Background Info....

Where to start?  I guess it would be best to give a little marital background information.  I was married to a woman for a little over 11 years.  I will call her F.A.  F.A. and I met in college, dated off and on for two years, then married after I graduated in '91.  The first couple of years were pretty good.  In late '93 our first child was born, a daughter T.  With the birth of T, FA gained a lot of weight and began a self loathing process that would go on for 9 years.  Not that I had anywhere to complain.  I am 6'5", and within a few years of marriage I had ballooned up from around 220 to 280.  But anyway....in 2000 we had a son, L.  Right around the time he was born I began a massive weight loss program thanks to Dr. Atkins.  I went from a top weight of 332 down to 235 in about a years time.  During this time FA continued to gain weight, grow more and more miserable and spend most of her time in bed, not working.  She was also completely not interested in sex.  After a while of my persisting she finally told me flat out to go "find myself a girlfriend or something and leave her alone."  She also informed me not to "bring anything home to her", incase she wanted to have our quarterly sex session.  Well, I must say that I was interested in the prospect of finding a friend and my wife not caring.  With my newly slimmer body I wasn't having any trouble turning a few heads on the rare occasion me and my buddies would go out for a beer.  BUT, I never did anything major.  Oh yeah I went to the strip clubs and even a massage parlor once, but I never got into any real action other than a lap dance here and there or a "happy ending" at the oriental massage joint.  Then I discovered the wonderful world of on-line chatting....complete with web cams and all the trimmings.  I made some nice friends and even met a couple, but never went too far with them.  You see, I was, in a way, committed to my family/marriage.  Even though she had given me the greenlight and we both easily described our marriage as a room mate situation.  We were friends, we were just not lovers or in love.  We enjoyed a lot of the same things....watched Friends and ER together every week.  Oh, and most importantly we had the kids in common.  But that was about it.

Late in '02 I was promoted in my job and moved back to the south from Oklahoma.  I bought a house, the family moved and I thought maybe things we going to get better with us.  She began working out and losing weight.  She made plans to go back and finish her degree....everything seemed on tract.  She even, for my BD in November had sex with me!!  Whoo Hooo!!!  Then, right around Christmas, I asked her if we could try to work on things, maybe go to counseling, do what ever it took to make our marriage better and also more intimate.  I remember her taking her hands from around her waist, turning from the sink and saying, "I will let you know when or if I am ready to do that.  Meanwhile just keep on doing whatever you want.  Go find yourself a gf and just leave me alone."

Well folks, if you're actually out there reading this, I did just that.  Not exactly a gf, but a one night stand.  And guess what?  She busted me....all thanks to Yahoo Messenger and my keeping archives and forgetting to log out one night.  She hired a PI, had me followed, and two weeks later filed for divorce.  Little did I know at the time she was banging the PI the whole time.  Anyway....to make a long story short, the divorce ended very quickly.  I won't go into the details here now, maybe some other time, but you should know from the day she filed to the day it was finalized was about 45 days.  I ended up getting primary custody of the kids, keeping the house, and pretty much came out unscathed.  I did promise to pay her alimony for 5 years, but that is another story....but during all this terrible time something good did happen.  I met the love of my life, in a Yahoo chat room....and a whirlwind courtship began.....

More later, got to get back to work.

Later, y'all....