t.v. to one of the Cinemax channels so I could find a little soft core porn. As usual they were showing some movie with simulated sex. I watched for about 15 minutes (boring!!!) then changed it back to Fox News, turned the volume down a little and rolled over and went to sleep.

So there was my Labor Day Weekend in a nut shell (and in two separate posts). Hope you all had a good one too!

Later ya'll.....

What an AWESOME day!!

2004-09-04T23:03:00.000-05:00

This has probably been the best Saturday since the Saturday I got married a little over a year ago. Shall I fill you all in on the exciting day? Okay, here goes....

Woke up this morning around 8:30 with a raging hard on. We didn't have sex last night, although I could have, just didn't feel like it. I reach over to her side of the bed to touch her and she is not there. As I become more awake I realize that I can hear "The Fairly Odd Parents" on the surround sound from the living room outside my bedroom door. It occurs to me that L must have woke Susan up, and she left the bedroom to get him situated, leaving me to sleep. Oh well, guess this morning wood will have to wait. As I am getting up from the bed I remember that T has a friend over to spend the night and I had promised to make everyone a BIG breakfast this morning. I throw on a T-shirt, go take a leak, shift my wood around a little in my boxers and leave the room to begin the day. L is sitting on the couch watching his show...."Morning Chuck!" he says. "You call me Dad, remember?" I say. "Sorry Dad, morning." He returns. "Morning bud, come give me a hug and a kiss." I say hoping he won't notice the log in my shorts. I turn to the side and give my boy a hug and a give him a kiss on top of the head. He returns to the couch and asks, "You gonna make dinner?" I turn, as I am walking into the kitchen, and say, "Dude, we have dinner at night, this is breakfast." "Sorry Chuck." He says. Oh well, I don't try to correct him this time. He hears Susan calling me by name so much, I guess he gets confused. Hell, he is only 3.....well almost 4.

I walk into the kitchen and I see Susan sitting here at our laptop in my office. Actually it is the formal dining room off of the kitchen that we turned into my office since we don't have any formal dining room furniture, and we wanted to save the fourth bedroom for a guest room instead of an office. She looks up and says, "Morning babe. Just reading the home town newspaper online. You sleep good?" I tell her about a dream that I had had about the two of us, something funny and not worth repeating here. She laughs and I walk over and pull out the "wood". She kisses it a couple times and then I return to the kitchen to begin the process of cooking breakfast.

Today's menu consisted of sausage, bacon, biscuits, scrambled eggs and gravy. A good southern breakfast and I made sure to leave some sausage hunks in the gravy. Later, when the girls are down stairs eating and asked what the "hunks" were in the gravy I said, "Oh, those? They are little pieces of cow brain.....they will make you all smarter....eat up!" They laughed and made yuck sounds, but ate it anyway. They weren't fooled.

After breakfast the girls went over to the Renee's house to babysit her 5 year old son so she could run some errands. Renee's husband died suddenly two weeks before Easter this year, he was my age and a friend. Maybe I will share that story with you all someday soon. Anyway, her son, N, is a very bright kid and a good friend of my son L. Susan and I cleaned the kitchen and then later she went down for her nap. I spent the whole time she was sleeping reading an awesome blog. Sat here for an hour and pretty much read the whole thing. Then I went out and weed ate, cut the grass and blew off the sidewalks/driveway. Came in and took a shower and Susan woke up. She took both girls to the friend's house, they are spending the night there tonight, and then proceeded to take a shopping trip alone to the mall. I put L down for a nap and cleaned the living room and my office, then spent some more time reading the rest of Steve's blog.

Susan got home a couple hours later and gave me a fashion show of all the new clothes she had bought. She had opened herself up an account at Rich's/Macy's and had taken advantage of the "first day 10% off special" when you open up a charge account. About this time I go out to check the mail and find an interesting envelope in the box. It is from our mortgage company and looks very much like a check. I come in with the mail and drop it all in her lap but hold onto the mortgage company envelope. As Susan is opening the rest of the mail I slip open the one from our mortage company. As I pull it from the envelope I find that it is indeed a check, and it is for $1,500.00!! I hand it to her without saying a word and she looks at it and begins to freak. Then we both begin to freak! Seems we had over paid on our escrow and this was their payment back to us. What a nice surprise!!

So with a nice little chuck of cash in hand, she, me and L get dressed and head out to the mall. We go to Rich's/Macy's and our first stop is the men's department. I have been in need of some new clothes for a while now. I get two Hilfiger dress shirts (blue and burnt orange) and three Hilfiger ties and one pair of Polo boxers (on clearance). As we get on the escalator and go upstairs the first place we come to is the jewerly dept. Okay, you all should know, there is a watch I have been wanting for about six months now. It is beautiful and it is a Kenneth Cole. Here is a link to the actual watch. We bought it and I love it....How special do I feel now??? :)

We shopped a little more and she bought herself a few things and then we left for dinner. We decided to try out a Mexican place we have wondered about and it was very good. All three of us stuffed ourselves and I paid the check and we headed to the Wal*Mart Super Center.

Shopping at WM with a buzz on isn't a good idea. We ended up leaving the place having bought a steam cleaner for the carpet ($150), a upright fan for our bedroom($30), a new ($40) blender for her Pina Colada's plus $180 in groceries and other shit. All in all we spent around $400 tonight at WM. Wow, it feels good to have unexpected money!! We got home, unloaded all the crap we bought. I put together the fan and then my parents called. I spent an hour on the phone with my Dad while he talked all about the childhood home that he and his brother's are planning on buying. During this time Susan put L and herself to bed. When I got off the phone with Dad it was around 10 PM my time. I went and checked on the boy, he was asleep, then I checked on the wife. She was barely awake and as I went into the bathroom to take out my contacts I told her about my Dad's call. Once I was finished she told me she loved me and that she was going to sleep. I walked over to her, gave her a kiss, then came out here and began this blog entry. So, if you are wondering....tomorrow will be a week since I have had SEX with my wife. This is the first time since we have been married that we haven't, at a minimum, had it at least three times in a week. I could have had it tonight, hell I could have had it last night if I had wanted to. I guess it is this damn medicine. I really have no desire. I know it is something that I want to do, but I just don't have the desire to initiate it. I haven't even jacked off....I dread to see the load I deliver the first time I get to cum. It could drown somebody.....

Later ya'll...

Got To Love A Four Day Weekend....

2004-09-03T14:58:00.000-05:00

Got back a little while ago from a day on the road. Had a couple nice meetings in Dothan, but was lucky to get a room. The city was swarming with cars with Florida plates. Many folks fleeing the wrath of Frances. Last night I went out to dinner, met some way cool locals, followed dinner with a couple drinks at a watering hole, then made it back to the hotel in time to catch my President's speech at the convention. I even stayed up till 1am watching the replay on Cspan. Man, I am a boring S.O.B.!

One would think that I would have learned my lesson about getting a little too buzzed and posting shitty, ranting posts about things that really aren't as bad as they are in reality. Well, that's what I did Wednesday night. Sometimes when I have a few and then something happens that I don't agree with, I tend to see it through my beer goggles (or in this case vodka/lemonade goggles). Although it is true that I am often not appreciated as I would like by my wife, I need to remember, as I do when sober, that she really does love me and anything she says or does that hurts me usually isn't done on purpose.

So what kind of excitement do you all have planned for Labor Day Weekend? I intend to do yard work, if it doesn't rain, and paint the boys room. He picked out a Scooby Doo comforter set recently and I want to change the dull white walls in his room to a pale yellow. Official name is "Applesauce". He also picked out the color!

Since I skipped out on the offered "Hump Day" activity Susan offered me the other night I am looking forward to getting a chance to get me some loving tonight! Damn it's been since Sunday....haven't gone that long without in a while. She did inform me that she started her period today, but that won't stop me from my quest. A little extra lubricant never hurt anything, right??

Well, guess this will be all for now. Reckon I should get back to work. Have a good weekend!

Crap Does Happen....

2004-09-01T22:47:00.000-05:00

Do you like how I said "crap" instead of the alternative? This has been a weird day....

First last night...I reach out to touch my wife in bed and she shoots me down, telling me to leave her alone, and don't touch her. I wasn't trying to have sex with her, I was just wanting to connect with her and feel her warm body next to mine. Well, this morning we had a few words about the night before and somehow we came to the conclusion that I was being ridiculous. Hmmm, news to me.

I had a couple weird meetings with customers today, that didn't go anywhere near to how I had planed them to go. But don't worry, no business was lost, I just have to learn to kiss some ass better than I have before.

My ex calls me today to ask what has been going on. She has been in New Jersey for the past three weeks visiting her grandmother. I told her that I had watched the "Passion of Christ" yesterday and she proceeded to inquire whether I had gotten anything out of the movie. I asked her what she had gotten out of the movie, knowing she has seen it in the theater four times, and she said she learned how to be a better Christian. I asked her if that meant that she had learned how to pay her debts and not be such a dead beat Mom. After all, surely Jesus would want her to behave that way. She didn't have much of an answer other than to quickly get off the phone with me.

Then later my wife calls me to tell me she is on her way home from work. Thirty minutes later I call her back hoping to inquire about how bad the traffic is and how close she is to getting home. Well she doesn't answer and it goes to voice mail. I choose not to leave her a voice mail and continue with the dinner preparations for the kids. She gets home 15 minutes later and informs me that she saw that I had called, but she was busy talking to another guy on the phone and didn't want to switch over and answer my call. Well, that sure made me feel ever so special. Of course she had to point out that she hasn't done that much recently so she figured I wouldn't care that she didn't answer my call. Just so you know there was a time where she wouldn't have answered a call from me if she was on the phone already. It has been a few weeks since the last time that has happened. My argument to her was, if it was someone important like your boss or a customer I can understand you not taking my call....But just a friend? Hello, don't I matter more to you than Steve D.? She assured me that I do matter more.....guess we'll see how it turns out the next time. On a day by day basis she doesn't make me feel more important to her than these people she works with or her friends from the past.

Then later I am talking to my Mom and find out that she got out of her car at Lowe's in her town and fell into a hole in the parking lot. They were redoing the surface of their parking lot but neglected to rope off the section that wasn't ready for customer's cars. The manager on duty was less than sympathetic and spent the whole time my Mom was talking to him and showing him what happened on his cell phone talking to his girlfriend. I got all over her case because she should have called a lawyer and began the process to sue the shit out of Lowe's. At the least they would have settled for a couple hundred thousand. After all they were in the wrong.

Then later Susan reminds me that tonight is "Hump Day". I just wasn't in the mood, after all that had happened didn't feel like accommodating her needs. So she went to bed with me telling her how I hate the way she treated me last night. She didn't appreciate me saying that, so I don't know where we stand. All I know is she is sleeping naked now in the bed, and I am here blogging like an idiot.

Oh, I forgot....Buddy Jim brought over some good food earlier this evening on his way to work....thanks man for the grub. It was excellent!!

Sorry things have been a bit down tonight. I leave tomorrow for Dothan, Alabama and a couple meetings down there. Won't be home till late on Friday. Guess I won't be able to post again till then.

Later ya'll....

Weekend Recap...

2004-08-30T16:42:00.000-05:00

Been slammed with work today, but pretty much finished now. I thought I would take some time to recap my weekend for you (in case you care). There was some good lovin', some quality family time, and a fun night out on the town.

Oh, you want details? Okay.....Friday I got home from a big meeting down in Montgomery and walked in to find my wife and her best buddy Susie G. engaged in the 69 position on the couch. My wife looked up and invited me to drop pants and come join them......no, just kidding, but wouldn't that have been cool to walk in on?? They were acually watching movies and drinking pina coladas. I was recruited to run to the liquor store for some more. When I got home we all sat there and watched a new release which was pretty good, and we all had a few more cocktails. Susie G went home around 5pm and I went out to Blockbuster and rented Barber Shop 1 and 2, and got T a PS2 game. Susan and I spent the evening watching Barbershop and once the kids were in bed we slipped off for some orgasmic fun betwixt the sheets!

Saturday morning I made a big breakfast for the family and we cleaned house, watched Barbershop 2 and laid around. That evening Susan made a HUGE dinner for us all, some kind of chicken casserole and corn stuff she found on one of her favorite websites. It was good and we settled in to watch USC beat Va. Tech. Didn't really care about the teams, but we are SOOO damn glad it's football time again!! That evening Jim and I went out to meet a friend, Chris, at a jazz bar downtown. We had a blast playing darts and drinking too much. Met Kevin the bartender there and he was quite entertaining, not to mention he made some strong ass drinks! In a moment of my extreme drunkenness I told him about my blog and he said that he also had a site on Yahoo where he had posted pics of himself. I told him to send me the link and I would link it on here. Well folks, he sent me the link and all 60 some pics, but in the effort to keep this site's NC-17 rating I had better not link the pics. Kevin, if your reading....please accept my apologies. After the bar Jim and I joined Chris at his house for a few more rounds of darts, and drinks with some blackjack thrown in for good measure. It was fun and around 4am we made our way back to our respective houses. In case you're wondering, Susan had no problem with me staying out all night. She often goes out for drinks with her work friends and so far this is something I, in my pathetic boring life, have yet to do....Without her being there of course. It sometimes gets old tagging along with her and her work buddies.

Well, now to my tired and hung over Sunday....actually I wasn't hung over, but I sure was TIRED! Only got to sleep about 3 hours before the day beckoned. Not much went on yesterday. I did go buy groceries, and $120 later, I came home with a trunk full. We again sat around watching t.v. Had some good family time with the younguns watching a very cute movie together. I highly recommend it. In the early evening I made hotdogs and fries and after dinner the kids went out to play with all the other kiddies on the cul-de-sac. Once they were out side Susan got up and invited me into the bedroom. Twenty mutually fulfilling minutes later we returned to watch the MTV Music Awards and get the kids in for their baths. I was in bed and asleep an hour later.

I slept like a rock and 10 wonderful hours later (6:30 am) I awoke to begin a new week, and it's been busy all day!

Later ya'll...

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself....

2004-08-30T13:54:00.000-05:00

A couple times a week I read a blog called "Big Dick's Place" and I usually am entertained by his no nonsense, sometimes gruff way he looks at the world. After all the title of his blog is, I believe, his attempt to describe himself, not his member. Well today I read his post, and couldn't help but find myself in total agreement with his interpretation of events. With his permission I am linking this post here. A very interesting, and accurate perspective...IMO.